Wal-Mart sells the last rebel

I hate Wal-Mart. I don’t like their politics. I don’t like they way they exploit their workers and their suppliers. I don’t like those blue vests. I don’t like that damned smiley face.

Quite a while ago, I promised myself I’d never go back there again. So this weekend, there I was again in Wal-Mart. We were out of town, missing something important and under a deadline. The closest thing to our hotel was one of the dreaded stores. I guess promises really are meant to be broken.

On this visit to Wal-Mart I spotted something I thought was pretty silly. A t-shirt that declared the wearer “The Last Rebel”. Let us consider this, shall we? No? Ok, how about if I do, since I’m the one writing this?

One of the principles I believe is that if you truly are something, it is self evident. You don’t have to tell anyone. By that principle, if you were truly rebellious enough to continue being so even when all other rebellious people had moved on to more conventional activities, I think you’d stand out enough without having to buy a Wal-Mart t-shirt to gain attention for your upstart ways.

Let’s assume you are in fact, the very last person who is acting on your rebellious ways. If you needed a shirt to designate you as such, wouldn’t you just have them made? If you went to Wal-Mart and saw shirts for sale in sizes S- XXL that declared the wearer to be The Last Rebel, you’d really have to question your status or just really be frustrated that you were being marketed without consideration of how you felt about it. I guess the lesson here is that if you do find out that you are the last rebel, the first thing you should do is copyright your title.

In the end, it just seems a little ironic that a shirt that praises rebellion would be sold at a place that is all about making everything and everyone the same in the name of profit.

Wal-Mart, the emergency is over, my promise is back on. I am not shopping at your stores. I’m sure that will cripple you. To make up for the lost millions in profits from my buisness, here’s an idea.  Maybe you could sell t-shirts with “I won’t ever shop at Wal-mart” on it.


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