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I Get Spammed By Mrs. Anti-Virus

Like most blogs, Blurt gets its share of attempts to clutter its comment section with spam. Today I looked in my spam folder and found this (with a link to some scam site) :   

Mrs. Anti-Virus: I bet you wish George Bush was President now.   

Not surprisingly, this spam was aimed at a post that had nothing to do with who the President is. The post was about the coming adventures of an Angelina Jolie action figure. Still, the name of the person who sent it took me back. I was actually tempted to respond to spam. Let me tell you why.   

My Friend Amy

Oxon Hill Junior High, home of 7th grade me

 

Back before I went to college, in the time that my son refers to as “when the whole world was in black and white”, I went to school with a girl named Amy Anti. She was a cheerful girl I met in seventh grade band class. I was a drummer, Amy played the flute. Neither of us were great musicians. In fact, I was bad enough for the both of us, but that isn’t really the point.   

As I said, Amy was a pretty upbeat person when I met her, especially for someone whose last name was a prefix. We became great friends, rarely missing lunch together and helping each other through all the high school relationship silliness. In retrospect, I probably should have asked her out, but I never did because, well, she was my buddy Amy.   

There was that and she always had a cause she was fighting. Save the whales, death to the Shah, ketchup isn’t a vegetable…Amy was tireless when it came to her causes.   

We graduated  in the dark days before email, cell phones and Facebook. Amy and I hung out at the graduation party, she gave me a big hug before she went home and we went off to separate colleges. When I graduated from college, I stopped by her dad’s place, but he’d moved.   

I got older, Amy slowly became relegated to being the girl in the black and white photo on the second page of my 1979 school yearbook.   

Thirty Years Pass. Things Change. Well, Some Things.

I missed my thirty year high school reunion last year. I found out that Amy didn’t miss it.   

A virus by any other name is still a virus

 

Friends told me that Amy had shown up with her husband. That certainly wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. Nor was it surprising to me that Amy had made an effort to preserve her family name. An only child, Amy once told me she’d never give up her last name and let that line of her heritage pass from view. On that special day when she married Kevin Virus (who graduated a year before us) she brought out the hyphen and became Amy Anti-Virus.   

Sure, everyone knew that Kevin insisted that his last name was pronounced with a long e sound, like Veerus, but we called him Virus just to get under his skin a little.   

In true Amy fashion, Amy Anti-Virus took to her next cause. She adopted her husband’s passion for protecting other people’s computers. She was always against something when we were kids. Some things never change.   

The people I spoke with said years of constantly protesting and opposing whatever the next thing in line was had taken a toll on Mrs. Anti-Virus. They said I wouldn’t have recognized her, that she looked old. Grasping at straws, I pointed out that being a little old was a hazard of finishing high school in the seventies. They just shook their heads.   

“Nobody’s Right, If Everybody’s Wrong”*

Being Anti everything ages a person pretty quickly and makes me a lot less interested in what that person has to say.   

Still the temptation to get in touch was there when I had an email address at hand for the only person in the world who could possibly have the luck to be Mrs. Anti-Virus. I wrote a “how are you, I am fine” email and was about to hit the send button. I stopped and watched a little bit of the news. Everyone was against something. All that griping is hard to watch. So many opinions, so much negativity toward other opinions. The angry faces looked so old. I can feel myself aging when I watch that stuff.   

I deleted the email and the address.   

I’m keeping my friend alive as I remember her, not as some complaining talking head.   

Add to DeliciousAdd to DiggAdd to FaceBookAdd to Google BookmarkAdd to RedditAdd to StumbleUponAdd to TechnoratiAdd to Twitter   

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27 Comments on “I Get Spammed By Mrs. Anti-Virus”

  1. HippieCahier says:

    Not sure which way to go with a comment, since my reactions jitterbugged between sublime and ridiculous. I agree that sometimes it’s best to leave folks just the way we remember them. Have one or two of those, too.

    The name Anti and the name Virus were just made for each other. Last name is a prefix reminded me of the line from Johnny Dangerously.

    I’ve been on a Joan Jett kick for the past few months and just this weekend was thinking about a friend from college who reminded me both of Joan Jett and “Activity Girl.” I’m loving that song just because it reminds me of Julie.

    REVOLUTION!

  2. Brooke says:

    Wow. I think it was meant to be. I love weird names that get mashed up. A friend at work was telling us about the wedding she’d be attending: Yanker-Johnson. Pah!

  3. Good thing you just ignored it but your memories will always be there. Remember her like she was. People change and if you are like me, negative people make your skin crawl up the wall.

    Fun read. I enjoyed it a lot.

    • omawarisan says:

      Thank you Bren!

      Negative stuff just wears me out. I can’t even watch the news anymore because the constant bickering and insisting one side or the other is always right wears me out.

  4. Abe's Blog says:

    This is off-topic from your blog topic, but I know the rules and it’s allowed:
    Where do I go to take dance lessons to learn to do the “Stumble” like the fella in the film? I love that move.

  5. Good point, subtly made.

    PS–If Mr.&Mrs. Virus have children will they have gone viral?

  6. pattypunker says:

    our illusions are always better. realty leads to disillusionment. avoid at all costs.

  7. linlah says:

    I graduated in a class of 13, coutning me, which is like having a big family and I can tell you it’s hard to give up that many siblings at one time but I did.

  8. jammer5 says:

    Spam should be embraced, as one of my posts so succinctly states. People do need to understand these are people just out trying to make a living. I myself, being me, of course, as portraying someone else usually gets me arrested, understand this and have created limitless folders containing spam and other wonderful examples of internet correspondence. Writing that with a straight face is next to impossible, so I don’t even try anymore 🙂

  9. Pauline says:

    LOL@name “Anti-Virus”. If they have a child, they MUST name him or her Norton. 😉

    Admittedly, I can be a bit like Amy-Passionate and sometimes overly negative, railing against this or that. But I’ve learned that it’s best to pick your battles wisely and try to talk about the good stuff in the world too! 🙂

    • omawarisan says:

      That picking of battles, or actually the lack of doing so, is what drives me nuts. News coverage and thus the populace here in the states is being pulled into camps that spend every day railing against each other for everything.

      I think anyone who thinks one person or group has all the answers is a fool.

  10. Todd Pack says:

    You ever read the wedding announcements in the Sunday paper to see if there’s anything good, like Looney-Ward or MacDonald-Burger?

  11. SGottaHurt says:

    Good post. I erased a couple smart-alecky remarks I had written to tease, but… good post.

  12. Pie says:

    Some things really should be committed to memory. I have never been to a school reunion for a reason. You were wise to delete that email address.

    I wish Amy well, but I hope she will stop long enough to actually enjoy life. There’s a lot of horrible things going on in this world, but there are great things too. The kind of passion that Amy has could go towards pushing for things that enchant people and make them happy. I’m not talking about escapism because that does nothing for you in the long run, but I am talking about things that lift the soul, spirit, or whatever you want to call it, just to remind us once in a while that being alive is actually rather good. It keeps you young, too.

    Sorry I went off the deep end there, Oma. Although I could whinge for the planet in my writings, I also try and find the good stuff. For all we know, Amy may be doing some of that too. I’d like to think she is. But just in case, try not to physically find her. Let her remain in your head.


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