I’m Back.

It has been a week since I’ve done any writing. It is time to start correcting that. Apparently my pen still works. Consider this me coming back from the locker room and stretching.

An Appreciation

Ballpoint pen writing. Streaks of ink are visi...

Is this thing on? (Image via Wikipedia)

My last original post, last Sunday, dealt with the death of a co-worker who was a good friend.

I am very moved by the response I got from that post. Let’s face it, I could walk right by most of you and we’d never know our paths had crossed. Despite that, a lot of you went out of your way here on the site and on email  to express condolences and concern for my well being.

Thanks y’all for the concerns and for still being here when I showed back up.

Shaking Hands

My Dad taught me to shake hands firmly and look people in the eye when I meet them. He taught me other things, but that is one that applies to this discussion.

At my friend’s funeral I ran into an old classmate I had not seen in twenty years. We both reached to shake hands and I did things the way I was taught. My classmate shook my hand, turning my wrist so his hand was over mine. This is a common technique learned by people who believe it intimidates, asserts power and establishes who is in control in the relationship.

Actually, that sort of handshake establishes to me that I am dealing with weak person who can’t deal with me as an equal and has to be subtly aggressive. Needless to say, I was not impressed by this gentleman’s tactic. I didn’t feel as if his handshake made him the alpha dog in our relationship. It made him seem desperate.

I hope that revelation doesn’t cause him to shift tactics the next time I see him. As best I can tell, the next step would be him trying to hump my leg.

One Other Thing

This was the first week in over two years I have not done any writing. It felt completely wrong. I missed doing it. I knew that I would, but I did not know how much.

I think my lesson learned is that I am a writer, with a job to support my habit.

Pesky job.


60 Comments on “I’m Back.”

  1. Hippie Cahier says:

    Welcome back. Your dreams are your ticket out. . .keep writing. 🙂

    • omawarisan says:

      “…we tease him a lot, cause we got him on the spot…” I’m not going to look it up because I know you know the answer, John Sebastian, right?

      I’m going to keep writing.

  2. Snoring Dog Studio says:

    Interesting hand-shaking technique. If two alphas are shaking hands, what happens? A brawl? Broken wrists? I hate shaking fingers. Why are some people so stingy that they can’t give you the entire palm?

    So, so, very glad you’re back, Oma. Now I know Spring is on its way.

  3. Wendi says:

    Oma, glad you are back.

  4. Todd Pack says:

    Glad you’re back, Oma, and, again, I’m so sorry to hear about your friend.

    I thought the account of your classmate’s handshake was funny, in a sad kind of way. I always feel badly for people who obviously do a lot of shopping at Franklin Covey.

  5. We found him Captain!! says:

    Welcome back…….

  6. Abe's Blog says:

    Oma! Welcome back. I appreciate you and I appreciate your consistent writings. You have mad skills. I also loved the link to the hand-shaking article. I didn’t know that technique and now that I do I am going to use it on everyone I meet. I’m going to add a special martial arts technique I learned as a youth – the old bend-your-wrist-back-till-you-kneel move – that will give me a leg up over my competition. I just want their respect, and I am sure that aggressive handshaking is the ticket to respect.

  7. savanvleck says:

    Welcome back. I know what you mean about writing. I can be kept awake by the need to write. Paper and pen accompany me everywhere.

    Anyone who has to assert their dominance over others has a horrible inferiority problem or is just a %$$

  8. madtante says:

    I shake hands firmly but not “hard.” Growing up with lupus (a congenital form, which is a bit rare — my mother’s, while of course systemic also “settles” in her hands), you learn some people can’t take a GRASP. I, nonetheless, don’t go in for that limp-fish, “can’t be bothered” variety.

    Being a woman of small stature, nobody has EVER twisted my hand…

    Your post does remind me of the insurance guy (“their side,” not mine) who NO SHIT took my hand as if to shake it and crunched it so hard that the bones “rolled” together.

    He did this as he leaned in to say, “I have some cousins you don’t want to meet.”

    He was trying to scare off a lawsuit…which I’d never intended on bringing. My mistake, btw. I should’ve but that’s a long story.

    His attempt to hurt and threaten me was amusing. For one thing, that may’ve not felt good but compared to what my own family has and may do again to me? Cracker, please. That’s not even breaking bones! I laughed in his face and said, “Your cousins don’t want to meet MY cousins.” I can be scared but not by bullies. Only truly sick-fucks scare me 🙂

  9. Zahara says:

    Welcome back, Omawarisan. We missed you, and you have been in our thoughts.
    The hand shake/hump thing is too funny. You’re back on your game.
    You are definitely a writer! I feel the same way about art. If I thought I could earn a decent living making art, I’d skip Nursing school. Alas, my intention is to work as a nurse in order to support my art habit……

  10. shoutabyss says:

    Glad to you back in the saddle. It is my learned opinion that opinions don’t tell you diddly squat about a person. Nor things like “look ’em in the eye” and all that crap. I don’t much care for either and I don’t think they really say all that much about who a person really is, although I suspect your assessment of the aggressive move is spot on.

