The Policies of my Administration: Cover songs. (Don Ho rocks!)Posted: February 2, 2010
I love music. I have a complete lack of talent in that area. To paraphrase a line from a song by Little Feat, I couldn’t carry a tune in a bag.
Because I love and respect what musicians do, one of the policies of my administration will be the creation of the Cover Song Approval Board. As you probably know, a cover song is a re-recording of a song by an artist other than the one who originally recorded or made it famous. Some covers are really good. Others are really shameful. Shamefulness will not be tolerated by my administration.
Let me explain how this would work. Suppose I had a band and we recorded an album. Now imagine one of the songs we chose to put on this collection is the Bruce Springsteen classic, Rosalita. We would be free to record the song in accordance with copyright laws, etc. Before the album could be sold, since it has a cover song on it, would have to be submitted to the Board for approval. Should the board like my band’s version of Rosalita, the album could be sold as is. Consumers could buy the album, knowing it is free from lame cover songs.
Let’s suppose the board does not approve. Not only would the offending song have to be removed from the album, but as a penalty for creating a distasteful remake of a classic song, the song the board could also remove the song they think is the next best from the album.
In the interest of full disclosure, this is not a fair example. No one would ever be allowed to cover Rosalita during my administration.
Now, some would complain that this impinges on artistic expression. Some might even say it smacks of censorship.
I say look at this:
Now what do you think? Hmm??? Not enough? Ok.
Look at this:
So, are you ready to agree that this is an important and vital part of policy for any well meaning ruler of the world? No?
I didn’t want to have to go this far.
Let me remind you of this-
I could go on, but my administration will adhere to the Geneva Convention. There will be no torture while I am in office.
Some of you are saying to yourselves it seems as if I am opposed to any cover songs whatsoever. This is not the case. It just seemed easiest to make the case using examples of what should never have happened and what could not happen during my administration.
Behold Don Ho’s cover of Peter Gabriel’s Shock the Monkey.
Would it be approved under my administration? Unquestionably.
Take some time, think about all the songs that never should have been.
I think you’ll see it my way.