The policies of my administration: Bathrooms and BlackberriesPosted: August 25, 2009
It is time for another announcement of one of the policies of my administration. When I take over, things are going to change.
I have a co-worker who is loud. Everything he does is at top volume. He even literally thinks out loud. If he decides to call someone he says aloud, for example, “I’m going to call Carla about that paint.”
With that opening,you might think that this policy announcement is going to concern talking to oneself. Perhaps it ought be. It isn’t.
This post is about how multi-tasking will be limited by my administration.
You see, this morning I went into the mens room at my office, because that’s the one I’m supposed to use. As I walked in I heard my co-worker say “I need to call Mike about the fleet.” Sure enough, he was in the stall, thinking aloud. I told myself that he wouldn’t make the call. Not there.
I was wrong. I heard his Blackberry holster click.* He called Mike, they talked about the fleet. The conversation ended with “ok, I’ll do that when I get back
to my desk, I’m in the bathroom.”
My friends, I will admit that this event was so disturbing to me that I forgot why I was in the bathroom and left.
Have Blackberries made it so easy to multitask and so expected that you will multitask that it is acceptable to do so while relieving yourself? Is it so accepted that you actually tell people that’s what you’re doing?
Now you have the why, let me give you the what in this policy announcement.
When I take over running everything, my administration will strictly limit multi-tasking, especially regarding the use of Blackberries.. The policy is based on what I consider to be an important principle of life : just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you should do it.
Blackberry users will be prohibited from using them in any way in the presence of porcelain. This is for my own sanity. Before the Blackberry was invented, I made it a point not to do buisness with anyone who was sitting on the john. I see no need to change that practice now that the invention is ubiquitous.
Additionally, Blackberry users will be prosecuted for reading email while someone is engaged in conversation with them. Some users of this device are enabled to be rude by it’s technology. They shouldn’t.
Finally, Blackberry users will be violating the law by using their device during any event at which their children are performing. A man whose son’s attend high school with my son has never failed to spend the entirety of each band concert his sons have played in over the last three years working away on his Blackberry.
My administration will usher in a new day of civility inside and out of the restroom. Blackberry people, don’t wait until the last minute to start changing your ways.
* I have decided that I will let all this gentleman’s calls go to my voicemail. I will return the calls after a fifteen minute delay. This will allow me to convince myself that he is not on the toilet when I talk to him. Of course, now that I know he will cross that line and tell someone he is doing it, I can never truly be safe, can I?