The Jolie Pez Project: An Announcement

After launching her effort to travel the Earth to get to know the people and places she will be saving from certain destruction, The Jolie stormed through Connecticut and Queens, NY. And then…

…nothing.

In transit to her next destination, she vanished. E-mails flew as the Blurt staff and many of her fans waited nervously to learn of her fate. Agencies across the globe were notfied and went to work searching for The Jolie. Satellites were shifted from their normal missions and reprogrammed to pick up the glow of her wonderfulness…

…nothing.

Before I go on with this announcement, I want to thank all the fans of the Jolie who wrote, all my friends who called looking for updates and expressing their concern. Your support has meant so much to me.

Now, as the manager of The Jolie Pez Project, it is my duty to inform you that…

THE JOLIE LIVES!

Yes, friends, she is alive. I am still unsure of exactly what happened. I know she left her last stop, but what happened after that is still a mystery. She has gone to get professional help to assist her in processing the emotions triggered by what happened, but she has been reluctant to speak with me about it.

Here is what I do know:

I walked out onto my porch a few days ago and heard a groan. This is not unusual, the neighbors often groan when they realize that another day has dawned and they still live next to me. The fact that the groan was not followed by a barrage of eggs and rotten fruit caught my attention. I looked to the other end of the porch and there she was, face down on the concrete.

I am sure you can see this was a horrible scene to walk up on. I was glad to see she was alive, but to find her in this state was quite traumatic. I called 911.

The police drew a chalk line around The Jolie and an ambulance took her away for treatment. It was an emotional time for the community.

When The Jolie was released from the hospital she was covered in bandages. Sadly, the paparazzi were there. The Jolie came back to my house to recover.

We spent a lot of time talking about her mission – whether she wanted to continue her travels and how important it was that she stay safe. She was certain about going on. There was only one decision to make. Where would she go?

We talked about it, and discussed the list of  people waiting for a visit. She locked on to her destination and would not be deterred.

Get ready, she is on her way.

For those who’ve already gotten in line for a visit from The Jolie, be patient, she will get around, by and by. If you’ve not gotten on the list, it is never too late. Look over the original post and comment there, or drop me an email! Remember, The Jolie is here to see and save the entire world. She’s very interested in international travel.

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