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Old men driving, flooding drink cups and coming home from vacation

Just finished a six hour ride from the beach. There is no good sentence with “from the beach” in it except “I am calling you from the beach”.

Just like when I think and drive, except not driving and naked.

Just like when I think and drive, except not driving and naked.

Long drives allow me to focus on the really important phenomena of life. I think about them a lot, but I never resolve them. So, to put my mind at ease and to put on public display my shallow level of thought,  I am going to point out a few of these things in the hope that some of your comments might resolve some of my unanswered questions.

Whenever I make a long highway drive I observe something I call “old manning”. I call it this because the practitioners of this are always and invariably old men.

I’m not doing it out of disrespect for those who could be called old men. One of my fondest wishes is to join the ranks of old men. My 17 year old son recently announced that he would begin calling me his old man. I have no quarrel with old men, or my son.

It is always a car like this. Sometimes there is a box of tissues and a hat in the rear window. How do they get to those tissues if they need one?

It is always a car like this. Sometimes there is a box of tissues and a hat in the rear window. How do they get to those tissues if they need one?

However, if I drive and set my cruise control on a given speed, I will inevitably encounter a large luxury car driven by an elderly gentleman. I often approach it from behind, move over to pass…and the race is on.

As I approach there may be a 15-20 mph difference in our speeds, but as I begin to pass, the other car speeds up and matches my pace. I speed up a little, so does he. It seems a matter of honor to these gentleman that I not pass them.

There are two ways of addressing this situation –  speed up until one of us wins this undeclared race or leave the car on cruise control until the other driver falls back to his original pace.

My question, dear readers is this – what is that all about?

Next important unanswered question. On the drive back we stopped at a fast food place and I got a drink to take in

What is the name of this phenomenon?

What is the name of this phenomenon?

the car with me. Nothing unusual, paper cup, plastic top, straw. I sit in the car, put the straw through the provided place in the lid and it happens – the drink rushes up through the straw hole in the lid and forms a lake on the lid.

Some of you must have seen this phenomenon before. On the other hand, maybe because it happens all the time to me, the law of averages allows it to never happen to you.

So, since this happens so often in my experience, I need a word to describe it. Whaddya got?

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7 Comments on “Old men driving, flooding drink cups and coming home from vacation”

  1. Donald Mills says:

    “My question, dear readers is this – what is that all about?”

    I’d be happy to fill you in.

    As a senior man, I drive my 1982 Buick LeSabre at a damned safe speed (generally between 24 and 27 mph). I see the speed limit and like to shave a few numbers off just to cautious and because I’m not really in a rush to get anywhere.

    But when some speed freak young man comes whipping up beside me…some deep, primative instinct kicks in. I suspect it is something to do with young men overtaking their elders, fear of death and general crankiness but I’m no Siggy Freud.

    All I know is that when it happens, my foot hits the pedal like a ton of bricks and I haul ass down the highway.

    Feels good too. Sometimes I smoke after.

    Hope that helps, son.

    God Bless

    Donald Mills

    • omawarisan says:

      Mr. Mills, I am honored and well informed by your answer. That clears up a lot for me. I’m happy you moderate your pace to protect us all.

      If ever you need a tissue from that box next to the back window of the LeSabre I hope that you will pull a safe distance out of the roadway before gettting it. If we’re on the same highway, I would certainly pull over and help.

  2. frigginloon says:

    It is the Wet Pants phenomenon.

    • omawarisan says:

      You know, I was starting to lean toward greed pond since it most often happens when I fill the cup myself, but Wet Pants Phenomenon works for me. It is the end result.

  3. fnord says:

    Another good story and Mr. Mills comment was the icing on the cake! I love your site, it makes me smile.

  4. slipperyfreudian says:

    Well, I am Siggy Freud, and I’m sure it feels good to keep some whipper snapper from passing you on the highway of life. As a metaphor for thriving despite one’s impotence, nothing can beat a good throw-down on the road.

    But I am concerned about the smoking, Mr. Mills. Tell me about your need for cylindrical objects…


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