Waiting for the cable guy / delivery guy.

A post on a friends blog got me to thinking. Exactly how long do delivery and cable people work each day and why are we always waiting for them?

Over the course of my adult life, I have been told by cable providers and companies who do large deliveries (like appliances and furniture) that their people would be by within a certain time range. Typically the time ranges are something like between 8-12 or 1-4.

Where the hell have you two been?

The thing is, I have never had a delivery arrive at eight. I’ve never had a cable guy pull into my driveway at one. In over twenty five years of living under my own roof, it would seem that at some point I would have had to be first on someone’s list, right?  I’ll go as far as to say I don’t know anyone who has had that kind of luck. No one has ever called me and said “I thought I was going to be waiting for the cable guy until 4, he showed up at 1. Let’s go hang out.”

So, if we aren’t seeing the cable or delivery guys at 8 am or 1 pm, where are they?

I don’t know. I think there are possibly cable/delivery guy recreation centers that the rest of us don’t know about. Now that I think about it, I think that is the only logical explanation.

Going to work, sitting in the warehouse, then running out to drop off one couch before going to lunch does not make sense. Going to work, leaving the warehouse immediately and spending the next three hours with your friends having fun, then delivering the couch makes a lot of sense and accounts for them not showing up until right before lunch.

Dude, stop talking to her and shoot, I've got a DVR to install by 4.

I’m pretty sure the cable/delivery recreation centers are pretty nice places. When I get a big delivery, the people carrying the stuff in are always friendly. They are quick with a joke, very efficient and seem to be having a good time.

When I bought a new fridge not long ago the delivery guys were great. If I hadn’t emptied the fridge in the foolishly optimistic hope that they would be there right at noon we could have hung out and had a beer. When did they arrive? At four, fresh from the rec center. The beer was warm by then.

I’m pretty confident the discerning reader will see what we have all not been able to see until now. The only thing we’re missing at this point is the location of one of these rec centers. I don’t know what they look like but there will be  a lot of cable vans and large delivery trucks from appliance and furniture stores. I don’t expect that we’d find trucks from the Postal Service, UPS, FedEx at one of these places; you never see those folks stop moving. Please keep your eyes open and report what you find.

I don’t think we’ll change things. In the end, we should probably just leave things as they are. Who are we to mess up a good thing for some hard working people? I just want to be able to answer my self when I wonder aloud – “where the hell are they?”


13 Comments on “Waiting for the cable guy / delivery guy.”

  1. queensgirl says:

    I am glad that I was able to serve as inspiration for a post. Now you have inspired me to ask this: if the rec center scenario is indeed true– and I see no reason why it wouldn’t be– who delivers the TVs and such to the rec centers?

  2. omawarisan says:

    I am all over that. The TVs are deliveries where the people got tired of waiting and left the house. The rec centers always have the latest stuff, really nice furniture and every channel on cable.

  3. linlah says:

    My apologies but I’m one of those people who is the first person on the cable/delivery guys list. It’s a fantastic place to be.

  4. omawarisan says:

    Oh man…you’re the one?!? That must be like having 28 hours in a day.

  5. KathiD says:

    Just THIS VERY MORNING I was discussing with a neighbor about the mail delivery. I have never once lived in a place where we got mail at 8 or 9 a.m. Since mail delivery starts first thing in the morning, surely someone gets mail before 3 p.m. But it has never been me.

    My 1-4 p.m. delivery people invariably come at 4:22, after I have called three times to make sure they are coming and have been reassured each time that they are “on the way right now.”

  6. Counter Culture Clown says:

    The truth is: There are no cable guys. It’s all an illusion. >_>

  7. tsanda says:

    im pretty sure that they do actually only deliver stuff between 2-4…they spend the rest of the time watching our new TV’s and sleeping on the new couch. Least thats how I would do it

  8. omawarisan says:

    Kathi, they are shooting pool. They will be there at 4:22. You can’t rush relaxation.

  9. queensgirl says:

    I knew I could count on you having an answer to my question!

  10. sekanblogger says:

    Well, they don’t wanna get back to the store too damned quick.
    If they do, they’ll just hafta carry more heavy crap all over friggin town.

  11. Kate says:

    They’re probably napping. A former roommate of my husband’s used to deliver mail for the USPS. He got all his deliveries done in the first four hours of his shift and spent the other four hours sleeping in the back of his truck. I kind of wish he’d worked our route when we lived in Chicago — I can’t tell you the number of times I came home at 6 p.m. and the mail hadn’t been delivered yet.

  12. omawarisan says:

    You see…all these things prove the existence of the delivery guy rec centers! Its like when they proved there are black holes without actually seeing one, using math … except I am numerically illiterate.

    Don’t want to go back to the store too soon? You can’t just drive around. Go to the rec center.

    Need a nap? Some primo couches at the rec center.

  13. Keli says:

    Consider yourself lucky. My so-called cable guy doesn’t like to be boxed into the time ranges you suggest. Mine says he’ll show between 8-5. He gets there right about 5:20. I’ve finally learned how to handle him. I go to my own rec center, hang ’til about 5, and then we both arrive at about the same time. It’s the only way. So far, we haven’t run into each other at any rec centers.

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