Just say what happened.

The principal difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives.

Mark Twain

I am not a current events guy. I don’t see me turning this into a current events blog. So, to that end, I’m going to write about current events.

Lets discuss the lady whose chimp attacked her friend. God bless her, I’m sure shes stressed. But lets talk Xanaxing a chimp.

First she says she gave the chimp the anti anxiety medicine, the next day she says she didn’t.

I’m trying to give her as many points as possible for being affected by a really tragic situation. But here’s the thing. All of us have been through really tragic situations in our lives. I’m thinking relatively few of us have ever said out of the blue, in the course of dealing with our events, “I gave party A some tea with Xanax.” Maybe you would say that sentence if you were a pharmacist moonlighting in a tea room next door to an anxiety clinic. Beyond that I don’t see it as very likely.

Say what happened. You can’t unsay stuff, especially things like I drugged my monkey. People tend to remember that sort of thing.

Prayers and thoughts to all involved in this thing though. Wow. So many people in positions I would never wish on another soul.

Moving right along. Roland Burris. Senator from Illinois. Clearly an educated man. Not a really smart man.

It appears Roland has a couple different stories about fund raising for Blagojevich.  One of them must be wrong. Not a good situation to have put oneself in.

Again, dude, just say what happened. Sure, you’re no chimp pharmacist, but you are dealing with politicians.  Seriously, you think chimps are unstable? Get to know a politician.

Roland, the same fundamentals apply here, say what happened. Untruths are soon discovered.

Friends, lets all join together and agree. No drugging primates, no raising money for politicians. In fact, any combination of raising money, drugs, politicians and chimps, lets just say its bad news. If you dabble in those four things, just say what happened. The rest of us still love you. We just really wonder what you were thinking.

3/1/09 update: I found this yesterday (thanks to Happy Robot) about the cost of owning a monkey. All things considered, I think I’d take the lion. What a bargain.

I don’t have any information on how much it costs to own a politician.

4/1/09 update: First off, I don’t intend to update this post on the first of every month. I’m adding a link to a blog post about public non apologies because I spotted it today and thought it made a good point about an issue tangentially like this.


One Comment on “Just say what happened.”

  1. michgal18 says:

    Hey–thanks for the link! 🙂

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