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Plummeting Birds. I Will Be Ready.

Today, I discuss a topic ripped from last week’s headlines…

Redwing Blackbird Singing

Hey, Does Anyone Else Feel Funny? (Image by Black Thumb via Flickr)

New Years Eve started what seems to be a new trend among birds – falling from the sky en masse. Birds have taken the plunge in Arkansas, Louisiana, Alabama, Sweden and Italy. I gather that this is not completely unheard of in natural history. It is unheard of in my history and I am totally unprepared for it.

I realize that, beyond looking for a very sturdy umbrella,  there really isn’t anything I can do if birds start falling around me. The only thing I can do is try to be prepared with something to say.

I know that without preparation I can count on coming out with something articulate like “what the heck?” or “whoa, did you see that?” This is a lot less than I’d expect from myself. I can do better now that I know I need to be prepared.

Let’s review a couple ideas I have on things to say and do when birds start falling.

Iron Chef

The real Chairman Kaga. The Chairman on the American version is a poser ( image via hedonia.seantimberlake.com )

I love the television show, Iron Chef. More specifically, I love the original Japanese version of the show. “The Chairman” is more over the top than in the American version. I also like the bizarre ingredients like snake faces and boneless chimp.

One thing I have considered is doing an Iron Chef tribute.  I’m thinking of a recreation of the opening, when The Chairman reveals the secret ingredient the chefs must cook with. Once I realize that a lot of birds are there, I will cover some of them with my sweatshirt. Then, I will whip the shirt back and yell out “today’s secret ingredient is…Red Winged Blackbird!

Maybe that is a little obscure.

Say It In Song

My other idea is to come up with a song for the occasion. I think there will be a lot of panic when people recognize that birds are making unconventional landings around them. A bit of singing might help settle down people around me.

I thought I could sing a little of the Beatles song Blackbird. Maybe I’d change it a little and call it Blackbird, Oh, Never Mind.

Maybe I could do a little improvisation on the theme “It’s Raining Birds”. I might throw a verse or two of scat singing in for good measure.

I could sing the song by The Carpenters, Close To You. I’ll combine the first two verses into one that goes “Why do birds fall down from the sky, every time you walk by?”

As Always, Preparation Is Critical.

My preparation for this matter is just beginning. Now that I know it is possible for a thousand birds to fall out of the sky around me, I see the need to be ready.

As always, I am open to your input.

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43 Comments on “Plummeting Birds. I Will Be Ready.”

  1. Hippie Cahier says:

    I confess that I have had “It’s Raining Birds” in my head every time I’ve heard about these odd occurences. I leave out the “Hallelujah” part. Can’t believe The Carpenters didn’t come to mind. You may be onto something. . . .

  2. betty says:

    I’m sure The Jolie has something to do with it.

  3. Wendi says:

    I must agree with Betty. I find it an interesting coincidence that these mass bird deaths have occurred during The Jolie’s travels. Perhaps that explains her delay arriving in Baltimore…she was out willing birds to drop from the skies.

  4. Snoring Dog Studio says:

    My suggestion, though a bit odd, seems most useful and, at the same time, entertaining in a way that would help others get past the apocalyptic nature of the event. That is, dress up as Tippi Hedren complete with box hat, Chanel suit, stylish pumps and pearls and run screaming through your neighborhood.

  5. planetross says:

    Penguins and ostriches falling from the sky would kind of seem normal … when I think about.

  6. I like the idea of you bursting out in song, The Carpenters song seems best fitting.

    Thanks Oma, now I have that Carpenters song stuck in my head.

  7. Can I be on your show, Oma? I’ve got a great stuffing recipe that I’d like to try out with blackbird…hope there’s a lot of ’em!

    Wendy

  8. I’m pretty sure the birds are hoping to attack me. Don’t tell them where I am.

  9. Todd Pack says:

    I love the Iron Chef tribute. You should do that. Be sure there are a lot of people around. Most of them will stare blankly or think you’re weird, but I guarantee 1 person in the crowd will get the joke. There’ll be a brief pause, and then 1 person will burst out laughing, like I did just now.

    Then, you should burn the sweatshirt, because it’s got bird germs all over it.

  10. Yes, don’t forget Four and Twenty Black Birds/Baked into a Pie.

    And buy umbrella stock.

  11. I ALSO am a fan of the original Iron Chef and am upset that our Food Network has removed all traces of it from airing. Chairman Kaga quite possibly has a shiny coat made out of red wing blackbirds…so you may not see that as an ingredient on the show.

    Iron Chef America does not exist in my world.

  12. Katybeth says:

    You want to eat the birds?

  13. shoutabyss says:

    Today two great bloggers met in battle in Blogger Stadium.

    And the winner is …

    Blogger Blurt

  14. tsanda says:

    I don’t think these birds understand how to fly.
    At least they didn’t crap on my head.
    Birds, What are they good for anyways?
    I knew we shouldn’t have windex’d the ground. (that one is subtle! BAM!)
    It’s okay, I am a doctor. (just to the nearest person to you who also say this, it will calm their fears)

    Feel free to use all or none. I recently used all of those in succession on a date. Went really well.

  15. Kate says:

    What’s up with that? Scary!

    • omawarisan says:

      They havent explained it, have they? It is kind of weird. I have read a few things that say it isn’t unheard of for these thigns to happen. It is just unheard of by you and I.

  16. linlah says:

    Changing that Beatles tune is a great idea especially chinging like you did. I bow down to your brilliance, or is that brilliance.

    • omawarisan says:

      I considered not going with that one. I have a friend who would never let me hear the end of it if he saw that.

      Maybe three or four beers later, or that might make it worse… but thank you!

  17. pattypunker says:

    the chairman is to the iron chef what the bbc verison of the office is to the us version: so much better.

    also, the carpenters song=pure gold.

  18. dottiemaggie says:

    all I can think of with all these bird stories.. “4 and 20 blackbirds, baked in a pie..”
    … now i’m hungry.

  19. For the Song Category, I propose, to the tune of Rockin’ Robin …

    They drop from the tree top all day long
    Droppin’ and a-ploppin’, not singing their song
    All the little birds on Jaybird Street
    Hate to hear the robins go … splat, splat, splat?


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