Family Living, Where Babies Come From, The Daddy Cell, Sky Mall & ShoesPosted: June 9, 2010
When I was in sixth grade, my parents signed a form that gave permission for me to take a special class. On the days the teachers taught that class they separated boys and girls into different rooms. The teachers taught us about our changing bodies and where babies come from.
The class was called “Family Living”, I think because that’s shorter than “Our Changing Bodies and Where Babies Come From.” During the babies portion of the class I learned that when a Daddy and Mommy really love one another, the Daddy gives the Mommy a cell to put with her egg. That cell and the egg make a baby.
The teacher did not take questions regarding the presentation of this cell by the Daddy to the Mommy. We did see a movie that contained a cartoon of The Daddy Cell swimming to find the egg. He had a big friendly smile and was swimming like crazy. Again, no explanation of where and why the cell was swimming, just that he was. As a result, the sixth grade end of the year pool party was a little awkward.
Put your hands down boys (or girls, if you’re reading this over in that room), there will be no questions. That class was a long time ago. I don’t spend much time thinking about The Daddy Cell and The Egg anymore. Then, a recent flight and some time browsing the Sky Mall catalog brought the Daddy Cell back to the front of my consciousness.
The catalog had an extensive ad touting the benefits of some shoes. Shoes with spring-loaded soles and heels. An innovative, marketable idea. Here’s a photo of the shoe for your examination. That logo. Isn’t that The Daddy Cell? All the research and development money spent on this and no one noticed the logo looked like, well, you know?
I don’t know what The Daddy Cell has to do with the benefits of these shoes. I do know that I can’t imagine buying and wearing shoes knowing that is on the side of them. All the same, I see a future for that sort of logo in footwear marketing. I intend to be a part of that future.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I am hiring a graphic artist to punch up my drawing of The Daddy Cell. When it is done, I am slapping it on my new line of footwear, Omawarisan’s Fertility Shoes.