Thanks, I’ll do it the old way

Time wasting inefficient no good tropical jerk

Time wasting inefficient no good tropical jerk

I saw on Yahoo that someone posted a video on the net to show people how to open a banana like a monkey. The video is at the bottom of this post.

I am officially going on record on this matter. I will never open a banana in this way. I urge you to remain with me, in the tropical fruit dark ages, opening bananas starting at the stem. For those of you inclined to hear a pro monkey banana method point of view, I provide this link.

Let us consider this together.

First, consider that the gentleman who created this video admits that this method of opening fruit “blew my mind”. Even if this is more efficient, does it truly reach mind blowing levels? I think not.

I’m not sure why I’d need to open bananas more efficiently anyway. Maybe

Youll have to wait.

You'll have to wait.

I’ll be called upon to make copious amounts of banana pudding soon. Because I intend to stand by my pledge to continue opening bananas the old way, I may not meet my pudding making goal. To each of you counting on me for the cool, potassium laden goodness of banana pudding, I am sorry.

The man in the video thought this topic was so important, he had to create a video for instant world wide distribution. If you are truly trying to make sure people buy into an important point, are pajamas the best wardrobe choice? I am certainly a casual dresser, and I don’t really enjoy wearing ties. But for something like making the world more efficient at peeling tropical fruit, I would have to consider putting a tie on.

His friend, Britney, taught him this amazing stunt after watching him struggle to open a banana. Blurt readers, I think we can all agree that from the moment Britney saw pajama boy struggling so hard to open a banana that she felt pity and was compelled to retrain him, the die was cast. Britney will always be just a friend.

Let’s wrap up this important discussion with an important point. While

Do you really want to eat everything like they do? I think not.

Do you really want to eat everything like they do? I think not.

humans and monkeys have both evolved to the point that we make and use tools, human tools are better than monkey tools for most things. Sure, if you want to get termites out of a mound, spend time learning from Bobo the monkey.

If you’re a human having trouble opening fruit, and I’m directing this at you pajama boy, simply remove a knife from the block on the counter immediately to your left. Use the knife to cut the offending fruit, lets just say its a banana, open. Put the knife in the dishwasher. Eat the fruit.

Britney is going to be so impressed.


10 Comments on “Thanks, I’ll do it the old way”

  1. frigginloon says:

    Oma, he had me at banana…. if he was only wearing a Three Wolf Moon T-shirt. Do you think Britney was talking about fruit when she showed PJ boy?

  2. omawarisan says:

    Yeah, I think she was. I’m thinking wandering around in your PJs fighting losing battles with bananas does not get a boy much positive attention from any Britneys.

  3. frigginloon says:

    Hmm Oma, it all depends on the size of the banana!

  4. Tony says:

    I am determined to stick to peeling bananas the human way & so should everyone else. Some things in this universe just shouldn’t be messed with

    • omawarisan says:

      Thank you for your commitment, Tony. We are evolved. Lets stay that way man.
      I hear Britney likes Tasmanian old farts, keep peeling them right. I see big things for you.

  5. queensgirl says:

    I’m guessing that he intentionally wore those pajama pants, monkey-flocked as they are.

    • omawarisan says:

      You know, I didn’t pick up on the monkey pattern. I’m certain that’s exactly where his head was in deciding to wear pajamas. On some level, that makes it work. Peeling bananas is so important, he made wardrobe decisions.

  6. Lucky Eye says:

    You know, my sister (when she was younger) peeled the bananas the monkey way. She told me that because it was instinct, because the banana wouldn’t get mushy and people just through that part away. Personally, I like doing it the monkey way.

    • omawarisan says:

      And everyone has their preferences…the thing is, is it really worth taking the time to make a video over or announcing how it “blew my mind” like pajama boy did? I dont think so. Of course, is it worth me ranting about that he made the video? well, yeah!

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