When I Am Rich: My Mariachi BandPosted: April 4, 2011
Long time readers of Blurt know that I am carefully planning how to foolishly spend the vast income this blog affords me. Spending this windfall ridiculously is a responsibility I take seriously.
I’ve decided that it would be a good idea for me to have a mariachi band. Let me clarify that. I don’t want to be in a mariachi band. My intent is to retain a mariachi band as part of my entourage.
My mariachi band will be called Los Gatos Domésticos Gigante Del Mariachi – The Giant House Cats Of Mariachi.
Los Gatos will be a full scale mariachi band, with horns, violins, a singer and of course, a guy who plays that big guitar. They will always be dressed in big sombreros and matching sequined suits.
My band will know all your favorite mariachi songs, plus all their own original material . In addition, they will use the ample practice time I provide them to work up covers of your rock and R&B favorites. Imagine a mariachi version of the James Brown classic, Please Please Please, Johnny Cash’s I Still Miss Someone or Steve Miller Band’s The Joker.
Yes, it will be as cool as you imagine it, and more.
How Will I Use My Mariachi?
Let’s talk about the “and more”. I have a lot of ideas for my band.
How cool will it be when I make an entrance with my band? The door would fly open, the band would file in and play a jaunty little tune and then I’d walk in. I haven’t decided whether it would be best to have a theme song that the mariachi would play or whether they’d play a different song for each entrance.
Having the mariachi band would also be helpful in keeping in touch with friends. Suppose I hadn’t heard from a friend in a while. I could wake up one morning, gather my mariachi and tell them to head to the airport. They’d land at the closest airport, rent a van, and be on my friend’s doorstep early on a Saturday morning. When he woke to a mariachi version of one of Cheap Trick’s greatest hits, my buddy would know who sent these rocking muchachos.
Of course, Los Gatos Domésticos Gigante Del Mariachi would be available to all of you, at no charge, for gatherings at your home. I’d make sure they get to the gig on time, you’d just have to make sure they’ve got someplace to get dressed before the party and give them a ride back to the airport the next day. I will admit that I may take advantage of the situation and crash your party. I’ll have a bunch of money and time to burn, so I’ll probably show up to drink some of your beer and eat your appetizers.
My mariachi band would be the coolest. Other ridiculously rich people would talk the idea down, until they saw how well it worked out for me. Soon, they’d all want to know how I got the band together. I wont tell.
See you at the fiesta.