It is just a pickle…or is it?

Put it in the bag, or don't. I don't want to talk about it.

Periodically, I grab a sandwich for lunch at a place near where I work. It isn’t too near where I work. I think we’ve established that I work in an odd and unpleasant area of town.

When I order, the routine is pretty typical. I ask for what I’d like, they make it. As they wrap my sandwich, they always ask me the same question – “would you like a complimentary pickle?” The sentence may vary slightly, but the element of “complimentary pickle” always remains the same, no matter the employee. It is so weird.

Look, it is just a pickle spear. A garnish. It really isn’t going to change my life. It isn’t going to cost the restaurant a great deal. I wish they’d just toss it in the bag and save us all the conversation about it.

Still, the complimentary pickle concept is interesting. A concept that, I believe, could drive that shops revenue through the roof.

What is the likelihood of me returning to that place if I unwrap my complimentary pickle and hearing it say “Omawarisan, blue is definitely your color.” ? I’d say pretty darn good. What if you unwrapped your pickle and it said “I heard what you said earlier and I can’t imagine it being expressed any better than that.”

The complimentary pickle concept could be the wave of the future in the food service industry. Fortune cookies would be so yesterday. When a truly complimentary pickle becomes practical, I hope the industry as a whole will embrace the idea. Couldn’t we all use a lift, even if it smells of vinegar and dill?

Until that day comes, you are looking sharp today. Did you do something different with your hair?


9 Comments on “It is just a pickle…or is it?”

  1. shoutabyss says:

    I think I would have replied, “What do you mean? Are you telling me that if I order a friggin’ sandwich from you that the pickle isn’t already included? What kind of fly-by-night outfit is this, anyway?”

    The pickle is not “complimentary.” It’s yours for buying a sandwich from them. They just want you to walk away whistling a tune and thinking to yourself, “They love me, they really love me. They gave me a FREE pickle. I just made out like a bandit!”

    The question actually offends me a little. It’s an insult to my intelligence that they think such a cheap ass ploy will work on me.

    So, that’s a no, right? No complimentary pickle for you? Oh well, always nice to hear from you anyhow.

  2. Kate says:

    I’m not sure I could keep a straight face if I was often offered a complimentary pickle. My mind goes straight to the gutter. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Yeah, the pickle has so many dimensions!

  3. Carl Vine says:

    I don’t want a pickle
    Just want to ride my motorsickle

    Should have felt that one coming!

  4. Kathi D says:

    I would prefer a complimentary Hershey bar.

    A complimentary Hershey bar would be so much smoother and believable than a pickle. I think pickles are so Eddie Haskell.

  5. shoutabyss says:

    Kate! My goodness! Oh no you didn’t!


    She did. I support gutter thinking!

  6. Kate says:

    Oh yes I did! Two snaps and a circle!

    Oma, thanks for your support. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  7. shoutabyss says:

    Thanks. Now I can’t stop thinking about pickles.

  8. Counter Culture Clown says:

    Of course, it’s me again with the answer. I’m always the vast supplier of knowledge.

    Where do they go when they are not housing random piles of decorative food?

    Easy. They shrink. And become scrumptious Bugles:

    Oh man, thats where they go! And they should stay there.

  9. Counter Culture Clown says:

    Well fuck me sideways, that posted in the wrong blog.

    Please apply that to the later blog about cornucopia and all that.

    Also: Pickles smell funny.

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