My Mine Collapse Checklist.Posted: October 12, 2010
It appears our friends who’ve been trapped in the Chilean mine are finally about to be freed. This is such great news for a world that is sorely lacking for something positive for a change.
That said, I’m not going to go as far as recommending that we go the cave in route to find a good vibe all that often. If it does get to the point that we have to have semi-regular cave ins to get some good news, I hope we can all agree that this group in Chile should get a pass from any future entrapments.
A few weeks ago I thought through the possibility of being similarly trapped. To complete the thought and to be prepared for any circumstance I am submitting my day by day to do list for when I am rescued from a mine.
- Come up from underground in that tube thing. Wear sunglasses so I don’t look squinty in photos.
- Do a little dance. Recognize that everyone knows where I’ve been and that I will dance like someone who has been sleeping on a rock for six weeks. They don’t care, neither should I.
- Big dogpile with all my gathered family and friends. Try to be understanding when people get off the pile holding their nose.
- Shower. New dogpile.
- Eat a pizza, drink some beer.
- Make sure my iPod is charging. Sleep.
- Call in sick.
- Try to stand up straight.
- Meet my family and friends one at a time. One at a time lets me hear everything they have to say. I will have a lot to hear. Have them draw straws to decide the order.
- Keep trying to stand up straight.
- Cap’n Crunch and skim milk.
- Go to the press conference
- Realize at the press conference that my hair is really long. Solicit the public’s help on what to do about that.
- Look down at the ground. Stomp. Stomp everywhere I go today to enjoy being on top of the ground as much as possible.
- Go to New York to do the David Letterman show. Refuse to do the show if they don’t have a musical act I like. I didn’t live 6 weeks underground to follow some lame boy band.
- Saturday Night Live. Same deal.
- Don’t take calls from Oprah
Day 5 & Thereafter
- Fly south
- Start writing a book
- Consider writing about that whole mine cave in rescue thing as soon as that first book is finished.
- Eat at El Siboney. Daily.
I urge you to begin planning for your post cave in life as I have here. Do you really want to come up in that capsule with no plan other than the one you thought of while lying on your granite pillow? Of course not. This is real life, you’ve got to be ready for anything. Don’t leave this to chance!
Estoy feliz de que son amigos Chilenos de vuelta y seguro!
- Chile mine rescue: first miner to surface within hours (telegraph.co.uk)
- Timeline: Trapped Chilean miners’ two-month ordeal (reuters.com)