Getting groceries without Britney.

Heres the thing. Just sell me my blueberries and let me go. Well both be happier.

Here's the basic idea. Just sell me my blueberries and let me go. We'll both be happier.

Back when I was much younger, a local grocery store took the step of having a few check out aisles where there were not tobacco products for sale. This was seen as a good thing, and I tend to agree. That seems quaint now that that stuff is now over in another section of most stores, but that was a big thing back then.

Around the time my son was born I remember groceries making it a point to have a special check out aisle where there was no candy. I appreciated that. My son was not big on making a big scene in stores, but it was nice not to have to run my shopping cart past a display of temptation for him.

Im here to fill this with food, not Octomom news.

I'm here to fill this with food, not Octomom news.

Now, I am hoping for a new innovation for the grocery industry. Gossip free checkout aisles. Let me modify that. One gossip free check out aisle.

Let me speak right to you, supermarket people.

I am sure that selling gossip magazines is big money. You wouldn’t have them there at the check out aisle if they weren’t. I’m certainly not of the mindset of cutting off anyone’s revenue. That’s why I’m just asking for one aisle…no People Magazine, no Us, no teeny bopper “which boy is cutest” magazines. Follow me so far? Good.

Here is why that’s a good idea. Not everyone cares about that stuff. Some of us (by some of us I mean me) are sick of seeing the same faces and topics blaring at us all the time. Lets face it, you can change the picture, or change the subject, but the same crap is on the cover week after week.

The simplistic answer would be not to look at it. Next time you’re somewhere where there are words posted…signs, magazines, whatever, try to stop your brain from reading them. It can’t be done.

Let’s review what shows up on these magazines:

Where babies come from.

Where babies come from.

  • Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. She is pregnant she is not pregnant. They are saving the world. They are getting a divorce. Doesn’t affect me.
  • Octomom. Shoots out kids like a Pez. Is not altogether there. Sad for the kids, but thats no reason to feed her illness with attention. I’m not interested.
  • Jon and Kate. See Pez reference above. See sad for kids reference above. See not rewarding with attention reference above. I don’t care.
  • Madonna. Britney Spears. Never really talented. Careers circling the drain.
  • Jennifer Aniston. Was with Brad Pitt. He moved on. According to magazines covers in the check out line,  I should feel bad for her. Yeah, not so much.
  • The Kardashians, Paris Hilton.  Famous for no reason. That’s a good enough reason for me not to care.

Mr. Grocer, every week I buy lots of food. I wait patiently in line for my turn to give you money. I don’t think its too much to ask for one line to be left as a gossip free zone.

I’d gladly stand in that line, even if it were longer, just to avoid being bombarded with blaring headlines of these folks’ latest exploits. Think of the benefit of announcing that aisle 6 in each of your stores is a Jon and Kate free zone. Even if only two percent of shoppers think as I do, and all of us abandon your competitors in appreciation…I believe the term is cha-ching!

I get whacked with this stuff on the net, it’s all over the tv news. Please Mr. Grocer, let me buy my blueberries without having to read about Angelina Jolie.


6 Comments on “Getting groceries without Britney.”

  1. frigginloon says:

    Oma, Oma, Oma, if we don’t buy the mags , then they won’t get attention and if they don’t get attention, the movie studios won’t pay the enormous figures they demand so it will make it worthwhile for the paparazzi to get out of bed to take the photos for the mags, that make them stars. It’s either that or we go back to watching telly shows and reading the TV guide while chomping on the blueberries that now leave a sour taste in our mouths! Hey, is it true Jolie is expecting again?

  2. fnord says:

    Oma, do you have NO self control? 🙂

  3. tracking back – Getting groceries without Britney…. tracking back – Getting groceries without Britney….

  4. jammer5 says:

    What about the alien babies from the planet Mongo? Surly, they deserve to be heard, don’t they? I tried to adopt one, but they eat really weird stuff, so I got a dog instead. One of those checkout rags said Jimmy Carter had a conversation with aliens once. I wonder if they were from the planet Mongo. Maybe he adopted one of their babies. I know he had a dog.

  5. jammer5 says:

    “Hey, is it true Jolie is expecting again?”

    Expecting what?

  6. omawarisan says:

    Oh now thats something different altogether! Stuff like the weekly world news – Alien babies, Nine Foot Chipmunks – there is no where else to go for that. That would have to stay.

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