The Beginning Of The End Of The Donald Trump CampaignPosted: April 15, 2011
I make it a point to avoid politics. I was taught at a young age that politicians are suspect characters on their best days. I’ve never met a politician on their best day.
Despite my effort to remain apolitical, a recurring story in the US political news has caused me some concern. Apparently, Donald Trump is preparing to run for president. I have a hard time thinking of someone more despicable than Mr. Trump. After consulting some high level political minds, I realize that I must do something more than use my one vote.
That something starts today. I am announcing that I am running for president in direct opposition to Donald Trump.
I Am The Anti-Trump
Let me clarify my candidacy. I am in this race to drive Trump out. Once he is out of the race, either by removing himself from consideration or by being defeated, I will drop out of the race and allow one of the usual breed of suspect characters to win the election.
My candidacy is not about President Obama nor any of the passel of people who are certain they should be the one to replace him. This campaign is me and Donnie Boy, one on one. The success of my campaign will be judged by his now inevitable failure. When he leaves the race, we will know I have won.
Enough About Him, Let’s Talk About Me
Trump is someone who is known to most anyone who has a pulse. He owns buildings, beauty pageants and television shows. He commands an astronomic speakers fee for his appearances. He recently said he “screwed” Muammar Qadhafi, as if doing the same thing the Libyan leader’s nurses are purported to do distinguishes him as a world leader.
Oh, yeah, and he is detestable.
On the other hand, I don’t own much. My most successful public venture consists of mailing a facsimile of Angelina Jolie to strangers. I have no speakers fee. I will address any group in exchange for having my travel expenses covered and meeting a few nominal requirements.
Tools Shouldn’t Rule
When it comes to the moment when you are alone in the voting booth and have to decide whether to vote for me or Donnie Boy, I would like you to answer one question. That question is not which of us has the most money or which has the most ridiculous hair. Clearly both those questions go the Don-meister’s way.
Ask yourself, “who is a bigger tool, Trumpy-poo, or Omawarisan?” When you answer that question, factoring in the number of things each of us has named after ourselves, I believe it is apparent my opponent is a tremendous tool and not worthy of your vote.
When I Win
Let’s face it, when I defeat him, Trump is not going to announce “the people have spoken and I hear them saying that Omawarisan is the better man in the race.” He isn’t classy enough to do that. Even if he was, his voice is sufficiently irritating that I wouldn’t enjoy it.
No, we all know he won’t acknowledge me even when I vanquish him. I don’t need Trump’s validation my friends. I just need your vote to help send him away.
Please keep my campaign slogan in mind:
He’s not nearly the tool Don is.