Buddha And Jesus Go MissingPosted: November 24, 2010
Friends, it is my regretful task to bring you disturbing news. You are going to want to sit down for this.
Things Might Have Started To Go Wrong Yesterday
At work, I drive a vehicle provided by my employer. While others in the organization drive their cars while they are at work, then pass them on to someone else, my car is assigned to just me. Why? Because I am special. Seriously, ask my Mom, I am.
Because I am special and have my own work car, I keep some personal items in the passenger area and made little modifications to suit me and my special needs. For several years now, the aforementioned great religious figures have accompanied me on my daily rounds.
Buddha and Jesus are finger puppets.
Why a 49 year old man would have finger puppets in his car is a valid question. The short answer is, I saw them and liked them.
I am not traditionally religious. I think answers and truth lie somewhere between the various books and houses of worship. Having symbols of two of the world’s great religions along for the ride can’t be a bad thing. So Buddha and Jesus ride around with me at work.
For the record, the last paragraph is the most extensive discussion of faith I have had in years. Boy, am I glad that is over. Maybe I’ll talk about it again some time, perhaps in another 49 years.
Buddha and Jesus Disappear
Periodically I get the call to take my car in for maintenance. I usually pick up a loaner car and transfer a minimal amount of my gear to that car while mine is in the shop overnight. Personal stuff, like Buddha and Jesus, stays in the car being worked on.
About a year ago, when I picked up my car from a garage, I was asked why I had a Jesus finger puppet and who “the fat Chinese dude was” that was with him. At that point I considered that some might be upset by the two great figures co-existing. I don’t mind upsetting people now and again, but upsetting people who have access to the brake lines of one’s car doesn’t seem wise.
I resolved to move Buddha and Jesus when the car went to be worked on. I decided that, if asked, neither would have been offended by my choice. So yesterday, when I dropped my car off at the garage, I hid them both in their usual spot, the driver’s side door pocket.
This morning I picked up my car, transferred my gear from the loaner car and drove off. At a stop light I reached for Buddha and Jesus to return them to where they reside – magnetically attached to a piece of metal near the front seat. They were gone!
The Horror! The Dilemma!
I pulled into the first parking lot I could find and scoured the interior of my car. They were nowhere to be found.
I said some bad words and looked again. I repeated that cycle three times. Each time I got the same result. Buddha and Jesus are missing.
I went back and checked the lot where I loaded and unloaded the car. They were not there. I am very concerned.
Let’s face it, if anyone can take care of themselves in this world, it is these two guys. Still, I will be looking for them in the hope that I can return them to their rightful place in my car, that metal bar near my right leg. Should any of you see them wandering the streets, please have them get in touch with me.
Don’t worry about if they know my number. They have ways. They are Buddha and Jesus for Christ’s sake!