A Guy With An Italian Last Name Discusses A Horse Head That Isn’t Destined For Some Guys Bed.

Line art drawing of a fish hook and its barb.

I went to school with a girl named this. You don't meet many girls named hook. (Image via Wikipedia)


I am easily distracted. My attention can easily be drawn by shiny objects, motion or whatever else is in the category of “stuff that keeps me from doing what I really need or want to focus on.” I suppose that means I’d have been a really bad fish. Perhaps I’d have been a good fish, but the day would come when I saw something shiny.

One bite later I’d be on my way to a sushi bar.

Basketball Jones

This week I’ve had the chance to be at a college basketball tournament for several days. There are just games upon games to be seen. It hasn’t been a bad deal for me. I could easily pass a day watching basketball. For the most part, that’s what I’ve done the past couple days.

Collegiate cheerleaders perform a high splits ...

Talent, athletic. But who does this help? (Image via Wikipedia)

There was this exception. The shiny object. I walked back into the seating area as two teams warmed up for the next game. The cheerleaders were also on the floor. One particular cheerleader caught and held my attention the entire game.

Was it her spunkiness and feminine charms? Nope. Did she make me finally understand how endlessly chanting “be aggressive, b. e. aggressive” can inspire a team to victory? No, I still find that really irritating.

What caught my eye and initially drove me to fits of laughter was that apparently the teams mascot, a person in a blue horse costume, was not available for the game.  So, somehow the decision was made that this woman would wear a different cheerleader uniform than the rest of the squad, a pair of blue gloves and a disproportionately large, perpetually smiling, blue mascot horse head.

Out of a mix of my juvenile sense of humor, an idea that this could only end disastrously and curiosity how long this centaur cheerleader would put up with this idea, I watched her.

It is anyone’s guess how the decision was made that this young woman would don the horse head. I’m not really familiar with cheerleader culture. I have got to believe that she was the one last chosen to be on the squad.

You’re Hired

I know that, sadly, the cheerleader’s team did lose. I do not know how, because I watched her instead of the game. She worked her tail off and did almost everything the other cheerleaders did. It was really compelling to watch. Compelling, with a side of strange looking. Maybe a ramekin of strange looking.

For obvious reasons, I could not tell if she chanted “be aggressive”.

I am not an entrepreneur.  If I ever do start a business, I will ask all my applicants to describe their most embarrassing moment. If one of them ever says, “well, I wore a blue horse head and a cheerleader outfit” I will hire her on the spot. She is clearly the type who will do whatever needs doing.

You know, I should have been in Human Resources.

You go centaur girl.


20 Comments on “A Guy With An Italian Last Name Discusses A Horse Head That Isn’t Destined For Some Guys Bed.”

  1. I want to be at that game. I need a time machine.

    • omawarisan says:

      It was the best. If I can work out the time machine thing, I’ll need you to laugh doubly hard. I was in a position where I’d be in a lot of trouble for laughing at her so I kept having to go into a service hallway to do it. If you could just laugh for me, I’d appreciate it.

  2. Horsedonkeymulezebra says:

    Ha ha ha “She worked her tail off”

  3. planetross says:

    I bet all the rest of the cheerleaders were riding her the whole time she wore the horse head. hee hee!

  4. Hippie Cahier says:

    Many years ago, following an uncomfortable encounter with several large men who probably had Italian last names, a man with a decidedly Italian last name suggested that it would be in my best interest to learn when to shut the front door. Therefore, I am hesitant to comment on your post based on the title alone.

    And yet. 🙂

    Enjoying the Vintage Blurts. Hope the healing process is underway and looking forward to the return of Omawarisan Live.

  5. madtante says:

    If I had to wear a cheerleader outfit, I’d VOLUNTEER for the giant blue horse head (nobody would know it’s me that way, see?).

  6. “It is anyone’s guess how the decision was made that this young woman would don the horse head.”

    Maybe they made her an offer she couldn’t refuse!

  7. I checked with our three resident cheerleaders…none of them would have been thrilled about wearing the horse’s head…one of Hope’s teammates “gets” to wear the mascot costume…she says it’s “stinky” and “hot”.

    I agree with your assessment that anyone who would do that would be a great hire (although they could be really dedicated and not very bright!).



    • omawarisan says:

      I have significant mascot costume experience, Hope is right. I even wore one with a built in fan. It blew just enough air in to remind me that right outside was non-stinky air.

      I’m thinking of making the horsehead part of my next hiring process for my team at work.

  8. omawarisan says:

    Ok, I don’t usually point things like this out…but 100 hits on this post and no one likes the mention of the girl named Hook?

  9. spencercourt says:

    Any particular reason you used a photo of Gator cheerleaders? I went to UF for grad school. Went to my first (and only ever) college football game. They lost to LSU.

    I did go to the basketball games in old “Alligator Alley”, since I played in high school. They lost a lot of those too. Fired the coach at the end of the season.

    Still, I enjoyed the games because the Alley was just a gym and you were close to the action. Now, games are in the O’Connell Center which holds 12,000 (?). Not intimate at all. But there’s more money for the school and that’s what college sports is really all about.

  10. Todd Pack says:

    Of course, you realize I’m not going to scour the Interweb to find a picture of this cheerleader, don’t you?

  11. Katybeth says:

    It sounds kind of fun. Cheer after Cheer–Chant after Chant same old thing. I would not like smelly or hot but I’m pretty sure I would have volunteered for the gig and I would have absolutely added it to my resume. I’m not sure if anyone cares if you were a cheerleader or not but you have just shown being a blue horse is worthy of employment.

  12. gmomj says:

    She can always go to a bar after the game and no one would card her,
    But the bartender may ask.
    ” Hey why the long face?”

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