Random stuff from a grocery run.Posted: January 23, 2010
One of the things on the list for today’s grocery run is a can of baby corn. The presence of the baby corn on the list brings up the debate of whether baby corn truly is the start of full-grown corn, or a completely separate species.
The debate ends here. It is just regular corn, harvested very early. It is like the veal of corn. For those of you considering starting a baby corn farm, you can expect to harvest about 8500 pounds of unhusked baby corn ears per acre.
There was no baby corn available today. Every brand that there was shelf space for was sold out. How does that happen? What does this mean for society as a whole? I don’t know.
I’m in line to pay for the stuff on the grocery list, minus baby corn. A gossip magazine headline blares ” Jessica Simpson, New Year, New Boobs.” I guess we all have our resolutions.
I’m not sure I am going to go down the same path as Jessica this year. This makes forty-eight times in a row I have not done the same thing as her. That isn’t to say that I’ve never been seen out with a bunch of boobs, but those guys are my buddies and I don’t think I’m going to change any of them out.
The die is apparently cast for Jessica this year, it is the year of boobs. I’m going to make a couple suggestions for next year. First, I would suggest that she look into becoming talented. There is only so much silicone one can carry around. She’s going to need something more to base her career on.
The other thing I’d suggest is getting a dog that can kick a coyote’s ass. Perhaps a Red Wolf would be a good choice.
Another magazine talks about Jennifer Aniston having a “revenge body.”
I like the idea of having a revenge body. I’m pretty low-key, but it might be nice to have a separate body to go out and do my dirty work when someone really gets under my skin. I like the idea so much that I commissioned an artist to create a depiction of my revenge body at work. By commissioned an artist, I mean found on the net.
I’ll have to get in touch with Jennifer and find out if her revenge body has different fingerprints and DNA than she does.
When I left the grocery, I rode the grocery cart downhill through the lot to my car. It is just as fun in middle age as it was at eight years old. Sometimes the school boy heart wants to come out. I’m inclined to let it.
Of course there’s the whole “what if I break a hip” thought that comes to mind when I get going really fast.
Maybe that is part of the thrill.