The Italian Coast Guard Is Not Funny. Well, Maybe A Little Funny

There is a sad story in the news right now, with an al dente twist.

ensign of Guardia Costiera, Italian coast guard

The Ensign of the Italian Coast Guard (Image via Wikipedia)

Apparently two American balloonists were involved in a race in Europe. It appears that there was a problem and they were lost at sea off the Italian coast. The decision was made yesterday to end the search for them.

This is very sad, and my condolences go out to their families for their loss.


Picture taken during

Image via Wikipedia

I could not help noting in the CNN articles on this sad event that the person in charge of the search and rescue operation for the Italian Coast Guard is named Massimo Maccheroni. This is not funny. Don’t laugh. That is what he wants you to do.

This truly being this man’s name is as likely as the US Coast Guard having a ship commanded by Henry Hotdog.

(Note to self: call the Coast Guard, see if they have a Captain Hotdog. Suggest they get one)

If we believe this joke name, the next time we need the Italian Coast Guard we will be told that Massimo Maccheroni is on vacation and Matteo Marinara is covering for him.

I’m sure that some of you may believe that this Italian man is truly named after pasta. I am not going to try to talk you into seeing it my way. I’m just throwing it against the wall and seeing what sticks.

Picture illustrating straining reference. No pithy caption (image via

But if the”joke” that this man (whatever his real name is) is pulling gets you boiling mad; if you are straining to contain yourself then speak up below. Let the Italian Coast Guard know you’re not laughing one little bit at this man’s name.

Actually, one little bit is ok. It is kind of funny. Still…rise up against it!

Update 1/18/2012 – Mr. Maccheroni has now begun appearing as a spokesperson in the Costa Concordia disaster. They just wont give up on that guy!


16 Comments on “The Italian Coast Guard Is Not Funny. Well, Maybe A Little Funny”

  1. pattypunker says:

    i have faith peppino prosciutto will find them.

  2. *groan* Too funny though…really…

  3. Keli says:

    Manicotti! I’d like to get a pizza that Maccheroni!

  4. We found him Captain!! says:


    I rite this sa letter a to said to yuoa “Hey you no maika the funny the my nam a”. In my town is very popularity the name of us…. My brother name A Louitenante Massimo Macheroni. he’s the best one of the rescuing gruppa.

    In my town of Molfetta Italia, we gonna call you the “INALPHABETA BAST”.


    Rigatoni Macheroni


    Ronzoni Maccheroni

  5. linlah says:

    I don’t think Marinara would cover for him because of that incident in college, you know that three way with Alfredo.

  6. hippie cahier says:

    I’m willing to bet there is an eponymous pasta connection. Of course, I can only bring two real life examples to mind at the moment and they’re both people I know who wouldn’t appreciate my saying their names/professions, but I’m always fascinated by people whose real names go with their work. Dickens named his characters that way intentionally, and there’s Bookman, the library cop from the Seinfeld. But in real life I always wonder: did your parents, knowing your last name is Money, guide you toward becoming an accountant?

    Hmm…everyone else said something clever. Here: I’ll add a smiley. 🙂

  7. omawarisan says:

    I worked with someone named smiley. One of the most sour people I have ever been around. But yeah, you have to wonder if people were guided to their occupations, and then Ive met a few who really should not have their job based on their names.

  8. shoutabyss says:

    I hear the fellow is a bit of a limp noodle.

  9. In the vein of these comments, I want to say that without a doubt, my cousin, Rico Rigatoni till not stop searching ’til he finds them. That’s just how my cousin is.

  10. No, what is really funny is Massimo is an adjective meaning very large or very great. So this poor rabbit’s name could be loosely translated as The Big Macaroni. And there are all kinds of places you could take that, and I’m just not going to do that, because I’m a lady. Most days.

  11. Katybeth says:

    I have a human client named “Rover” does that count (I am in the dog care biz). “Boiling Mad?” if you had written this after the candy corn post, I would have said you had over indulged!
    My married name is Ruscitti and often pronounced Rosette. My mom warned me about marrying an Italian )


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