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I Think I Wrote This, But I Don’t Remember The Title

Question mark

I forgot. (Image via Wikipedia)

If you sat and talked with people who know me, you’d probably get a lot of different opinions and stories.

But no matter who or how many people you talked to, if you asked them about my memory they would all reach a consensus. I don’t actually have a memory.

I am ridiculously forgetful concerning things that matter. I can’t remember names. Holidays and birthdays pass without my realizing it. Administrative tasks at work would never get done if I didn’t keep notes to remind me.

On the other hand, when recalling something is of no true benefit to me or society I have no issue with my memory. My head is full of useless information. I can look at a picture of the 1970 Baltimore Orioles and name them all. I know obscure song lyrics. Scraps of science and history. Pop culture. In choosing teams for trivia contests, I should always be chosen first. I am a vault of pointless information.

But I have to keep a note with my parents’ birthdays on it.

The Benefits Of Forgetfulness

A gift wrapped in yellow and green paper.

Maybe it comes in a box, or something like that. (Image via Wikipedia)

You might be wondering how you too can receive the gift of forgetfulness that I possess.  Does it take a blow to the head, or a steady diet of lead paint chips to achieve my inability to recall? Those things may be helpful, but I don’t really remember if they are what did the job for me.

I will tell you that you should very seriously consider the consequences of forgetfulness before you decide to bounce your cranium off the corner of the dining room table. Forgetting isn’t all fun and games, if I’m remembering right.

People are not always enamored with my lack of memory. It takes time to bring me up to speed on things I forget that we’ve already talked about. Before I took to keeping a list of tasks at work, I learned that my bosses were not impressed by missed deadlines.

I think people can tell when I am introducing them to others so they will have to say their name because I don’t remember it. They also don’t like me telling them things I have already said; I hear “you told me that before” a lot.

I Can Surprise Myself

I don’t want you to think that forgetfulness is all bad. Because things slip away from me, I am very easy to entertain. I don’t remember punch lines or jokes. You can tell me the same story you did last week, I won’t mind. People never run out of things to say to me. If they get close to feeling awkwardly quiet, they can just start the conversation over at the beginning.

It is not unusual for me to take some pants out of the dresser, put them on and find $20 in the pocket. This is always a treat. It is like giving myself a gift, and I’m surprised by my generosity.

Surprising myself is not always fun. It can also be scary.

Ring bound notebook

"Burned all my notebooks, what good are notebooks...?" Talking Heads, Life During Wartime (Image via Wikipedia)

I was going through an old notebook before getting rid of it. In the margin of one of my drafts is a note “idea: no more Christmas parade.” I have no idea why I wrote that. I like parades. I like Christmas. At least I think I do.

Maybe there was some sort of incident at the parade last year. November was a long time ago; maybe I won a local election and have concerns about the town affording the parade. Could I be part of some anti-parade conspiracy?

Be Part Of The Solution

The disease of forgetfulness has taken over my life.

Jerry Lewis at the 2009 Cannes Film Festival

In France, they think he is a genius. I heard they like mimes too. They need help. (Image via Wikipedia)

I contacted Jerry Lewis and he agreed to do a telethon to raise money for forgetfulness research. I think it will bring in millions

You can help me and others like me. Be sure to watch The Jerry Lewis Forgetfulness Telethon on Valentine’s Day Weekend.  Wait, Valentines isn’t on a weekend, is it. Maybe it was St. Patrick’s day weekend…no, not a weekend either.

Maybe you could call me if you see it on?

Thanks.

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57 Comments on “I Think I Wrote This, But I Don’t Remember The Title”

  1. Todd Pack says:

    I’m the same way. I know all of the pink questions in Trivial Pursuit (that’s the entertainment category, for those who never played the game), but I’m terrible with names and birthdays. I’ve gone years sometimes referring to people as “hey … you” because I can’t remember their names and am too embarrassed to admit it.

    • omawarisan says:

      The name thing is the worst, isn’t it? I’m fortunate in that I at least remember faces; that has pulled my bacon out of the fire more than once. I wish I could draw people so at least when I mention them in conversation and forget their name I could draw them and say…this guy.

  2. Snoring Dog Studio says:

    Statistics tell us that 89.5% (or was it 59.8%?) of the stuff we hear or read or think about isn’t worth remembering. The brain can only hold so much. I envision a little person in our heads toiling each day shoveling out the detritus (that’s also called, “crap”) to make room for more. The little person can never keep up. Kind of like Lucy in that pie making scene.

    Loved this post! It didn’t need a title. I could totally relate. Oh, yeah, you got an award from me today! U are so fine.

    • omawarisan says:

      My little person only shovels out what I’m supposed to keep!

      Thank you for the award and kind words. I’m very appreciative that you and everyone that reads my silliness!

      On 89.5% vs 59.8 %…Todd Snider….

  3. Hippie Cahier says:

    Hi! My name is Hippie Cahier. I really like reading your blog. In fact, I’ve been reading it and commenting for a little over a year now. It’s nice to meet you.

  4. Hippie Cahier says:

    Hi! My name is Hippie Cahier. I really like reading your blog. In fact, I’ve been reading it and commenting for a little over a year now.

    I tried to repost this comment in case you forgot about the first one, but WordPress tells me it appears I’ve already said that. Apparently, WordPress has met you.

  5. shoutabyss says:

    I hit the button to reply, but alas, it was too late. I had already forgotten what I was going to say about your post. I’m sure it was good, though.

  6. Amy says:

    Making a note to watch. . .hmmm, I forget what, I’ll make a note. My notepad is right in this drawer. Or maybe it was another drawer. I put it someplace safe. With my pencils. Hmm, maybe I’ll draw a note in the dust on my monitor.

