The Funeral Home & Christmas Tree Lot.Posted: December 23, 2010
Perhaps it is the part of town I work in. Perhaps it is because entrepreneurial folks are always looking for a new opportunity. Maybe I spend too much time driving. Whatever the reason, I seem to run across a lot of businesses that combine profit-making ideas in strange ways.
I can take you to places where you can get a mobile phone while you buy clothes, auto parts or as you dine on a variety of cuisines.
I know where there is a Burger House and Limousine Service. They already owned a restaurant; then, they got a good deal on a big car. If they wash their hands between changing the antifreeze and flipping burgers I suppose that will all work out for them.
The Ice Cream Parlor and Hair Salon combination bothered me more. I never went in that place. I couldn’t drive by it without getting that sensation like I had a hair on my tongue.
As best I could tell, there was a door between the two parts of the business. I just don’t think that they manufacture a door that can withstand what I believe is a magnetic attraction between Fudge Ripple and Strawberry Blond.
You might have noted that I wrote the Ice Cream Parlor and Hair Salon paragraph in the past tense. Mercifully, the ice cream section has become a second salon. Driving by that building skeeves me out so much less now.
It Gets Worse
Today, I saw the ultimate in incongruous business pairings. A Funeral Home with a Christmas Tree Lot.
Some things should not be combined. How does one prepare themselves to buy a symbol of joy at a place associated with great sorrow? What message does adding a Christmas Tree Lot to a Funeral Home give to the bereaved? I think it says “sorry for your loss; now if you’ll excuse me, these boughs of holly aren’t going to sell themselves.”
Maybe it is a little harsh to act as if someone in the funeral business can’t expand their horizons. If it is OK for the convenience store owner and the restaurateur, why not the funeral director? Maybe it is a matter of finding the right match. My conclusion is that there is one business suited to be combined with a funeral home.
A Petting Zoo.
The Funeral Home / Petting Zoo would be a perfect combination. Kids under foot during the wake? Send them out to the Petting Zoo. Need a break and some comfort? Step on out and pet a bunny.
There’d be no charge for going to the petting zoo if you’re attending a funeral. If you’re not attending a wake, a reasonable admission charge would be in order.
Of course, there would be animal food available in those gumball machine style dispensers just like at any other petting zoo. It would probably be a good idea to bring some quarters when you to the funeral home/petting zoo.
Everything works if you let it.