  11. Laura says:

    Re the handshake thing — who does that at a funeral?

    Glad you’re back.

  12. Thypolar says:

    Welcome back! Sometimes we don’t realize how much we enjoy or need something until it is absent from our day.

  13. Ever since I heard that the Freemasons really have a secret handshake, every time I shake hands with someone and they do something weird I wonder if they are giving me the secret handshake.

  14. pattypunker says:

    what laura said: who needs to establish power and control at a funeral. that handshake said it all, alright. it just wasn’t the message he thought it would be.

    so sorry to hear about your co-worker.

  15. Welcome back, and again, sorry about your co-worker/friend. I didn’t know that about the “assert power” handshake. Yuck. I do dislike people whose hands turn into limp fish (I’m thinking cod, here) when anyone extends their hand to them.

  16. Pie says:

    Laura is absolutely right. Anyone who pulls a power handshake stunt like that at a funeral is beyond the pale in my opinion. How low is that self esteem? And reading the article in that link you provided reinforces my vow to never become deeply involved in big business.

    I’ve thoroughly enjoyed your responses here today. You’re on fire, Oma. Welcome back.

  17. educlaytion says:

    Glad you’re back. Hard to stay away too long.

  18. thejaggedman says:

    I would say “Welcome Back” but you responded to all our comments when you were “gone” which means you never were really gone…. i’m just saying ya know? Seriously, I am glad you are back and the Empty Chair moved me to say this: You inspire me as a person and encourage me as a writer simply by your example. Like you said I wouldn’t know you if we passed on the street but I believe this: The next time you see your old classmate you will find out he has been neutered or is a better person in the passing. I know I am. Write On!

    • omawarisan says:

      And I was determined not to be here at all last week, then I kept peeking.

      Thank you very much for your kind words. I hope I don’t have another Empty Chair to write ever again, but thank you for letting me know it reached you. That means a lot.

  19. N B says:

    Welcome back, my friend. I am glad you came back to your addiction to writing.

    Good to know about handshakes. I learned the same thing: a firm shake with good eye contact. It is sad that some people feel the need to assert themselves like that.

    Prayers, Good Thoughts, and Best Wishes.

  20. Queen says:

    I’ve had people shake my hand like that. Didn’t know that they were trying to assert power over me. I just thought they were asses. Kinda like the limp-wrist handshake people. I mean, really…what IS the point of barely putting your hand in there to shake? Maybe they’re saying, “I concede to you, Oh Powerful One?” I dunno. Stupid.

    Welcome back. Missed you. Couldn’t put words together to express my sadness at your loss. It was a rough week for me last week, as well.

  21. Katybeth says:

    Before he died, Joe taught Cole to shake hands firmly while looking directly at the other person, correctly carve a piece of meat, and to hold the door open for another person especially his mother. He was very clear a boy/man needed to know how to these things well. . .He told Cole he was learning “MAN things.” When we pulled out the B-Q last year Cole looked at me and said ” Mom, I gotta learn how to b-q dad would have put it in the MAN thing category”

    Welcome back to where you belong.

  22. June B. Stewart says:

    So glad you’re back. Oddly I heard bagpipes twice in past week (cd & at the ballpark). Both times I thought of you & felt so sad for what you were going through. Don’t think I’ll ever listen to them without thinking of you.

    On to better times and the fact that you make us think about things that we might overlook or ignore. Thank you for that & for following your passion.

  23. linlah says:

    Surely you made an appointment for him with the vet so you could get that handshake taken care of. Number 3 seems like the best option.

  24. Glad you’re back, Oma…so sorry about your friend…

    I wasn’t aware of the handshake thing either…what a jerk!

    That pesky work gets in the way of my writing too…


  25. spencercourt says:

    Mabuhay! (I think you’ll recognize that Tagalog term.)

  26. gmomj says:

    You’re back?????
    We are all back….
    Roaches they always come back……
    Missed your glibitchure..

  27. maggie says:

    *cough* welcome back! ;D
    (better late than never???)

    I went to some kind of seminar thingamagig where they taught us how to properly shake hands with confidence. I have personal space issues, though, so I’m pretty sure I’m crap at shaking hands…

    THOUGH! Best handshake story of my life? I meet this friend of a friend, and as we’re introduced he goes to shake my hand and says to me he says:
    “This is the hand I masturbate with”
    and without missing a beat I respond:
    “This is the hand I rip testicles out with.”
    …and I was officially accepted into the group. 😉

    i also have a job to support my habit, but that’s because my habit is making bloody messes and my job let’s me do that legally ;D

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