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Larry King getting divorced. What was he doing married?

In an earlier post, I pointed out the resemblance between talk show host Larry King and the stereotypical version of a space alien.

For your consideration on that point, I give you pictures of both Larry King and an alien. You decide:

Alien

Larry

Giant forehead? Check.

Wrinkly brow? Check.

Disturbing eyes? Check.

Triangular face? Check.

I think we can agree, based on the evidence presented here, to question if Larry King is native to the planet Earth.

Now we come to the question at hand. Larry King is getting divorced. To get a divorce, someone has to be married. Someone…or some-alien. Why are women marrying this possibly spaceman?

Let us discuss this further. Larry King is getting divorced for the eighth time, from his seventh wife – one woman married and was divorced from the spacemanish one twice. Seven women married Larry King. Look at Larry. Why have seven women married him?

What is wrong with this picture? Everything.

Here is Larry and his current future ex wife.

Why?

How?

There are children?

On a chromosomal level, how could this allegedly interstellar union produce offspring?

Women of earth, please, hear me on this. Larry may already be out there on the prowl again. Seven women have fallen prey to this strange, possibly alien, man. Wait, let me amend that…seven and a half.

Protect yourself. Do not look at him, if you must, do it through a paper plate with a hole in it. Be aware if he were an alien, he could be using some sort of ray gun to draw your attention. A ray gun is the only possible explanation.

Wear sunglasses in case you run across him in your day to day travels.

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29 Comments on “Larry King getting divorced. What was he doing married?”

  1. Roger's Place says:

    Good Question…Good Advice!

  2. Karen says:

    It’s so cute that you are confused as to what interest beautiful young women have in famous, rich old guys. You have indeed been away from DC for too long.:-)

    Aside from the Benjamins,or as one of my acquaintances would say, “how high he sits on his wallet,” you can’t overlook the appeal of a good conversationalist. It is, after all, what he does for a living. “Let’s talk about you, your life, your dreams, your accomplishments, how none of your faults are really your fault….”

    And then there’s the sexy suspenders. Who could resist???

    • omawarisan says:

      Oh yeah, I miss DC and its special brand of cynicism. I even miss the humidity.

      I get the idea of them attatching themselves to money and power. But then I close my eyes and think of myself doing the equivalent and get all nauseous. How do they manage the whole reflux thing?

      Put your sunglasses on.

      • Pie says:

        How do they manage the reflux thing? If you have a strong goal, you can push yourself to do and endure almost anything. I think he could have a role in a David Lynch film if he ever retired. It’s not like he needs to be human or anything.

        • omawarisan says:

          David Lynch…hmmm…an alien cones to earth gets media access to the population and begins populating the earth with his offspring.

          Truth is stranger than fiction…Twain.

  3. Pie says:

    By the way, how many times married?!! Eight (OK, seven and a half)? Did he and Elizabeth Taylor make a secret childhood bet?

  4. Pauline says:

    Please tell me there isn’t a sex tape out there somewhere! *shudders*

  5. wordofabe says:

    One can only hope to be half as attractive and desirable as Mr. King at the ripe old age of 132.

    My vote is for spaceman. In fact, from the picture you posted, I believe that early in his career he had a starring role in a little movie co-starring Drew Barrymore! The world was still not ready to accept the truth about aliens, so he put on some glasses, some hair, and those terrible suspenders. Brilliant disguise!

  6. shoutabyss says:

    Can you picture those two making out?

  7. KathiD says:

    Oh yeah, he is HAWT. Not only married 8 times, but cheating with the wife’s twin sister.

    I can barely resist flying down to L.A. and hanging out in Nate and Al’s until he shows up, so I can try for number 9.

  8. Keli says:

    I’ve been distressed for days, not over the fact of Larry’s divorce, but that women allegedly find him “sexy.” No mention was made in the report that I read of his pocketbook. I was about to seek therapy when I came across your post. Now I understand. Fortunately, I own several pairs of sunglasses, although I believe immunity runs in my genes. My sister came across Larry a few years ago, and successfully extricated herself.

    • omawarisan says:

      I’m glad you are well prepared for the onslaught that is Larry on the prowl. Someone will take the bait.

      As an extra measure of added safety, I recommend keeping two paper plates at hand at all times. If Larry approaches, poke a hole in one and look at his projected image on the other plate held behind the punctured plate.

  9. jammer5 says:

    It’s my understanding his drool can get both men and women preggers.

  10. Karen says:

    From an article on timesonlineuk. Could this mean that omawarisan is actually Stephen Hawking????

    “THE aliens are out there and Earth had better watch out, at least according to Stephen Hawking. He has suggested that extraterrestrials are almost certain to exist — but that instead of seeking them out, humanity should be doing all it that can to avoid any contact.. . .”

  11. […] I explained my theory that he might be from another planet.  […]

  12. […] together in groups of five to read this. If you are short on people, feel free to bring the dog, Larry King, or any other animal you happen to see wandering by, into your group. Note that you’ll have […]

  13. […] long ago, I wrote of the folly of having oneself frozen. In the more distant past, I have written of the alien we call Larry King. Last week, Larry King revealed that he wanted to be frozen and brought back when medical science […]


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