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The Policies of my administration – Words and Punctuation.

Policy announcement time!

As many of you now understand, I will be taking over when the time is right. These announcements are part of the preparation for that eventuality.

When I take over, my Minister of Semantics will be charged with several important rules that I will lay out for you in this post. Additionally, the Minister will be expected to further develop and enforce the linguistic policies of my administration. With that in mind, here are some of the  policies of the Omawarisan administration in that arena.

Quotation Marks – By the third grade everyone in the United States was taught that quotation marks are used to indicate that a particular person said the words contained between the quotation marks. They are not intended to add emphasis to a word or phrase. For example:

  • Wrong – Using a toaster while bathing may lead to “electrocution.”
  • Right – Omawarisan said “people who misuse quotation marks should be electrocuted.”

Make your third grade teacher proud. Use quotation marks appropriately.

Adding a Z does not make a word plural or cooler – I think this policy explains itself, don’t you? If you’re doing it, stop it.

  • Wrong – Omawarisanz policiez are well thought out.
  • Right – Omawarisan’s policies are brilliant.

No more adding a Z. It is the last letter for a reason. Leave it alone.

No changing the spelling and/or meaning of a word. Words just don’t show up overnight.  Real words are not created simply because the idea sounds or looks cool to people with limited grasp of the language.

Pwned is not a word. Phat is not a word.

They will find you. They can't do anything else dressed like this.

The Minister of Semantics will have detectives on staff to track down people who inappropriately deem changes to the spellings and definitions of words are appropriate. Justice will be swift.

It is important that we all understand one another. It doesn’t help when our society tolerates the reconstruction of our language by people who are clearly not competent to do so.

The Omawarisan administration will usher in an era of domestic tranquility by eliminating linguistic and punctuation foolishness.

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19 Comments on “The Policies of my administration – Words and Punctuation.”

  1. Counter Culture Clown says:

    They aren’t used for emphasis, they’re used to aid in sarcasm. And sarcastic aids is fantastic.

    Is sarcastic aids the next step of sarcastic hiv? >_>

  2. Counter Culture Clown says:

    Or is it AIDz. I forget…

  3. Kate says:

    My seventh grade teacher of English (she frowned upon the use of “English teacher” as it indicates she is British, which she is not) would disagree with your ideas about word creation. In fact, she encouraged me and the rest of her students to come up with new words, particularly ones whose definitions would be understood immediately given their context. It is part of the great beauty of our language — it lends itself to making up new words and phrases in a way that many other languages do not. Also, I think many words are created and/or used by people who have far more than a limited grasp of the language. I’m a writer and editor and have been for many years. I’ve found that people in the same line of work tend to make up words a lot because it’s fun, because it’s interesting and because sometimes those words make life easier. For instance, it’s faster for me to say, “I googled the number of women with whom Tiger did the nasty” as opposed to “I went to Google.com and searched for the number of women with whom Tiger did the nasty.”

    I think maybe I took you a bit too literally, but this kind of thing is fascinating to me and close to my heart.

    Also? I do like to add a “Z” to the end of my words every now and again. It’s fun! For realz. 😉

  4. omawarisan says:

    I have no idea why the Z thing gets me. It is a little thing, but it just does.

    Apparently the shorter result list comes from asking The Google which women Tiger have not yet come out and pwned him on some news show.

  5. linlah says:

    You totally pwned that and “I’m not sure of what you’re talking about with the quotes” but I’ll be on the look outz for that kind of stuff.

  6. queensgirl says:

    My application for the Minister of Semantics position will be on your desk shortly. I believe you already have some familiarity with my resume. 🙂

  7. omawarisan says:

    Lin, I did totally pwn that, didn’t I? I’d also like to point out that between your message and mine, we have almost completely conjugated the verb to pwn. Pwn, pwned, pwning!

    QG, I’d already taken the liberty of having my staff start the vetting process on you. Your work in this field has been ground breaking.

  8. queensgirl says:

    I am most flattered.

  9. queensgirl says:

    I just wanted to add this: if I am appointed, I will do everything in my power to put an end to the plague known as the unnecessary apostrophe.

  10. Kathi D says:

    Dewd! That suckz! You done been pwned!

  11. Kathi D says:

    Its time this blog found it’s way!

    I “never” stop!

  12. omawarisan says:

    QG, I just realized that being in charge means I don’t have to get you approved. That whole vetting thing was unneeded. Interesting, but not needed.

    Kathi – done been?!? Nicely done ma’am! That whole living in California thing is a fib, isn’t it? You’re from NC.

  13. planetross says:

    I may have to smarten up with the quotation marks usage.
    … as for the changing the meaning of a word, I’m with you. … using all the meanings of a word at the same time is okay though, isn’t it?

  14. queensgirl says:

    Thanks, Oma! (I know in the spirit of the post I should say, “Thank’z “Oma,”” but…I can’t. I just can’t.

  15. Karen says:

    I’m new here, but I think I love you, each and every one, from the bottom of my former English teacher . . . er, uh . . . teacher of English . . .er, uh . . . fight-breaker-upper, spitball-target heart.

    May I also testify to the apostrophe issue? Once in awhile as a typo or minor error, it’s no problem. Several people in my workplace, including my immediate “supervisor,” (sorry, that just screams for sarcastic emphasis) get its/it’s wrong probably 95% of the time. (Don’t hold me to that percentage. I’m not a math major.) At least once weekly, disgusted by the latest infraction,I transform into Walter Mitty, submit a most apostrophe-violating resignation letter and storm out of there in grammatical indignation.

    Looking back at all that, I hope the administration’s policies on parentheses, ellipses, and hyphens aren’t too strict. Hate to be banished so soon upon arrival.

  16. omawarisan says:

    Nah, it is pretty hard to get banished from here. Sure, its been done, but it takes a special kind of person.

    Amazing how many people get promoted when they’re completely incapable of the simplest bits of writing.

  17. I would change putting the period inside the quotation marks to outside the quotation marks. The sentence ends after the quotation mark not before. One slogan for my administration will be “You know they’re stealing. When I get in, you won’t know nothin” And when did the word conflicted become and adj or past tense verb? Or a word at all?

    • omawarisan says:

      Welcome Carl, and thank you, I battle the quotation mark/period dilemma all the time. I’ll add that to my policy.

      I think conflicted became an adjective when partner became a verb.


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