The Jolie Pez Project – Saint John, New Brunswick, CanadaPosted: January 20, 2011
The Jolie slipped across the border into Canada and was given sanctuary in Saint John, New Brunswick by Wendy who writes the blog Herding Cats In Hammond River. It wasn’t long until The Jolie was wrapped up in some scandalous behavior with…well…I’ll let you see for yourself.
I could hear The Jolie yelling as we pulled up to the community mailbox where Jim and I pick up our mail…it had been a couple of days since we’d checked it because of a snowstorm. I decided to leave her in the box until she calmed down a little…I could see that Oma had spared no expense in sending The Jolie to Canada!
Bad things come in small packages!
I showed The Jolie to her room to rest from her ordeal. She wasted no time in soliciting sympathy from whoever she could find…this is how I found her a half hour later when I came to make sure she had everything she needed:
Our first stop was guaranteed to remind The Jolie of home: the Saint John sign at Fort Howe…everybody refers to Saint John as “Hollywood North” (not really…that’s Vancouver!).
The next destination was where every tourist who ever visited Saint John wants to go: the Reversing Falls. The Jolie posed with The Loyalist Man, who used to be the unofficial Saint John mascot before some marketing genius from Toronto “rebranded” our city:
The Jolie complained bitterly when she saw the actual “Falls”, which are technically just rapids…they’re nothing like ”backwards Niagara Falls”! “That’s it?” she asked. I hope she’s not planning to stop in Moncton while she’s here: The Tidal Bore will probably live up to its name…
Then it was on to Carleton Martello Tower, which was built on the West Side during the War of 1812 to guard the land approaches to the city from the pesky Americans. Unfortunately, it was closed for the winter…The Jolie was keen to check out the gun turrets! She had to be content to pose outside, though.
We headed uptown to show The Jolie our premiere performing arts facility, the Imperial Theatre:
It’s against the law here not to “go to Tim Hortons for coffee” (you don’t actually have to drink coffee…”going for coffee” is an activity). Tim Hortons is a Canadian institution started by a hockey player as a “summer job” back in the 1960′s before athletes were paid millions of dollars to play.
After lunch, we continued our tour. The next stop was the Saint John City Market, which has been in operation in its current location since 1876. When the Market was built in the late nineteenth century, Saint John was one of the world’s leading shipbuilding centers, and the roof of the Market is modeled after an upside-down ship’s keel. The kids made themselves scarce again while we took our photos.
Dulse from Grand Manan is something a lot of tourists take home with them when they visit New Brunswick:
Apparently, The Jolie was confused about what you’re supposed to do with dulse (and also has trouble reading upside down), because before I could stop her, she was doing this:
Our next stop was King’s Square, which is across the street from the Market’s Charlotte St. entrance. Until the mid-19th century, the Square was pretty primitive…people came to draw water from public wells, to view criminals in the pillory, or to celebrate special occasions with an ox roast.
The Jolie got a lot of stares from passersby as we walked through the Square…Saint Johners weren’t being their usual friendly selves:
The minute we arrived at our bookstore, Dave Shoots, Bookseller, she jumped on the scale to see if she’d gained any weight from eating at Tim Horton’s! The Jolie proudly declared herself “weightless” (kind of like her performance in “Beyond Borders”).
While she was in the bookstore, The Jolie was photographed with a “local boy” who left Saint John and got famous (sadly, that’s usually how it happens!).
Other famous people with Saint John roots include: film mogul Louis B. Mayer (born in Russia, but grew up here), actor Donald Sutherland (Kiefer’s dad, for you young whippersnappers!), actor Walter Pidgeon, and inventor Dr. Abraham Gesner (kerosene). The infamous Benedict Arnold spent six years in Saint John after the American Revolution, but Saint Johners don’t like to talk about it!
The Jolie explored the bookshelves looking for reading material
“Where’s your Danielle Steele section?” The Jolie demanded. “Down the street, at the bookstore we don’t own,” I replied. “What kind of bookstore is this?” she whined. I smiled. “A discerning one.”
The Jolie then asked to borrow a dictionary…I think she needed to look something up…
After returning the dictionary to its place, the Jolie headed for the children’s section…she wanted to send some books home for the Nanny to read to the kids. I found her absorbed a few minutes later:
Soon, I declared it was time to get packed up for the next leg of The Jolie’s tour. She allowed me to wrap her in bubble wrap, and only whimpered a little when I put the packing tape over her mouth…for the first time since she arrived, The Jolie was speechless!
“Good luck in Nunavut, Dear! Don’t let the door hit you in the arse on the way out!”
Wendy, I want to apologize for the Jolie having a fling in your house. I’m really sorry, I told her that she needed to keep in mind that she was a guest in people’s homes and should consider that in her decision making. Clearly I should have been more specific. I hope her rendezvous with
Gumby that unknown gentleman has not caused your home to be overrun by paparazzi.
The Jolie is moving on to Iqaluit, Nunavut. Many of us don’t know where that is. I’m not criticizing, I didn’t either until recently. A good way to find out is to give the blog of her next hosts a look or to find it on the Jolie Project Map!