It is time for you to go. Really.Posted: October 15, 2009
As those of you who have been stopping by a while know, from time to time, there are people and trends who must be dismissed. Their antics, their constant insertion into our lives has made them tiresome to the point that they must be sent packing.
The first dismissal goes to anyone named Kardashian. Now, I am certain that there is someone who carries that name who is worthy of admiration and attention. If you are that person I am sorry, you are going to have to leave too. I just can’t chance that you’re lying.
To the best of my knowledge, the Kardashians who are alive are famous because they were spawned by an attorney who represented the noted sleuth, OJ Simpson.
Mr. Simpson, you may recall, is famous for searching for his wife’s killer on golf courses all over the country.
Attorney Kardashian passed away a few years ago, and his family subsequently became famous.
The Kardashian daughters apparently date men. Oh and one of them has a huge butt.This is news that the media seems to need to keep me appraised of. The thing is, I know that a lot of women date men. I have no need to be informed about every one that does.
So, since I know of no one with that last name who has contributed positively to society, I am dismissing all people named Kardashian. You may go now. Congratulations on being my largest dismissal yet. Don’t turn to thank me Kardashians, just keep walking.
Vinyl cut out family stickers. You and the people who plaster you on their SUV’s may go now. I just am not interested.
Now I completely understand being proud of one’s family. I get that. If you ask about mine, I’ll tell you.
I won’t, however, force you to stare at them, in stick figure form, on the back window of my car.
Family in the mini van, let me break this down for you. The fact that Skipper is a cheerleader and Chad plays soccer does not affect me. I’ll go so far as to say, I really don’t care thats what they do.
I really like people, even you, mini van family. It’s just, well, I don’t have the time for that level of intimacy at stop lights. One of two things has to happen here. Either you must be dismissed and never again put little stick figure stickers on your windows or I must make time at stop lights to come knock on your window and introduce myself. I’m guessing the knocking on your car window thing would get me pepper sprayed, so I am choosing the former.
Family Stick Figure Stickers and the people who have them – you are all dismissed. Please take the sticker off the Expedition before you drive to the next ballet practice.