A story in which one of the main characters does not appear.

Trees. Not pictured, Amy.

Amy* is a woman I used to work with. We still work for the same employer, but in different sections, so I rarely run across her. Amy does not appear in this story.  

I supervised Amy at one point. Before that, our paths crossed in different assignments. When she worked for me, when bad or odd things happened to me it was when she was working. The night a drunk driver nearly killed me, she was working. Most of the things that happened “because of her” were a lot more benign than almost getting killed. This jinx manifested itself so many times, it  became a running joke.  

Once, we had a trainee on our shift. He was not the brightest guy. The trainee had a particularly bad night one night. Amy came to me and asked if he’d really done what she’d heard. I told her that he had, and more. We both agreed that was likely the dumbest thing we’d ever seen done at work. 

Amy married that guy. They live somewhere not far from where I do. I give you this history to explain to you that I know this person when I see her. Amy does not appear in this story, nor does her husband

A typical Lowe's storefront in Santa Clara, Ca...

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Yesterday, I was at a big hardware store. At a distance, I saw Amy in the garden center, then I lost sight of her. A little later, I spotted her again, standing in front of a shelf where an item I wanted to buy was offered for sale. She didn’t seem to notice me pushing my shopping cart up to where she was, so I said “if you’ll get the hell out of my way, I will get what I need and move on.” I was about to add “so nothing bad happens to me.” Did I mention that Amy does not appear in this story?  

Amy looked at me. That was the moment I realized that Amy does not appear in this story.  

The psuedo-Amy looked at me, quite rightfully shocked at my rudeness. Realizing my mistake, I apologized quickly and explained that she looked like someone I knew. I added that the person she resembled would have thought what I said was funny and that I was not criminally insane.

We both had a good laugh; the psuedo-Amy was very gracious in accepting my apology. I couldn’t help noticing that she was backing away while she was doing it. I got what I needed from the shelf and went directly to the register to pay and get out of the store as soon as possible.  

Amy did not appear in this story.  

This woman really looked like her though.  

I’m going to avoid Lowe’s for a couple of months.

*The name has been changed to protect the party who was not there in the first place.


30 Comments on “A story in which one of the main characters does not appear.”

  1. izaakmak says:

    I feel for you my friend. I don’t know anyone, and yet everyone seems so familiar. Am I even on the right planet?

    • omawarisan says:

      I think we’re both going to be introducing ourselves to parking meters in a few more years, convinced it is someone we went to school with.

      This was someone I recognized AND knew the name of. Typically I know the face and can’t come up with the person’s name or I know I know someone by a name, but can’t put a face with it.

      • izaakmak says:

        I had a co-worker once, who angrily told me off for not acknowledging her hello when we were “both” visiting the bank. It took a bit of work to convince the poor woman that I had never EVER been inside the bank that she mentioned. While she was going on about the amazing resemblance between us, all I could think of was how terrible it was for another man to be doomed to walk the earth wearing my face! 😆

  2. pattypunker says:

    i can’t seem to shake my amy.

  3. wordofabe says:

    For years, I was everyone else’s Amy. Now that I’ve gone bald I’m not anymore. Which is helpful. The scariest is when I was a passing patrol officer’s Amy. Fortunately, he decided I was not who he was looking for.

  4. Roger's Place says:

    My Amy worked for me. One day she came up behind me and gave me a friendly jab in the butt. Only, it wasn’t me, it was one of my clients.

  5. Counter Culture Clown says:

    You’re lucky. People get stabbed for less than that in these parts. Us midwester people take our Lowe’s fuckin’ seriously!

  6. spencercourt says:

    I suspect all of us have been vics and perps of mistaken identity, so I “feel your pain.”

  7. shutterboo says:

    I totally did this. Except I thought it was my brother in the perfume section of a department store. Totally ran right up to him; stopped dead 3 feet in front of his face realizing it was not my Joseph. But he ignored me and walked around me and all was good in the world again.

  8. Pie says:

    I’m Amy!

    I get stopped by people on a regular basis because they’re convinced I’m known to them. I must have the most flexible face in London. I’m confident that sometime before I die, my mistaken identity will make me America’s most wanted.

    • omawarisan says:

      That’s got to be an odd feeling. I get that I sound familiar or people think we’ve spoken on the phone, but not so much that I look like someone.

  9. KathiD says:

    That is SO like something I would do. Have done.

    • omawarisan says:

      Will do again?

      This is my first miss. I’ve done stuff like this before in front of my family and always get the reaction “what would you have done if that wasn’t who you thought it was?”

      I’m kind of thinking the best thing to do in the long run is get back on the horse.

  10. Pauline says:

    Like Pie, I’m often told I look like someone they know. I’d like to find all these ‘Pauline Dopplegangers’ and start an army! LOL

  11. linlah says:

    My look alike is evidently really good at pool and hangs out in dive bars. This is what dreams are made of.

  12. planetross says:

    You’ll have to lie Lowe for a while???

    A lot of people turn into my Amy … when I misplace my girlfriend in a crowd.

    • omawarisan says:

      When the people I supervise call in sick, they often use the expression “I need to lay out of work because…”

      I need to lay out of Lowes until I can convince myself the psuedo Amy has forgotten what I look like.

  13. queensgirl says:

    Once when I was a little girl, I grabbed the hand of a man I thought was my father. He wasn’t.

  14. Linda Sand says:

    A guy once came up and put his arm around me as a group of us were walking. I was wearing the same type of coat as his girlfriend just ahead of us.

  15. ccoleybear says:

    Did anything bad happen? Just wishing for more of an ending, I guess.

  16. […] was at a retirement lunch for an old friend. Congrats to Amy for getting out safe and being the royal baby name for […]

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