Some words that have to come out of me.

A new film coming out later this year dramatizes the idea, put forth by some people with unusual thought patterns, that the world will end in 2012. The idea here is based on the claim that the Mayan calendar ends that year. Calendar runs out, world runs out.

According to the Mayan Calendar, my birthday is Fish, Leopard,Guy With His Tongue Out. Try to remember to send a card.

If you want to read about the Mayan calendar, here is Wikipedia’s information on it. If you don’t want to read about the Mayan calendar, I can just tell you, it doesn’t end. Ever. So, if the world will end when that calendar runs out, we’re going to be fine for a long, long time.

I wonder what gets people fixated on innocuous seeming events as the thing that signals the end of the world. I’ve got a calendar at my desk, why doesn’t that calendar trigger the end? Does it even have to be a calendar?

What would motivate a deity of any kind to pick an end date for the world, then cause someone to create a cryptic system of  keeping track of the passage of time that accidentally points out that date?

Keep playing, Inca dude. I'm not telling you. Also, could you play sort of over there-ish, away from me?

If I were ever in a position to make the decision of what date the world would end, I would not tell any Mayans. If you were an Inca,you could just keep doing whatever it is you do, I’m not telling you either. Just keep jamming on your pan flute you pre-Columbian thing, you.

I wouldn’t tell any of you either. You folks just can’t keep a secret.

Also, I would not tie that decision to something really obvious, like a calendar. No, when the world ended based on my decision, it would be very well done. Subtle and classy. People would get together in the afterlife, have a beer and try to figure out what really happened to trigger the cataclysmic end. They’d sit around and review that fateful day and speculate wildly on what happened that indicated that was the day.

It could be anything…maybe both headlights go out on my car at the same time. Perhaps the Baltimore Orioles return to and win the World Series.

You know what? I’m changing my mind. I’m going to tell you. If I were given the power to decide the event that would signal the end of the world, it isn’t going to be a calendar running out, or someones watch stopping. It will be the Baltimore Orioles winning the World Series.

Unless Brooks and Boog come back from the '70's we should be safe. God I miss them.

So, if you’re ever watching baseball, and the announcer says “The Orioles  have  ended their long nightmare by winning the Series “, then the world ends, you will know it was my decision.

Lets face it, the Orioles will never win again. We’re going to live forever, if its my call.

On the other hand, if it does all come to an end that way, you’ll be able to get together with your friends who are trying to figure out how it all ended and say something subtle like…did you see the game last night?