    The starting defensive lineup of the 1975 Pittsburgh Steelers? Jack Ham, Jack Lambert, Mean Joe Green, L.C. Greenwood, Dwight White. . .never mind, you understand I’m sure. Have a great day, um, whoever you are!

    • omawarisan says:

      L.C. Greenwood wore those yellow high tops, right?

      You know, as much as I want Green Bay to win (sorry, can’t get past this summer with Big Ben) I was so excited to see Franco Harris and Rocky Blier on the field when they won the AFC Championship this year.

  7. Abe's Blog says:

    You don’t like parades? Or Christmas? That is more concerning than a memory lapse. I wish you could remember why you are going to try to stop parades. Maybe then I could talk you out of it.

    • omawarisan says:

      That is particularly scary to me…I am a marching band dad. How the heck do I end up making myself a note to remember to stop a parade?

      • Snoring Dog Studio says:

        I recall a news story from way back when about a guy who was knocked out cold by one of Santa’s elves during a Christmas parade. Seems the guy tried to steal the elf’s toolbelt. Knocked out guy escaped going to the pokey for being a public nuisance because Mrs. Claus intervened.

  8. planetross says:

    I don’t think I was exposed to lead paint during any formative years I may have had, but playing with the mercury from broken thermometers was always a favourite pastime.
    I have a very good memory for the trivial … and birthdays too! If was a large grey mammal that lived in Africa, I’d probably be an elephant.
    I know why you wrote that note about “no more Christmas parade”, but I’m on the other trivial contest team and can’t tell you.

  9. Hi Bob (that’s my name for everyone I can’t remember what their real name is):

    Maybe you and Todd and I can form an alliance if they ever come up with a Team Jeopardy Challenge? We could call ourselves the OLDFARTS (Organization of Learned Doodlers Full of Amazing Random Trivia and Statistics).

    That Canadian Girl With All the Kids, and the Dog

  10. To be honest, the roster if the 1970 Orioles is probably more important than a lot of the stuff we’re supposed to be remembering these days!

  11. Laura says:

    Remember that $50 — no, let’s make it $100 … yeah, $100 — that you borrowed from me? I just wanted to remind you that you said you’d pay it back today.

  12. I was going to comment, but I already forgot what I wanted to say. Shucks…

  13. pattypunker says:

    remember that night in vegas? this is your son, blurt jr.

  14. Kim Pugliano says:

    “If they get close to feeling awkwardly quiet, they can just start the conversation over at the beginning.”

    My favorite line. Hilarious!

  15. spencercourt says:

    Wait until you get past about 55. I’m beginning to suffer from the “forgot to zip the fly” syndrome….

  16. dufmanno says:

    At least you remember real facts. My brain is riddled with misinformation, straight up lies and fabrications . I have grandiose recollections of encounters with people I’ve never met or who actually hate me and Val Kilmer always appears in my dreams as either a waiter or a valet. Not sure why.

  17. educlaytion says:

    I thought I had already commented here but I must not have. Now I forget what your post was about. All I remember is that I too am filled with trivia and pop culture knowledge. Students always ask me tough questions about medieval kings and 17th century scientists to which I reply, “I don’t know but we could probably make an applicable point using the Simpsons and some movies from the 80s or 90s.”

  18. Rob G says:

    This same thing is starting to become a huge problem for me. I’ve always had a bad memory for things that you are supposed to remember, like Sunday and Wednesday are the days trash goes to the curb. But now, funny stories about things that happened in the past – like the time I accidentally tied a handicapped person into his Volvo, or when I predicted that the car we were in had a tire held on by only was one lug nut – are starting to fade from my memory.

    My wife said this started after I tripped over a huge pile of trash in the garage, but I have no idea what she is talking about…

  19. Katybeth says:

    I’ve heard singing what you want you to remember helps. I was going to suggest it for your memory issues and then I remembered a few of your other posts and thought-Nah

    ♥.

  20. I had some wonderfully insightful and semi-intelligent things to say when I finished reading your highly entertaining post, but then I read all those very humorous comments and now I can’t remember what I wanted to say. I guess I’ll do what I normally do when I forget what I was going to say to someone and don’t want to admit that I forgot; I’ll just keep talking and talking about whatever comes into my head in the hope that eventually I’ll get back to whatever it was that I forgot.

    Hey…

    Where’d everybody go?

  21. linlah says:

    You don’t forget everything, you remember my birthday every year.

  22. My word! I could have written this post’ well, except for the part where you know trivia. My mind is like a blank slate. If I don’t take a picture of it, or write it down, it is lost forever.

  23. We found him Captain!! says:

    Once I was kicked in the head by a horse but who knows where or when? I thought the guy playing the banjo wearing the skinny tie and singing was Kerry Pomo……was I correct or did I get kicked again while my back was turned?

    Welcome home!!!

  24. I write down things I might want to write about some day because otherwise they will be lost forever. Yesterday an old note sailed out of a book I was reading, on which was written: “yogurt belly arrow frass/caterpillar poop bacon bra”

    I am sincerely frighted of trying to connect those dots again.

  25. thejaggedman says:

    I am a Baltimore Orioles and a Miami Dolphins fan from way back and I can tell you why: Cal Ripken and Larry Csonka. After that I am not sure of much really but please keep the great post coming and….what was I saying? Uh, has anyone seen my stack of post-its? Damn I need a commodore 64.

  26. Kate says:

    Well, the upside must be that you don’t stay mad at people for very long since you don’t remember what you were mad about. Me? I’m still cursing Jane Janda for spitting on me in the first grade. And my mom for taking back that Barbie car I wanted soooooooooooo bad.

    Oh! Another upside! People must keep their expectations low that you are going to remember things. I’m expected to remember it all. In color. That ain’t gonna last much longer.


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