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Perhaps Backward And On Fire Would Be Easier.

Remember re-entry? Back before spaceships had wings?

Apollo Command Module splashdown.

They did it backward, in flames, into the ocean (Image via Wikipedia)

Back in the day, astronauts came back to earth by falling backward through the atmosphere. Their capsule would be engulfed in flames in the upper atmosphere, then there’d be a point where they’d deploy a parachute or three and slow down.

It wasn’t over even then. They’d fall into the ocean. Ideally, this would happen somewhere near the aircraft carrier they were aiming for so they could be rescued before they capsized.

Original caption:

"Omawarisan is no Astronaut. He will scream like a banshee" - Walter Cronkite (Image via Wikipedia)

Walter Cronkite used to portray the astronauts as cool and collected during this wild plunge. He made us think about them going about their business as their fireball streaked toward the ocean.

Walter never lied to us, and astronauts are made of something much more substantial than I am. Still, I can’t help but believe that there was a hell of a lot of screaming involved in the re-entry process.

Today I will begin my re-entry from vacation to the real world. There will be screaming.

Southernmost Point of the U.S., Key West, FL

I love you. (Image via Wikipedia)

I am somewhat soft-spoken, so I don’t think everyone will be able to hear the screaming. The sound will be disturbing to those who do hear it, so I want to issue a warning to the southeastern United States.

There will be a screaming sound emanating from a rental car in the Florida Keys this morning. The remainder of the region should expect screaming as I streak through the atmosphere from Miami airport toward Charlotte. The screaming may sound to some like terror, others may experience mournful wails.

Those astronauts were really special people. I’m not.

AUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHH!

Backward, on fire and streaking toward the ocean looks pretty good.

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36 Comments on “Perhaps Backward And On Fire Would Be Easier.”

  1. Todd Pack says:

    Few things in life are as painful as going home from a good vacation. Drive safely.

  2. tsanda says:

    at least you didn’t drive your rental car backwards into the ocean…. they don’t have parachutes.

  3. Will it be you or other people screaming as you “streak” through? That word is conjuring up a whole other image for me, Oma…some of us lived through the seventies!

    Wendy

  4. I completely understand that feeling. I tend to have it every Monday morning but I know it can be much worse after a vacation. Stay strong!

  5. The Blurt doesn’t scream…. it’s only scaled speaking.

  6. Katybeth says:

    Oh come now…a good nights sleep in your own bed??? Doesn’t that sound a little friendly and nice….perhaps a handful of left-over candy corn is sitting in a candy dish awaiting you…..Home Sweet Home? No place like Home? Home is where your heart is?
    Peace-another name for home? We will leave the light on? Ok. You feel better now, right? Stop screaming…for God’s sake.

  7. Kim Pugliano says:

    …and then you have to unpack.

  8. These days, I feel like I’ve been backwards and on fire – being shot in a rocket towards the sun. Which has more fire.

    We are all looking forward to your return!

  9. How about a couple of week’s quarantine in the Lunar Receiving Module?

    • omawarisan says:

      Ha ha ha…the big airstream! I always wondered about the people that got locked in there with them. If it was that dangerous, how did they find people to stay in the airstream with them?

  10. jammer5 says:

    Maybe the sound of one hand not clapping would be better. Loud noises seem to draw out people like homeland security and things like that.

  11. writerdood says:

    Sounds like you’re going to need a re-entry shield or you’re going to show up at work in a smoking pair of slacks. Don’t wear polyester, it will melt.

  12. Abe's Blog says:

    I don’t know about re-entry, but I sure wouldn’t mind an astronaut suit for travelling–the one with the built-in bathroom? Nice.

  13. spencercourt says:

    I “ease back” into reality by coming back on Saturday and using Sunday to rest and transition back to the “real world.”

  14. Ha-ha! Wait…I mean Welcome back!

  15. Betty says:

    I’m totally feeling your backward and on fire right now.

  16. planetross says:

    It sounds like you were devacating after a good holiday. hee hee!

    note: I can’t tell my “f” and “v” apart sometimes.

  17. the jagged man says:

    Walter Cronkite was the last news man I ever trusted so if he says “”Omawarisan is no Astronaut. He will scream like a banshee” I believe him. On the other hand it was the Keys man! Re-entry from there to any where would make the bravest soul scream for sure.

  18. Amy says:

    This is pretty much exactly how I feel when I have to return from a great vacation.


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