Occupational Stereotypes – A Policy Of My Administration.Posted: May 20, 2010
A chimney sweep just came to do his thing at the spacious and luxurious El Rancho Omawarisan. He did his job efficiently, with absolutely no mess, and he was pleasant to deal with.
He was a complete disappointment.
I have pictures in my head of what people who do certain jobs look like. It causes stress and mistrust when they don’t conform to those pictures. In my mind, and possibly in yours, a chimney sweep always wears a top hat and a coat with tails. I can forgo some things, like the Dick Van Dyke fake Cockney accent, but the top hat and tails are must haves. I would have gladly paid another $50 to have a guy working up on my roof top in a top hat.
With that in mind, I am announcing the Occupational Wardrobe Stereotype Act (OWSA) as the latest policy of the upcoming Omawarisan administration. Under OWSA, people would be able to gain certification as being stereotypical in their work clothing choice. OWSA certified workers would have greater earning power than their non certified peers.
Let’s discuss my chimney sweep further, since he is not here to defend himself. If he had his wardrobe certification, he would be able to display his certification in all his advertising. I’d know from that certification that he might be a little more expensive, but worth it. He’d be the first I’d call. If he worked for a company, his wage would be a little higher, but companies would seek him out because they’d know the appeal of the certification. As a result of this act, my administration estimates that the increased commerce in the chimney sweep sector of our economy alone would total 25 million dollars.
Chimney Sweeps would not be the only vocation eligible for stereotype certification. Some other examples are:
Bakers – Bakers could get their certification by always wearing that poofy, sort of mushroom-shaped kind of chef’s hat. You know, like the Pillsbury Dough Boy wears. Science has proven that if the same person makes two loaves of bread using the same recipe, the one they baked with the poofy chef hat on will always taste better.
Doctors – I have never seen a doctor with one of those round shiny reflective things strapped to their head. It is, however, very stereotypical. A semi related note – nurses would not be eligible for OWSA certification. They work too hard as it is. They’d just get a raise.
Auto Mechanics – The best auto mechanics all have work shirts with an oval-shaped patch with their first name embroidered in it. Special bonus wages to mechanics who wear shirts with the names Buck or Marty, even if that is not their name.
The Occupational Wardrobe Stereotype Act will put more money into the economy, more money into small businesses, more money into the pockets of working people. In addition, the necessary clothing will help the industries of haberdashers and tailors. That goes double for wardrobe certified haberdashers and tailors.
I have finalized some of the wardrobe requirements, my administration is open to your input on others. If you have questions or advice on particular job stereotype requirements, the public question and comment period on this act begins now.