Carrot Top and Pippi Longstocking’s love child makes news.

In the news today is the story of a 14 year old in Germany who claims he was grazed by a meteorite which would have been traveling at 30,000 mph when it hit him.

Does this seem impossible to anyone else?

This is the wound from a 30,000 MPH flaming hot rock?

This is the wound from a 30,000 MPH flaming hot rock?

Here is a photo of the kids scarred hand and the meteorite that hit him. It just seems to me that if something is moving at 30,000 mph and hits you even slightly, there would be much more than a minor scar. This, however, went on to create a sonic boom and embed itself in the road he was walking on.

I’m just going to have to call this BS.

Hey kid, welcome to puberty. A time of many changes in a boys life. Including people not thinking its cute when you lie.

Sure your mother believes you. It's her damn job.

In fact, it kind of bothered me that this kid would try to run this crap past me and expect me to believe it. Look at his smug little smile. He thinks hes getting one past you and I.

Well I won’t stand for it. I decided to get in touch with his parents.

Admit it, this has to be his mother.

His mother answered the phone at her home, Villa Villekulla. As you might expect, she denied any responsibility for

Hasnt been the same since Pippi left him

Hasn't been the same since Pippi left him

her son’s antics. She remained defiantly committed to her son’s story and would not believe any argument to the contrary. She also blamed her son’s teachers and her estranged husband, just in case he was lying.

For the record, people like this piss me off when they blame their kid’s teachers. I raised my son not to lie about getting hit with meteorites, and I’ve gotten nothing but support from his teachers in doing so.

I was going to call Carrot Top to let him know, but I just decided I really didn’t want to. I just knew the conversation would degrade into some goofy prop thing.

Pippi, I am sorry that I find your son completely full of it.

Kid, I know puberty is a strange time, especially living with your mom and her monkey. Making up wild tales to get attention isn’t the best way to feel better about yourself. Maybe you could get in touch with your school counselor, or perhaps someone who could help you make up a story that really could have happened.

11 Comments on “Carrot Top and Pippi Longstocking’s love child makes news.”

  1. frigginloon says:

    Yes, news should read… school kid ends up melted to road after being hit by a big fiery ball! I hope he sells his scab on eBay!

    • omawarisan says:

      Hey, if he can get hit with a 30,000 MPH rock, why wouldn’t it leave a really eBay marketable Virgin Mary shaped scab? I’ll get back in touch with Pippi, I’m sure they can use the money.

  2. queensgirl says:

    Pippi never would have had such bad taste in men!

    • omawarisan says:

      Pippi said that marriage was one of those things that should have stayed in Vegas. I have to agree. Shes always been a bit of a binge drinker though…she gets impulsive.

  3. frigginloon says:

    Little fibber,I got a bigger burn when I was struck in the face by lightning while I was surfing the Tsunami and got dumped into a volcano! I hope your friggin nose grows!

    • omawarisan says:

      I was wondering what that burning smell was back around the time of the tsunami. You didnt get nearly the press you deserved.
      If he can get hit with a 30,000 mph rock, it shouldn’t really bother him if we show up at his house with a wheelbarrow full of baseball sized rocks and just start pelting him, right?

  4. jammer5 says:

    I remember the time I was exploring Mars and those darn Martians stunned me with some kind of weird ray gun. I got back at em, though: I diverted the rocket containing the ashes of Hunter S. Thompson to Mars and dumped him on their pointy little heads. Gonzo goes to Mars, soon, at a theater near you.

  5. jammer5 says:

    Hmmm . . . ‘urn marks maybe?

  6. fnord says:

    “I raised my son not to lie about getting hit with meteorites, and I’ve gotten nothing but support from his teachers in doing so.”

    Wish I had thought of teaching my children this lesson — could have saved soooo many heartaches.

  7. I think I agree that if something is traveling at that speed then it would more than likely do more damage than that graze!

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