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An interview with Chupacabra

Chupacabra, The Goat Sucker.

Since I began interviewing the legendary creatures of the world, one name kept coming up from readers as the one they wanted to hear from – Chupacabra.

My staff tried to arrange an interview with Chupacabra, also known as The Goat Sucker, last month. Unfortunately, The Goat Sucker had other commitments. This month, Chupacabra kept his word and got in touch with me to talk. His mood was up beat when we spoke. I found him really easy to talk to.

Omawarisan – Chupacabra, thanks for calling back. I understand you were pretty busy last month. It must be a good time to be Chupacabra if you’re that busy.

Chupacabra – It sure is! I was working on the finishing touches of my new CD. I’m really proud of how it came out.

O – A CD? I had no idea you were a musician.

C– Actually, I have been performing for years. I paid my dues in a lot of bars, small theaters and coffee houses.

O – Tell me about your music

Just rolled over in his grave.

C– I’m a solo artist. I sing and accompany myself on xylophone. I put out my first CD a few years ago. It is called “The Goat Sucker does Sinatra.” It is just me and my xylophone in a tribute piece to Frank. It didn’t sell well in the States, but I’m big in Japan. Like Hasslehoff in Germany big.

O– I’m surprised that didn’t sell well here in the US. What happened?

C– Mostly I think it is just a result of people’s confusion. They know how to react when they see a guy playing a guitar and singing. When the

I'm pretty sure Chupacabra is first to play this and sing.

lights go down and the spotlight hits Chupacabra playing a xylophone and singing “My Way” they aren’t so sure. Let me change that, because the Japanese completely get into it. Guess its a cultural thing.

O – That probably has led to some difficult performances.

C– I was booked to open several shows on the Van Halen Reunion Tour. My first show was in D.C.. This big bald guy in a camouflage cap just gave me hell. My people got him tossed out, but it was too late. I got dropped from the tour. I went and did a few gigs in Japan. I also sat in with Tokyo Ska Paradise Orchestra while I was over there. I love those guys.

O – So what can we expect from the new CD?

C– It is a new direction for me. I like scat singing, you know, like the old jazz records? So I did an all scat CD. It is going to be called “I don’t know what it means either.”

O – The whole CD is scat singing? There are no words?

C– All scat singing! Isn’t it great? And dig, it is a capella. No instrumental accompaniment whatsoever. Just…(note: Chupacabra did some scat singing at this point. There is no real way to write that down.)…great, right?

O – Yeah. Good luck with that. Let me ask a few quick questions about some

Know your goat. Never let anyone get your goat.

other things. First, tell me about the killing goats thing.

C– It is just a preference. Some people are vegetarians. I consider myself goatinivorous. Goat is the other, other white meat.

O – Your fans must have had quite a scare with that woman who claimed to have found your body earlier this year. your reaction?

C – Dead dog and a can of Nair does not equal Chupacabra. I’m alive and well. it kind of upsets me though. It scared my mom, and a large portion of Japan.

O – What’s next for Chupacabra?

C – After my concert tour for this CD, I’m going back to recording. I want to do a rap CD. I’m going to call it “Da Goat Sucka.”

Also, my agent and I are trying to get me into acting. We’re pitching a movie script to Lifetime Television.

O – Really, what is the movie about?

C – What are all their movies about? A woman defending her home and kids. We’ll probably make her single. I play the lawyer that helps her…

O – …she thinks you are a jerk, but she figures out she loves you?

C – Exactly. It is Lifetime, you have to touch those bases.

O – Any last thoughts to wrap it up?

C–  Hope to see all my fans on the concert tour. I won’t forget my old fans, I will still be mixing in some of my xylophone  Sinatra work so the show won’t be all new stuff. Oh and to my Japanese fans, Konnichiwa to all y’all. Chupacabra loves you and will be back soon!

That wraps it up. Chupacabra wanted me help dispel the rumors that his work will only be available at Wal-Mart. He says he would never sink low enough to give them that kind of deal. The new CD, “I Don’t Know What It Means Either” will be available through the same music stores and online retailers as “The Goat Sucker Does Sinatra”.

The Blurt staff is already looking for the next interview subject. Those interns really work hard for me. I should feed them, shouldn’t I?

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6 Comments on “An interview with Chupacabra”

  1. Counter Culture Clown says:

    Not gonna lie, all I saw was “Goat Sucker”.

    Yeah, that is an attention getter. Imagine what it must have been like going through junior high with that name.

  2. shoutabyss says:

    LOL!

    I’m not sure what the hell is being lampooned here but I thought this was funny as shit. I read the whole thing! Looking forward to more interviews but I’m still having a bit of trouble locating the centerfold.

    Thank you. I’m keeping them at one per month right now, but might up them. If nothing else, I don’t struggle trying to figure out what I’m going to write when it is interview time.

  3. Kathi D says:

    It was totally unfair that Chupacabra’s duet with Ozzy Osbourne got cut from the 25th Anniversary Rock n Roll Hall of Fame show. I’m pretty sure it was Ozzy’s fault.

    Chupacabra was upset about that. He also had a piece from Springsteen’s Devils and Dust CD he was ready with but never got to perform it.

  4. queensgirl says:

    Oma, your dedication to letting the voices of the mythical be heard, even in the face of your own pain, is admirable.

    Sometimes you’ve got to sacrifice to do the right thing. Also, I’m counting on backstage passes when the Chupacabra A Capella tour hits town. Have your people call my people when they announce ticket sales up your way and I’ll make a call for you.

  5. frigginloon says:

    I can’t believe you didn’t include the famous Chupacabra song. It’s a classic, trust me. You won’t be able to get the song your of your head 🙂

    This song was on the list of things Chupacabra wouldn’t talk about. He apparently finds it very offensive.


  6. Keli says:

    I made the grave error of listening to the acclaimed Chupacabra song, and like Frigginloon warned, it is now officially stuck in my head.
    I hear the X-files actually dedicated a whole show to Chupa. I’m sure he was thrilled yet miffed at the same time for being overlooked as an Emmy nominee. Oh well. Cary Grant never won an Oscar.

    Oh dear God. That damned thing can only be removed through hypnosis.


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