Getting rich by selling words.

Since my plan to gradually become outrageously wealthy has not worked out yet, I am embarking on a new path. My new goal is to get rich the old fashioned way, quickly.

My get rich quick scheme involves picking some random words, putting them on things and selling them. Let’s look at some examples of marketing random words which have inspired me to begin my new career.

Not a funny man.

Not a funny man.

My observation that the marketing of the phrase Git r’ done, the catch phrase of supposed comedian Larry The Cable Guy, seems to be fading. At its height, it seemed that those so inclined could buy just about any physical object emblazoned with this dopey phrase. I’m certain somewhere there is a redneck with a Git r’ Done pacemaker keeping his heart on task.

I really have no idea what the origin of this phrase in Mr. The Cable Guy’s comedy career is for a simple reason. Comedians should be funny. Mr. The Cable Guy is not. As best I can tell, his act consists of telling a “joke” and then saying Git R’ Done. Git R’ Done is apparently the funny part because that’s when the people in the audience laugh.

Despite him not being funny, the fact that he has become rich selling a gibberish phrase containing only one actual word makes Mr. The Cable Guy an inspiration to me.

Why are they buying this crap?

Why are they buying this crap?

My next inspiration for marketing random words is Hollister. If a person were to write Hollister on a wet sack of concrete, a teenager would immediately buy it. The next time you go to a mall, time yourself on how long it takes to spot a teen with a Hollister t-shirt on. It won’t be long.

I conducted research into this by asking my son, a known teenager, what Hollister is.  He told me he thought it had something to do with surfing and when asked, confirmed that wearing these shirts is as common at his school as I thought. He told me that there was a girl who he never saw in anything but Hollister shirts last school year.

We live in a landlocked part of North Carolina. Why are they buying this crap? None of them surf. The only waves around here happen at ball games when the home team is losing.

No, its not.

No, its not.

One final inspiration. Pink. How many women and girls do you see wearing something with this word on it? Why would someone think they could sell the word pink?

Yet somehow, it works. Someone is rich. I am inspired.

So now, I present the finalists for my random word marketing campaign. One of these phrases, or one suggested by the vast readership of this blog, will soon be available on t-shirts,  sweatpants, bumper stickers, coffee mugs, etc.

  • Lather, rinse, repeat. This one has the quality of being instructional in tone, like Git R’ Done, but uses 3 actual words.
  • Omawarisan Ramen Company. Hollister Surf Company markets t-shirts about surfing, to kids who dont surf. I can beat that. Kids eat noodles so… they are bound to love my Ramen Company Shirts. You might argue that I dont have a ramen company, and that would be correct. Hollister doesnt sell surfboards either.
  • Duck. A single word, like Pink. It has the advantage of being both a noun and a verb. Think about this one emblazoned across the back of some sweat pants. I think this is the idea that is going all the way for me.

So there you have it, an example of the Omawarisan buisness acumen. A prime example of why I am going to be rich. Perhaps, a more fitting example of why I am not.


10 Comments on “Getting rich by selling words.”

  1. I’m not sure I agree – I think Omawarisan Ramen Company and Duck are good for t-shirts.

    But maybe that makes me the odd one. 🙂

  2. queensgirl says:

    Ooh, maybe I’ll include “Hollister” in my next edition of Words and Phrases I Could Live Without. It’s ubiquitous up here, too.

    As for your soon-to-debut line, I’d go for Omawarisan Ramen Company. I’ve never actually eaten ramen, but as you said, so what?

  3. omawarisan says:

    Please do. Anything you can possibly do to get Hollister knocked off helps out the Omawarisan Ramen Company.

    I’ll set you up with all the noodlicious first edition ORC (that’s what the kids call it) shirts.

  4. […] 16, 2009 at 4:21 am (Words I could live without) ~ Hollister (See my friend Omawarisan’s post. Actually, check out his whole blog. He’s very funny. […]

  5. queensgirl says:

    Done! I was actually looking for a third word-or-phrase to go with the two I’d already decided were grating enough to qualify.

    And thanks for your comment on “Table Manners.” 🙂

  6. Kathi D says:

    I’m thinking instead of “duck,” how about “duct” because then you could illustrate it with a strip of duct tape. You could have a strip of duct tape and print “duct” on it and put it on the seat of your underpants. And stuff.

  7. […] 16, 2009 at 4:21 am (Words I could live without) ~ Hollister (See my friend Omawarisan’s post. Actually, check out his whole blog. He’s very funny. […]

  8. fnord says:

    You know ‘a known teenager’? WOW!

    You do know how to turn a phrase, and make words fun!

    Enjoyed the thread, hope you get rich!

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