Staycation expert? I bet your mom is so proud.Posted: June 27, 2009 | |
On a recent morning TV show I saw, the hosts made a big deal over the fact that they would be having an expert on “staycations” on to help people who would not be traveling for summer vacation this year.
Let me begin with a short discussion of the concept of the staycation. It is a
stupid concept. People have always stayed home when they didn’t have money for a vacation. They called it “we are staying home”. There was no need for a special word, or an expert to tell them how to stay home.
Now, given that this dumb semantic foolishness of staycation began in the past year when the economy went bad, I have to wonder, how does someone become a staycation expert? There certainly was not time to develop any sort of educational requirement or certification program.
So, I am guessing that a staycation expert is someone who took some time and looked up some cheap or free stuff to do. Maybe they sat around and brainstormed with another staycation expert on what they might do with limited resources.
In the end, the staycation expert got paid the day I saw the news pumping up their on air appearance. I think that’s what kills me. I could so easily be a staycation expert. I have stayed home. I did it without guidance or assistance.
I’m probably lucky I didn’t get hurt.
The secret to success is finding something you can attach the expert title to and having the nerve to present yourself as that expert. Once you do that, the checks start arriving. It doesn’t even have to be anything real, like staycation.
I’m leaving for vacation at the end of the week. I’m going to put significant amounts of adult beverage and time into considering what field I can invent to be an expert in.
Look for me soon on your local morning news show, being introduced by the perky anchors, or maybe sitting down for an interview with the weather man.
“Our guest this morning is Omawarisan, an expert in pizzaphonic communication. Omawarisan, what are your top pizza ordering tips?”
“Well Stormy, one of my favorite tips is to preprogram the pizza joint’s number into my cell phone for more efficient dialing.”
Yeah…I am soooooo going to get paid.