Keeping Up With The Kims: My Son The GeneralPosted: September 28, 2010
North Korean Leader Kim Jong Il has had his son promoted to general as part of the process to place him in line to succeed him as the leader of that country.
This seems to be a good idea.
My friends, as part of my desperate effort to keep up with the Kims, I am announcing that I am promoting The Omawari-son to the rank of General. This new title will prepare him to manage the worldwide empire that Blurt has become.
Some would label my decision as rash. If you are one of those people, keep it to yourself. I don’t want to cut your rations of rice, but I will.
Actually, I sort of want to.
Let’s compare the newly promoted Generals. Advantage in each category indicated by bold font.
General Kim Vs General Omawari-son
General Kim General Omawari-son
28 years old 18 years old
Fan of Jean Claude Van Damme Fan of Groucho Marx
No record of musical ability Plays two instruments
International School of Bern N.C. State University
Skiing, Basketball Kayaking, Soccer
Eats kimchi Eats waffles
General Omawari-son clearly outpoints General Kim winning most categories, but getting a draw in activities enjoyed. To be fair, General Kim also won in the category of coolest paternal hair. However, this is not Kim Jong Il’s blog so I censored that result.
There may be some who would contend that The International School of Bern is a stronger play than North Carolina State University. I’d argue that their football teams simply don’t compare…and the Marching Bands? Please.
I also anticipate some push back on age 18 winning over age 28. Let me point out that anyone who has been both 18 and 28 years old would tell you that you’re not ready to be a general at either age, but being 18 is much cooler.
We can all agree on waffles over Kimchi, can’t we?