Thanks, I’ll do it the old wayPosted: July 16, 2009
I saw on Yahoo that someone posted a video on the net to show people how to open a banana like a monkey. The video is at the bottom of this post.
I am officially going on record on this matter. I will never open a banana in this way. I urge you to remain with me, in the tropical fruit dark ages, opening bananas starting at the stem. For those of you inclined to hear a pro monkey banana method point of view, I provide this link.
Let us consider this together.
First, consider that the gentleman who created this video admits that this method of opening fruit “blew my mind”. Even if this is more efficient, does it truly reach mind blowing levels? I think not.
I’m not sure why I’d need to open bananas more efficiently anyway. Maybe
I’ll be called upon to make copious amounts of banana pudding soon. Because I intend to stand by my pledge to continue opening bananas the old way, I may not meet my pudding making goal. To each of you counting on me for the cool, potassium laden goodness of banana pudding, I am sorry.
The man in the video thought this topic was so important, he had to create a video for instant world wide distribution. If you are truly trying to make sure people buy into an important point, are pajamas the best wardrobe choice? I am certainly a casual dresser, and I don’t really enjoy wearing ties. But for something like making the world more efficient at peeling tropical fruit, I would have to consider putting a tie on.
His friend, Britney, taught him this amazing stunt after watching him struggle to open a banana. Blurt readers, I think we can all agree that from the moment Britney saw pajama boy struggling so hard to open a banana that she felt pity and was compelled to retrain him, the die was cast. Britney will always be just a friend.
Let’s wrap up this important discussion with an important point. While
humans and monkeys have both evolved to the point that we make and use tools, human tools are better than monkey tools for most things. Sure, if you want to get termites out of a mound, spend time learning from Bobo the monkey.
If you’re a human having trouble opening fruit, and I’m directing this at you pajama boy, simply remove a knife from the block on the counter immediately to your left. Use the knife to cut the offending fruit, lets just say its a banana, open. Put the knife in the dishwasher. Eat the fruit.
Britney is going to be so impressed.