American Idol Live. Not impressed.

I do not watch American Idol. I have never seen the show. Last night, I was completely validated in that choice. Last night, I had my introduction into the culture and this years performers at the live show.

Oh, the humanity.

Number 10 guy, blonde woman, black woman, Indian guy, the rocker girl, not about me guy, number two guy and number one guy. Also, the other guys

In no particular order: Number 10 guy, blonde woman, black woman, Indian guy, the rocker girl, not about me guy, number two guy and number one guy. Also, the other guys

People were lined up for hours to get into the show that they had reserved seats for. Then there were the people who stood at the loading dock entrance hoping to get a glimpse of the performers. Why? It was a million degrees outside.

The person most folks seemed to want to see was the second place guy, the one with the make up. Whenever he was shown on the video screens the arena was filled with screams. T shirt ad, screams. Coke ad, screams. Ford ad, screams. If he is that popular, I am not sure why he was second place.

When you attend these concerts, the thing to do seems to be to wear a t-shirt supporting the person you like. I was concerned that this was so people would know who they could get up a fight with. That didn’t seem to be the case. The fans of the blond girl, the make up guy, the winning guy and the Indian guy all seemed to get along and let each other be for who they were for.

So as best I can tell, the t shirts were an economic stimulus for the industries of iron on letters, fabric paint that comes in tubes, and airbrushing. Many of them said things like “Team Adam.” I don’t know why a singer needs a team.

All performers go for the cheap cheer they get when they mention the name of the town they are in. I don’t know why that gets a response, but it does at every concert I have ever been to. Hello, Peoria…the crowd goes wild.

At the American Idol concert, each of the 10 performers went for the “say the city name cheer” at least twice during their solo performances. A couple performers only did 2 songs, most did 4, so they really had to rush to say what town we were all in. They didn’t disappoint.

The performers came on in decending order from number 10. Number 10 was this guy.

Number 9 was a blonde woman; her talent seemed to be walking in heels. Singing was kind of a weak point.

I started lapsing in and out of consciousness at this point. There was a black woman who had a more powerful voice. She tried to generate some excitement by saying that she told her staff she wanted a choreographer for this one particular song and got the same one that did a Beyonce video. I question whether she actually has a staff, but we’ll move beyond that. The choreography seemed to consist of her power walking around the stage. Her staff got taken.

There was a guy with an Indian sounding name. He had a pretty powerful voice. A few other guys came on, I can’t really say why they were part of what was ostensibly the top 10 singers in the country.

After intermission, a girl with pinkish purplish hair came on. She was a rocker. You could tell because she held an electric guitar and there was a lot of dry ice smoke.

She was followed by a guy who made it a point to say he didn’t “want to make it all about me”, then proceeded to tell a story about how he made it through as far as he did. The story took five minutes, it was all about him.

Dude, seriously. Covering Led Zeppelin? Poor decision.

Dude, seriously. Covering Led Zeppelin? Poor decision.

Now came the moment most of the crowd was waiting for, the guy who came in second. I’ve never been good at math, so I can’t explain how the guy with the most fans comes in second. I also can’t explain how he got the most fans.

He opened his 4 songs by singing Whole Lotta Love, by Led Zeppelin. I blacked out. No one should ever cover that song. Second place guy was not the man to try.

I know from the news that after the TV competition, second place guy announced he was gay. I bring this up, not to down him for that. I believe people’s sexuality is unquestionably their buisness and not for me to judge them upon. I bring this up to question the thought process of some of the women in the audience.

The man is not into women. Yet, some women threw their bras up on the stage while he sang. Why would they do that? Do they truly think they were going to toss their bra up there, the guy was going to look down, see it and say to himself “you know, maybe I should reconsider.” Ladies, he didn’t get a vote on his sexuality. He is the person he is. You don’t get a vote either, even if it is written on undergarments.

To second place guy’s great credit, he was the only one who seemed to acknowledge that there was a band there playing on behalf of all the performers. That was very decent of him. The band was otherwise

First place guy had the charisma of this fridge. At least the fridge has some handy storage. He lacked even that.

First place guy had the charisma of this fridge. At least the fridge has some handy storage. He lacked even that.

completely not acknowledged until the finale when one of the chosen 10 said “a hand for our band.”

The number one guy came on. He was not what I would call an electrifying performer. He had his fans. Not as many as the number two guy. I did not see anything on the news about him announcing he was gay. Because of that, no one threw him their bra.

I know I am very much in the minority here, but I am certain after seeing this show that I will once again, not watch the TV show when it comes back around.


13 Comments on “American Idol Live. Not impressed.”

  1. Kathi D says:

    Er, um. Why were you THERE????? Did you lose a bet?

    • omawarisan says:

      Grabbing a few extra bucks for play money. Now, on my November vacation I can have a couple beers and say to myself, this one’s on first place guy, this ones on second place guy….

  2. frigginloon says:

    Oma, Oma, Oma, you just don’t understand the whole Idol thingy do you? Best singer never, ever wins for goodness sakes, duh! Remember Susan Boyle. It’s all part of the unreality of reality TV. Every season they have white girl, black girl, gay, can’t sing, can’t dance, hated,country, loved singers. They usually throw in a really good singer that we can all learn to hate so they will get voted out about around 7. Media will go on and on about how unfair it was, the ratings will go up and we will all pick a new singer to hate. Then the really, really hated singer will redeem themselves win a Grammy, maybe an Oscar and become a regular on American Idol every time an album is released. People like yourself will then follow them on tour make the show heaps of money so it can be guaranteed to be back next year. It’s the American Idol life cycle.

  3. omawarisan says:

    You know, it does seem like they always have some controversy going. But that makes for a really odd show when the concert peaks…and then one more guy, the one who ostensibly is the star comes on and slows the show down.

    People like me follow them on tour?!?! Never! Springsteen, yes. This, not on your life.

  4. frigginloon says:

    I suspect you are a closet Idol fan and that makes Meteorite boy one jealous dude! Watch your back Oma!

    • omawarisan says:

      Loon, you know I am on a 12 step program to help me stop writing about Meteor Boy, so that’s not really helpful. Oh damn, look what you made me do. Now Ive got to go back to step one.

      Step 1…I am powerless against my need to write bad stuff about that lying sack of crap meteor boy…

  5. Vanesa says:

    Seriously? I would rather go to a Hannah Montana concert. I’d even choose the Jonas Brothers over American Idol…

  6. Vanessa says:

    Hey, by the way, did you notice I spelled my own name wrong in that comment. I ROCK!

  7. omawarisan says:

    Vanessa and Vanesa, if either or both of you want to see the Jonas Brothers or Hannah Montana, we have both coming here in the next few months.

    Is there a second place Jonas Brother, because if so, I think he is probably the best one.

  8. frigginloon says:

    Whoops, sorry Oma, but at least I didn’t mention Carrot Top ahhh whoops, my bad. My therapist told me there would be days like this 🙂

  9. queensgirl says:

    All right, another non-Idolator! Suddenly I don’t feel so alone. 😀

    • omawarisan says:

      You know, strangely enough, I’d almost recommend that if someone offered you a free ticket to accept and go watch this. Oddest mix of people I’ve been in in a long time.

  10. jammer5 says:

    While listening to the radio one morning, a new Hanna song came on. The DJ gushed over how good it was, with me thinking, “He calls that music?”, as I inserted my Chinese copy of “Milly Vanilly” and rocked on down the road.

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