Hello Kitty, The Virgin Mary and mePosted: February 22, 2009
Today, in a car parked next to mine, I saw a plush Hello Kitty with a picture of the Virgin Mary sewn onto its chest.
What the hell is that about? What is the purpose…beyond causing me to wonder about it the rest of the day?
It was next to a car seat, obviously a little kid plays with it. Ever wonder where those people who claim to have visions and see the Virgin Mary in their toast come from? Well, I know one of them is riding around in a little car right now with Hello Heavenly Kitty.
How does this child play with the Hello Heavenly Kitty? Does he cajole his friends into playing Hello Kitty over and over again, only to end the game by simulating having a vision of Our Lady of Guadaloupe and falling to the floor babbling in unintelligible languages?
The poor kid. Is there really enough counseling in the world to recover from a childhood like this? There really should be a license to have a child for this and so many other reasons.
All this thought of people who have religious visions got me to thinking. If I suddenly achieved some sort of spiritual enlightenment and became a deity, how would I get my point across to people when I decided I had something to say?
I know, those of you who know me are painfully aware that I have nothing to say. Go with the premise for arguments sake and stop being so hard on me, I try.
I’d probably want to talk to a few world leaders to get some stuff straightened out. So I would call them, directly, on their unlisted numbers. Sure, they aren’t going to believe me. That is why I’d be standing outside their door in my robe, or whatever I always get depicted wearing in works of art. I would hope I’d be depicted wearing shorts and a ball cap. I’d like to be comfortable, because I’m sure omnipotence brings its own set of tasks I’m not aware of at this point. Anyhow, I’m pretty sure the unannounced phone call/visit strategy would be an attention getter. Certainly more effective than appearing in the water stain on the living room wall of some doublewide.
You know, I think I’d still hang onto the spontaneous apparition thing though. I think it would be a good way to drop in on my friends. We’d probably miss each other after I achieved spiritual enlightenment and moved onto another plane (or to the Keys). What better way is there to let them know I’m still thinking of them than appearing in their bowl of Cap’n Crunch once in a while?