2012, the end of the world…or maybe it happens when my watch stops.

A new film coming out later this year dramatizes the idea, put forth by some people with unusual thought patterns, that the world will end in 2012. The movie works on the idea that the Mayan calendar ends that year. Calendar runs out, world runs out.

According to the Mayan Calendar, my birthday is Fish, Leopard,Guy With His Tongue Out. Try to remember to send a card.

If you want to read about the Mayan calendar, here is Wikipedia’s information on it. If you don’t want to read about the Mayan calendar, I can just tell you, it doesn’t end. Ever. So, if the world will end when that calendar runs out, the world can never end.

I wonder what gets people fixated on innocuous seeming events as the thing that signals the end of the world. I’ve got a calendar at my desk, why doesn’t that calendar trigger the end? Does it even have to be a calendar?

What would motivate a deity to pick an end date for the world, then cause someone to create a cryptic system of  keeping track of the passage of time that accidentally points out that date?

If I were ever able to decide on what date the world would end, I would not tell any Mayans. If you were an Inca, you could just keep doing whatever it is you do, I wouldn’t tell you either. Just keep jamming on your pan flute you pre-Columbian thing, you.

I wouldn’t tell any of you either. You folks just can’t keep a secret.

Also, I would not tie that decision to something really obvious, like a calendar. No, when the world ended based on my decision, it would be very well done. Subtle and classy. People would get together in the afterlife, have a beer and try to figure out what really happened to trigger the cataclysmic end. They’d sit around and review that fateful day and speculate wildly on what happened that indicated that was the day.

It could be anything…maybe both headlights go out on my car at the same time. Perhaps the Baltimore Orioles return to and win the World Series.

You know what? I’m changing my mind. I’m going to tell you. If I were given the power to decide the event that would signal the end of the world, it isn’t going to be a calendar running out, or someones watch stopping. It will be my beloved Baltimore Orioles winning the World Series.

Unless Brooks and Boog come back from the 70s we should be safe. God I miss them.

Unless Brooks and Boog come back from the ’70’s we should be safe. God I miss them.

So, if you’re ever watching baseball, and the announcer says “The Orioles  have  ended their long nightmare by winning the Series “, then the world ends, you will know it was my decision.

Lets face it, the Orioles will never win again. We’re going to live forever, if its my call.

On the other hand, if it does all come to an end that way, you’ll be able to get together with your friends who are trying to figure out how it all ended and say something subtle like…did you see the game last night?


15 Comments on “2012, the end of the world…or maybe it happens when my watch stops.”

  1. Ben Godby says:

    Yesterday I put “possible apocalypse” on my Outlook Calendar for December 21, 22, and 23, 2012. And now, the very next day, here you are blogging about the Mayan Long Count. Holy guacamole!

    Anyway, the sheer coincidence has convinced me: I’ve changed the entry on my calendar to, “certain apocalypse.”


  2. omawarisan says:

    Its the END!!!! Damn Mayan coincidence causing bastards!

  3. frigginloon says:

    Better tell Zapruder to crank up his camera again.Please this time, let the end of the world be caused by someone on the grassy knoll! I couldn’t cope with another friggin conspiracy theory!

  4. omawarisan says:

    Oh no, there is no conspiracy. I am taking full credit for this one. The world ends when Baltimore wins The Series.

    I’m squaring away the movie rights now.

  5. Kathi D says:

    Just let me know if it’s coming soon, so I won’t bother to sort out that closet that’s bothering me. I wouldn’t want to waste my last days with my head in a closet.

  6. frigginloon says:

    So ya think I should skip on the season tickets?

  7. omawarisan says:

    nah, live it up, get tickets. they wont win, ever.

  8. jammer5 says:

    I plan on sittin’ that one out. I think I’m playing golf those days. Either that or making tacos.

  9. tsanda says:

    the end of the world is y2k right?

  10. omawarisan says:

    Crap. I’m already dead? If I am, there are significant portions of my afterlife that are failing to meet expectations.

  11. wickedmoxie says:

    LMAO, I just saw probably one of the cheesiest films on this subject the other day and blogged about it, then rated it with my CheezeWhiz Movie Rating system, you should check it out… love the title of your blog by the way, too funny. Look forward to reading more of your blog and I hope you check mine out as well… 🙂

  12. Lucky Eye says:

    Har har. They thought the world was gonna end in 200, because of the computers. I don’t really know, but we’re fine now. These movies put messages into kids heads. I’m starting to get annoyed.

  13. […] My level of tolerance for end of the world talk was reached. I wrote of how pointless it was for a d… […]

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