Cranberry bagel – toasted. Cream Cheese. Diet Coke.


I’m driving out for breakfast.  

A midget walks down the street. He is smoking. They say smoking stunts your growth. Well, there you have it.  

Another man pushes an empty wheelchair down the street. I watch him cover several blocks. I’m waiting. Waiting for him to realize he has forgotten someone. It never happens.  

I go to the counter at the bagel shop. A person who I’ve never seen before comes to take my order. She asks, “The usual?” I say yes, curious what will happen when my order comes. She gets it right.  

I drive back toward my office.  

The wheel chair is still empty. It is still being pushed, 6 blocks further from grandma.  

The little person is still smoking. That really isn’t helping.  

I have my own page in the bagel basic training manual. Or maybe I am just predictable.  

Cranberry bagel – toasted. Cream Cheese. Diet Coke.  

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16 Comments on “Cranberry bagel – toasted. Cream Cheese. Diet Coke.”

  1. Pie says:

    You need to lay off the diet coke, Oma. Aspartame is evil. It gives you visions of midget smokers and pushers of empty wheelchairs. It’s not helping you.

  2. wordofabe says:

    Cream cheese is very good for you. It makes you smart, which is why I eat so much of it.

    As pertains to the wheelchair guy: The current economic climate has facilitated the birthing of a few cottage industries. In your case you probably saw one of these. This was either a:
    1. Enterprise Rental, Wheelchair Division. “We pick you up.”
    2. Sammy’s Discount Taxicab Service. “We don’t use fossil fuels.”

  3. planetross says:

    I’m so predictable the staff at 7-11 have my stuff in a bag waiting for me … and the ramen shop reserves a seat for me … or maybe it’s just empty when I always go there.

  4. pattypunker says:

    sesame whole wheat. butter. cold milk.
    i’m a creature of habit, too. except when i get really sick of myself, totally rebel (against me, are you seeing the smarts here?) and fuck everything up.

  5. writerdood says:

    If they sell doughnut holes, why don’t they sell bagel holes.
    (Just wondering…).

  6. HippieCahier says:

    I don’t actually have time to read and/or fire off a pithy yet insightful comment, but I think the “People Who Have Blurted Back” list for this thread is funny in itself, especially “Pie on Cranberry Bagel.”

    Now I’m hungry.
    Can’t wait to read and digest this later….

  7. spencercourt says:

    Cranberry bagel? I believe the Florida Legislature banned them because I’ve never seen one.

    But if I go to NYC in the fall, I’ll keep my eyes open. If NYC has them, they are legit!

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