Iceland’s Flaming Ash Hole.

Dear Iceland,

This volcano hasn't erupted in 200 years. That gave Iceland time to put a glacier on top of it and name the glacier Eyjafjallajokull

When I heard you had a volcano erupting under a glacier I had  mixed feelings.

Part of me thought about how completely ingenious it was to put the glacier over the volcano so when the volcano erupted, the glacier would melt into it and put it out.

What wonderful strategic placement of natural features. Unfortunately, I guess that isn’t working out as planned and there is some flooding happening.

Once the floods started, another part of me thought…wait, lets step away from this parts of me thing. This is the same part, at different times. Anyhow, on further review, I thought it was really poor planning to put the glacier over the volcano.

Volcanos are bad. Flooding is bad. You know whats worse than flooding, Iceland? Yes I’m sure you’ve figured it out by now, being flooded with hot water. I want no part of that, I’m sorry you’ve got that on your plate. It would seem like the whole volcano thing would be enough for any one country.

Here in the US, we have this guy, Pat Robertson. He is kind of an ass. Usually, when things break bad for some people, Pat, or one of his ilk pipes up and makes it some sort of wrath of God thing. Eventually, he is not going to be able to resist the lure of your current situation and he will make a proclamation about some moral issue being related to the eruption. On behalf of the rest of us to the east of you, I am sorry. We don’t all feel that way. For what it’s worth, he is an ass to everyone, not just you.

I’ve also pointed out the folly of your glacier / volcano tandem. Please accept that as a tongue in cheek nod from someone who recognizes we all have our turn in the natural disaster spotlight. We both know that my country has built cities in flood plains and on fault lines. It doesn’t really absolve us from having to rebuild them when things go bad, but if we’d have just thought a little past the fact that those would be pretty places to build towns we might have avoided some issues now and again.

To my friends and readers in Europe, who are inundated with what Iceland’s Flaming Ash Hole is spewing, I feel badly for you. I hope things clear up for you soon. You’ve not put a glacier on top of a volcano, major metropolis’ on top of fault lines or, made a choice as I have – to live in a county with nuclear plants at its northern and southern boundaries. Your greatest sin has been being down wind. The wind brings it, the wind will take it away. Keep your windows closed.

Best of luck to all of you. We’re thinking about you. Be safe, I’m hoping things clear up for you soon.



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22 Comments on “Iceland’s Flaming Ash Hole.”

  1. Betty says:

    I’ll have whatever you’re smokin’ Omawarisan.

  2. wordofabe says:

    Let this be a lesson to us in the States–do not allow glacier formation over large ash holes! Here in Oregon, we are completely safe. The nearest volcano from my home is over 70 miles away, and even though it was one of the largest volcanos to ever blow in the history of the entire world, in so doing, it created Crater Lake–the deepest lake in the US. So, if she blows again, the water will put it out, just like…oh. We’re screwed.

  3. spencercourt says:

    > Pat Robertson…will make a proclamation about some moral > issue being related to the eruption.

    I think the symbolism is there….the volcanic eruption is the physical world’s manifestation of the what happened to Iceland’s financial world. I believe they were whacked even worse than the U.S.

    Just what the moral issue is I must defer to Mr.Robertson since I do not have direct conversations with God as he does. But obviously, Satan is involved when a volcano erupts. That is Satan’s sphere….

    • omawarisan says:

      Yeah, it is hard to think of what Iceland’s deal with the devil will be announced as if you don’t have that connection. It is a matter of time before he puts it out there for us all.

      • Karen says:

        From CIA’s World Factbook entry on Iceland: ” . . .Limited home rule from Denmark was granted in 1874 and complete independence attained in 1944. Literacy, longevity, and social cohesion are first-rate by world standards.”

        Call me a cynical girl (which will only inspire me to continue my Marshall Crenshaw listening spree), but I see two possibilities here:

        A. Although I wasn’t around from 1874 to 1944, I’ve heard a little bit about the latter range of that period. I don’t recall hearing about a bloody war for independence between Iceland and Denmark. PR doesn’t seem to be the kind who enjoys a nice, peaceful transfer of power; and

        B. He may have the inside scoop on deals with Satan that result in longevity…plus literacy and social cohesion are natural enemies of the Robertson empire.

        I would like to absolve myself of responsibility for the inherent meanness of the preceding comments. They were generated under medically enhanced conditions – transitioning from Nyquil to Dayquil. I’m posting anyway.

  4. Karen says:

    P.S. I forgot to add my support — yes indeed — Hang in there Iceland!!

  5. shoutabyss says:

    “… glacier / volcano tandem …”

    I prefer the term “pairing” and I’ll have the Icelandic cod with that, please.

  6. KathiD says:

    Now see, a part of me was wondering what Iceland did to piss God off.

  7. linlah says:

    I like the glacier/volcano theory too bad it didn’t work.

  8. Pie says:

    Ah, Pat Robertson. The fount of all spiritual knowledge. I will bow down to his uncanny insight, as only he knew the truth of why the Haitians were shaken up like fake snow in a snowglobe earlier this year. As far as I know, the residents of Iceland are doing OK, all things considered. I should try and find out from my Icelandic friend through Faceache.. err, Facebook.

    Here in Blighty, all flights have been grounded since Thursday when the ash hit the skies and we’ve not been able to either leave the country or return. The pictures of the volcanic eruption are fantastic, but I wouldn’t want to have been anywhere near it. I was close to erupting geysers when I visited Reykjavík in 2005 and that was more than enough excitement for me.

    • omawarisan says:

      Glad you’re ok. The only coverage we’re seeing over here on Britain and the rest of Europe is pictures of people sitting in airports.

      Pass on when you hear from your Icelandic Facebook friend. I don’t have any Icelanders on Facebook. It is a sad deficiency. I blame society.

  9. Counter Culture Clown says:

    The source of those damn Icebergs that keep hounding New Zealand, perhaps:

  10. frigginloon says:

    All I can say is thank god no red head kid got hit with a flying gas cloud! Like the world needs another meteorite boy!!!

  11. […] and glaciers. Hawaii shows off its volcanoes.  Iceland dismisses Hawaii by pointing to its volcano with a glacier on top of it. Imagine a country that has so many natural wonders it has to stack them up. What you just saw in […]

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