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I Know This Much Is True

Dinner last night was Chinese carry out. I cracked open my fortune cookie after dinner, because I’ve been told that eating cookies before a meal is not good.  My fortune read:

You will attend an unusual party and meet someone important.

Winnie the Pooh

Secretary General, Party Animal (Image by Onion via Flickr)

Later in the evening, I found myself standing at a bar with Ban Ki-Moon, Secretary General of the United Nations. He was dressed as Winnie The Pooh, as were many of the other party guests.

I showed Ban the fortune. He was instantly dismissive of it. “You can’t believe everything you read,” he said.

Ban Ki-moon, Secretary-General of the United N...

DJ Ban Ki-moon kicks it strictly old school (Image via Wikipedia)

His attitude was a bit off putting.

I don’t care if you are the Secretary General, you don’t speak to someone you just met with that haughty tone. While I was thinking about my reply, Ban took off his Winnie costume and put on a suit and tie. Then he went up to the DJ booth and rocked the house.

Maybe unusual was an overstatement.

I know this much is true

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28 Comments on “I Know This Much Is True”

  1. hippie cahier says:

    Were there mushrooms in the Kung Pao chicken?

  2. spencercourt says:

    Never seen a fortune cookie like that.

    Now in San Francisco’s Chinatown, you can a bag of “adult” X-rated fortune cookies.
    (I did not buy one.)

  3. pattypunker says:

    you know you’re supposed to add “in bed” to the end of all your fortune cookie messages. so?

  4. queensgirl says:

    “True” is one of my all-time favorite songs. (Except with the Secretary General.)

  5. Todd Pack says:

    Lately, my “fortunes” have been more like aphorisms, which is kind of a rip. I don’t want words of wisdom. I want to know what’s going to happen tomorrow, dang it.

    • omawarisan says:

      Exactly! No one wants an advice cookie. Go out on a limb and make a prediction like a cookie with some guts!

      • alcotsirk says:

        Its been years and years since Ive actually gotten a fortune cookie with a real fortune in it. Ive taken to calling them ‘proverb’ cookies. And really not bothering to open them.

        So in a moment of boredom I sat down with my friends and came up with a list of fortunes. Thinking “I bet if we made our own fortune cookie company and sold cookies with real and humorous fortunes we could corner the market”.

        Some things along those lines:

        “Soon” – Ya thats about as open ended a fortune as you could really get

        “The mail delivery guy at work is going to steal your lunch out of the fridge next thursday. Id lace that yogurt with ex-lax.”

        “She knows, buy flowers on your way home if you dont want to be kicked in the junk”

        I actually sent in a sarcastic and semi angry complaint letter to the main company that supplies all the fortune cookies around here. They sent me a box that said “We are sorry for the inconvenience” and it had free cookies in it. None of them had a real fortune either.

        • omawarisan says:

          You know…I’ve actually gotten the Soon cookie.

          I like proverb cookies, that sums it up really well.

          If they really meant that they were sorry all the cookies would have said it!

        • Todd Pack says:

          I just remembered I read a piece in The New Yorker a few years ago about a guy who writes fortunes for fortune cookies. It’s a tough gig. He was knocking out 3 or 4 a day in the beginning — he was riding the subway when he came up with, “Beware of odors from unfamiliar sources” — and eventually wrote thousands of fortunes before running out of ideas.

          Here’s the link if anyone wants to read it: http://nyr.kr/kSbFb

  6. Vodka and Ground Beef says:

    That Asian dude was just straight up rude to you. I don’t like it one bit.

    I wasn’t going to ask, but now I feel compelled, so here goes: what was that guy doing wearing a Poo costume (along with everyone else?).

    I know my ex, Kimmie Jong-il used to like doing this, but please tell.

    • omawarisan says:

      I think the fortune cookie set it all up. Some people will do anything to prove themselves right. It was pretty much just your normal cocktail party, just with people dressed like Pooh.

      You know how you go some places and you realize everyone else seemed to have gotten the word on the expected dress for the event but you? Somehow it isn’t quite the same sort of awkward when everyone is dressed as Winnie the Pooh and you arent.

  7. jammer5 says:

    Dang, the sane thing happened to me. I had my Chinese dinner checked for dangerous chemicals, as I thought I was hallucinating, and it turned out to be true in the scariest of ways. Evidently MSG, when combined with the active ingredient in Kung-Pooh chicken, makes one believe he is conversing with Chinese officials dressed as Winnie the Pooh characters. Chinese cooks know this and use it enslave Americans. You didn’t get a sudden urge to shop at Wal Mart, did you?

  8. YAY! I love chinese food. But is the rest of that true? With the Winnie the Pooh costume and the DJ-ing?

  9. Pammy Girl says:

    You know what I want my next fortune to read? Something that isn’t generic and vague. Something like: “The hot guy 2 tables over is checking you out”; or “You’re not getting a raise this year no matter how much you beg”; or “Chew some gum… no one wants to tell you how horrible your breath is right now.” Something useful, you know?


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