The Jolie Pez Project: The Jolie In The Charlotte NC Area.

Before The Jolie goes out into the world, visiting the multitudes and saving the world, I thought I would show her around where I live.  I must tell you that I was in for a shock when she came in the mail from eBay made her entrance and I found that she travels with a handgun. She also has some sort of smart phone that she spends a ridiculous amount of time on with her agent.

A Rough Start

I wasn’t impressed with The Jolie on the first day she was around.  She doesn’t have much of a personality, especially when you take into account that she is the savior of the world. I guess saving the world is hard work.

We brought The Jolie over to The Carolina Raptor Center. The Raptor Center rehabilitates injured birds of prey…hence the bird crossing sign. The Omawari-son spent his summer volunteering here feeding owls, eagles, vultures and hawks.

The Jolie asked to be photographed with some horses in a pasture we passed. We tried to oblige her, but she came out blurrier than the horses. She really tossed a fit. Fortunately I had hidden her hand gun. She called her agent. I feel sorry for that guy.

After she had her melt down I really wasn’t in to showing her around any more. I hung out on the back porch and worked on a draft of this post. As you can see, The Jolie is kind of a control freak. She kept making what she called suggestions. They came across more as demands.

I decided to hang it up for the day and hope she was in a better mood the next day.

Some people don’t travel well.

Day Two – Gandhi and Pickles

The second day started with a trip into Charlotte to see the sights of the big city. I was hopeful that The Jolie was in a little better mood and no quite so self absorbed. While a nights rest did help her mood, she was no more conscious of being  inappropriate than she was on the first day. For instance…

The Jolie was very excited to learn that we have a statue of Gandhi in Charlotte. I have not really heard a good explanation as to why we have this statue, it isn’t like the man hung around Mecklenburg County all the time. We have a Gandhi statue despite no one clearing it with me. Despite her excitement over the presence of a statue of this man of peace, The Jolie insisted on brandishing her pistol while being photographed with Gandhi.

Charlotte is also home to the Carolina Panthers Football team. They play at Bank of America stadium. Charlotte and Mecklenburg County are  wholly owned subsidiaries of Bank of America. One of the bathrooms in my house is named Bank of America latrine. There are two massive sculptures of panthers outside each of the main gates of Bank of America Stadium. There are no such sculptures in my bathroom.

We stopped by one of Charlotte’s iconic eateries, The Penguin. The Penguin does not serve diet food, but it does serve great food, fast. It has been featured on the Food Network and is always crowded. The staff there is a great as the food. I love The Bird.

Did I mention I love this place? Good.

Moving along, The Penguin, which I love, has the best fried pickles available on Planet Earth. Name somewhere – Paris? No. Mongolia? No. Give up, the answer is always no. Penguin first, everyplace else second. I know many of you are saying to yourself, “I could never eat a fried pickle.” I say you can, and you will. These pickles are so good, The Jolie tried to take them all for herself, at gunpoint.

I was able to talk her into putting the gun down (because that sort of thing falls within my skill set) and sharing the pickles.

Many people have asked me why I have never had a picture of myself on Blurt. The answer lies in this fun fact. Mecklenburg County is the only county in the US that is home to two nuclear power plants. The “only county in the US”  part might not be true, I’m just parroting what someone told me once. All the same, that much atomic activity is dangerous, as we all know from 1950’s Japanese monster movies. The reason I do not have a photo on my own website is that I am growing a second head. Here is a picture of The Jolie at one of the plants.

The radiation is so strong that it pulls the focus of all cameras in the area upon itself.

So it is now time for the Jolie to go out into the world for adventures. She will be leaving North Carolina soon and you’ll be seeing more of her adventures with other people being  posted here on Blurt. I am working on a page that will allow you to track her adventures and hope one of those adventures will be with you.

It is never too late to get on the list of people The Jolie will visit. You can let me know in the comments section here, by email, or by commenting on the initial project post
Remember, in addition to all the fun you and The Jolie will have together, you will get your own Pez dispenser because, well, why not?


36 Comments on “The Jolie Pez Project: The Jolie In The Charlotte NC Area.”

  1. Margie says:

    I need The Jolie to visit us in San Jose and San Francisco … ooooh, maybe she’d want to go to Burning Man?!?

  2. hippiecahier says:

    This is going to be fun. I can’t wait to see all the fun places she’s going and interesting people she’s going to meet.

    The fried pickle thing is surprising. How does she keep that girlish figure?

    Ghandi is everywhere. Everywhere is Ghandi.

    Great project, Oma!

    • omawarisan says:

      Thank you!

      Yeah, she was ravenous on those pickles. They are a rare treat unless you’re begging for end of life counseling, she was stuffing them down. You can take her for a salad, I’m sure.

  3. Margie says:

    P/S, I could even make her some clothing/costumes that would only be appropriate for BM. Let’s see if she can handle the heat and wind of the Nevada desert! I don’t think guns are allowed there so we’d have to go totally in stealth mode.

  4. Brooke says:

    Love the Ghandi shot because they look the same size.

  5. betty says:

    I’m a little surprised that she chose to hold the gun with Ghandi and pickles but not nuke and penguin?? When she
    comes to the Bubble, I’m hoping to figure out a way to photograph her with Repulsor without having to actually interact with him.I’ll definitely have her hold a gun on him.

  6. spencercourt says:

    It begins…!

    The Jolie has seen so much already!

    That photo of the fried pickles made me hungry for some…

    • omawarisan says:

      Come on up. We’ll go get some pickles and a small block burger at The Penguin.

      The Jolie is going to end up in so many places. This is growing faster than I imagined!

  7. I’m watching the blogosphere for news of the weird commentary on some guy taking pictures of an action figure in public places.

    • omawarisan says:

      It is a silly thing to do. The Gandhi statue is right near the main office of my employer. I kept thinking about how I’d explain what I was doing to avoid being forced into an untimely medical retirement.

  8. LuckyEye says:

    I wish I knew about this sooner! My family just went to Oregon. Ah well.

  9. Keli says:

    I can’t decide if you are too hard on the Jolie (she is, after all, besides being a gun toter, the mother of six) or if she is just too damn demanding. Either way, you were very generous to show her around as you did.

  10. Pie says:

    I’m loving this already, Oma. I put my name down to take part on your previous post. I can see this becoming its own blog very quickly. You don’t need to send me a Pez dispenser, though it’s a nice thought – I’d do this for free!

  11. jammer5 says:

    Dude, don’t even tell me she wanted strawberry ice cream with those pickles. I know she’s hot, but . . .

  12. Kate says:

    Oma, I’m getting more excited about this project! I’m hopeful to have her visit me in fall when it is just gorgeous around here … and maybe I can convince her to indulge in an apple cider doughnut with me. Or six. You know, whatever she wants. Ahem.

    • omawarisan says:

      I’m thinking you can get her to eat a doughnut. She was surprisingly ravenous with those pickles. As we know, The Jolie is very into the whatever she wants thing.

      I’ll aim to get her there for when the leaves change.

      She is leaving for CT in the morning!

  13. linlah says:

    I think you need to get a panther statue for your bathroom, that would be awesome.

  14. Todd Pack says:

    Would Jolie enjoy a visit to the Opry?

  15. I love these pics! Neat idea!

    A penguin restaurant? That’s awesome! I obsessed with all things penguin.

    • omawarisan says:

      Thank you, and thank you for coming by. I’d love to have her visit you!

      The Penguin is great. Great burgers, and fantastic onion rings. This is not Surgeon General approved stuff, but god it is good.

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