Please try harder not to look like the Unibomber.

A few months ago, I wrote about how people made choices regarding their looks which those closest to them really should address. Today, I return to that topic to address a specific choice I saw two men make at the airport last week.

See this in the mirror? Please reconsider.

While waiting for my flight, I saw a man seated nearby wearing a hooded sweatshirt. He sat slumped in a waiting area chair with the hood pulled up. He also wore dark sunglasses. He looked very Unibomberesque.

Unibomberesque is not a look I think people would deliberately pursue. It certainly is not one I want to see boarding my plane.

Since I knew I’d be writing about him I made it my mission to try to get a picture of him. I moved several times to try to get a photo of him. The “I am reading and responding to a text message and not taking your picture” technique did not work out, I couldn’t get close enough to him. I switched to my regular camera but the photo was too blurry using the zoom and no flash.

A woman came and sat with the Unibomber. Didn’t she see what I saw? Why wasn’t she saying anything? I think “baby, you’re looking far too Kaczynski” would have been appropriate.

A second man, also wearing a sweatshirt and sunglasses came and sat in the waiting area a few seats over from the first Unibomber. Two Unibombers on my flight. Great.

Unibomber two didn’t have a girlfriend. I’d guess he had a mirror back home though. Unibomber two, self assessment can be important.

Put your seat back up, I'm trying to write about you.

Both Unibombers boarded after I did. Unibomber two sat directly in front of me. Where else would he sit? He leaned the seat back during the flight, which I think is not really cool just in general, but is especially uncool when the guy behind you is trying to draft a blog post about you on the back of his e-ticket printout.

Each of us would tell a friend who had a piece of lettuce stuck to their teeth. I’d tell you if your fly was open. You’d tell me if I grabbed two different shoes while I was getting dressed this morning. When we do things like that for each other, we’re appreciative for the help. We feel good for having given that help and for protecting our friends from needless embarrassment.

I am asking each of you to add a check for Kaczynskiness or Unibomberesqueness whenever you look at your friends or family members. Please be especially vigilant on this with people going to the airport.

Thanks for your consideration on this important manner.


9 Comments on “Please try harder not to look like the Unibomber.”

  1. davis says:

    VERY funny post, to which I can very much relate. I’m thinking these guys may be into counter-fashion, in which you TRY to look bad or menacing or otherwise repulsive.

    Thanks! It wasn’t working for them.

  2. shoutabyss says:

    The Unibomber is a classic fashion statement that’s making a comeback. You might say it’s the bomb.

    Are you sure it wasn’t Phil Laak and Jennifer Tilly? 🙂

    I don’t know much about poker, but I get that you wear sunglasses to cover your eyes so they don’t give you away. What does covering his ears get him?

  3. queensgirl says:

    On the topic of people you don’t want to resemble, I saw a Rod Blagojevich doppelganger a couple of weeks ago.

    Now there is someone who needs a hooded sweatshirt.

  4. Tony says:

    There was a segment on a local current affair show about this look sometime ago. They said the “Hoodie” had almost become the official uniform of troublemakers in youth circles. I guess a bomb comes into the troublemakers category

    That is very true here. They even make then such that you can zip the hood completely over your face, with pre cut eyeholes.

  5. Tony says:

    Forgot to say that I find the “How do you get a photo of someone for a blog post without them realising your taking their photo” a real difficulty at times. It’s even more obvious when I’ve forgot to turn my spycam/phone sound effect off & it goes click really loudly, kind of a dead give away

    It is always easier with an accomplice. You can put them near the true subject and pretend to take their picture. I was traveling sans accomplice until I arrived in Florida.

  6. Kathi D says:

    I don’t mind the unibomber look so much, as long as they don’t smell. Also, I would appreciate the hood on the passenger in front of me who insists on leaning back the seat. I usually get some dame with 32-inch long stringy hair dangling onto my tray table.

  7. Kathi D says:

    But really, why do the airlines even make seats that lean back? There’s never enough room, but I can’t really justify asking the person in front not to lean it back, since it’s made to lean back. Of course, then to have any room at all, I have to lean my seat back. So the frontmost person ruins it for everyone.

    I don’t know why they bother. It isn’t like it makes a big difference to the person who is leaning back. Leaning the seat back is appealing to 8 year olds and unibombers.

  8. Yes, but the question is, did either Unibomber have the sweet porn-stache?

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