Karma, My Cubs Cap, Daytime TV and the Flu. Thoughts of a NyQuil addled mindPosted: January 17, 2011
I went on vacation and took the day after I got back to town off from work. That was probably a good idea on my part, not because I got my laundry done, but because that’s the day the flu hit me.
Since this happened after I got back from vacation, I am going to go with the idea that my Karma is very good at this point. I was apparently destined to suffer through this bout of the flu, but life was lined up such that I could enjoy my vacation, then get sick after I get home. You can’t ask for more than that, can you?
I try to learn as much as I can from whatever I go through in life. Here is what I learned from this bout with the flu, which was largely spent staring at the television while wrapped in a blanket on my couch.
Lesson 1. No matter how old you get, there are certain things you must have near you when you need comfort. Some kids have blankets, some have a stuffed animal. I have my Cubs cap. I am not too proud to admit that.
If I ever get sick far from home, my Cubs cap will have to be Fed-Ex’ed to where ever I am if I am to have any hope of recovering.
Lesson 2. I am one of the only people on earth who does not have a television talk show. I’ve got to do something to remedy that. I’m equally as unqualified to have my own show as the next person, yet there are so many who are not me who do.
Perhaps I’m on a waiting list.
Lesson 3. The Price is Right. It should remain legal for one contestant to bid 1 dollar above another contestant. It should become legal for the contestant who was treated in this matter to vent frustration in whatever manner he or she sees fit.
Lesson 4. The flu turned my beard gray. It could be that its been that long since I have let it go long enough to be able to tell what color it is, but I doubt it. It could be that I’m old enough to have a son in college.
My beard is gray. Damned flu did it.
Lesson 5. Soap operas. Really attractive rich people are treacherous. They have a lot of sex, then kill each other, or destroy each others companies. They have a lot of arguments, but often one of them stands behind the other when they argue. Parties in an argument between attractive people on a soap opera can not look at each other while they argue.
Lesson 6. NyQuil. There is no sleep like sick on the couch on NyQuil sleep. Days can go by unnoticed.
Sleep is the best thing for me when I’m sick. NyQuil turns out the lights, even if my eyes are open. I am not responsible for anything I might have said this week. Blame it on Vicks.
Lesson 7. The signs at work have urged me to call in sick and not get my co-workers sick if I had the flu. That doesn’t mean they’re going to go out of their way and be helpful about it when I do, despite the fact that in 26 years I have missed work three times.
I’m going to work tomorrow and wipe my nose on selected phones around the office.
I’ll shave my gray beard off first.
- Woman Allegedly Pours NyQuil On Boyfriend, Tries To Set Him On Fire (dreamindemon.com)