Christmas Decorations – A Policy Of My AdministrationPosted: December 15, 2010
’tis the season.
Since ’tis, I think ’tis time for a policy announcement that pertains to this time of year.
I enjoy outdoor Christmas decorations and lights. They express the joy people feel during the holiday season. I appreciate the effort involved in sharing that joy.
My administration will always be supportive of all the winter holidays – Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Festivus, New Years and all the ones that I will later wish I’d remembered to name.
When I take over, my administration will have a strict policy regarding outdoor holiday decor. My administration will have a zero tolerance policy for mixing styles in holiday displays.
Those caught mixing decorative styles will lose the privilege of decorating their property during the next holiday season. Additionally, they will attend a twelve step program on holiday decor. The program theme will be “Responsible Holiday Decor: Where Did I Go Wrong?”
Decorative Styles? Huh?
I’m glad you asked, let me explain.
As I see it, decorating one’s yard for Christmas is a choice between two styles. Both styles are equally valid, but they can not exist on the same lawn. The styles are the Santa/Frosty The Snowman Style and the Nativity Style.
We’ve all seen yards with carefully placed, respectfully lit scenes depicting the birth of Jesus. Expressions of faith are good things. However, when I see a Nativity scene as I have described, with Santa Claus included in with the Wise Men, it makes a vein start throbbing behind my eye.
I am not a religious scholar. Perhaps I’ll hire one for my administration. I do know enough about the various faiths to know that Santa was not documented as being among those who were present at the birth of Jesus. If a person’s devotion drives them to recreate a scene they find holy on their front lawn, my administration will insist they leave Santa, Frosty, candy canes, carolers and that jerk Garfield The Cat out of it.
The reverse is also true. Should one decide to go with Santa and his reindeer as decoration on their roof, Santa’s sleigh should not be taking off toward the Star of Bethlehem. If you are alive today and Santa is on your roof, he can not possibly also be within sight of a one time astronomical event that occurred to those on Earth thousands of years ago.
The Other Rule
I know I said there was one policy , but it would have been more accurate to say there is one policy, and then there is The Other Rule.
The Other Rule is very simple. Each religious figure or fictitious holiday related icon may only appear once in the outdoor decor of a given home.
There is only one Santa Claus. He can’t be on your lawn and on your roof at the same time. Should you choose a Santa theme, you must place him in one spot and be happy with that spot.
Similarly, it will not be permissible to supplement the expected cast of any manger scene with additional figures simply because you have them on hand. The story mentions Three Wise Men – not Three, plus the other Two you have because those rotten kids stole the third one last year and you kept the other two. I hope we are clear on that.
I’m glad we can have these talks and appreciate the support you have all given my policies so far. Feel free to enforce this policy as you see fit until I choose to move myself into the seat of power.
Remember, if it is an important matter, it will be my policy page. If it isn’t there, it doesn’t matter yet.