Five Routine Minutes: I Am Not A Navy (Nor Any Other Kind Of) SealPosted: April 27, 2011
Last week, the Omawari-son was home on a break from college. He and I went to a Jimmy Buffett concert. He is the coolest. Buffett is cool too, but not as cool as my son.
We visited a lot of friends at a couple tailgate parties. Some of them hadn’t seen the Omawari-son since he was in middle school. It was a treat to share a day with my friends and son.
Enough about him, let’s talk about me.
I had on my 1938 San Francisco Seals baseball jersey. People were digging the shirt, as well they should. Ebbets Field Flannels owes me a commission on their sales from the east coast this week because I preached the gospel of their jerseys to many heathens who do not own one. Anyone looking for a really cool Father’s Day gift should order one. Anyone who is not a father should borrow a child, then just buy a jersey for themselves.
During the opening act, two men and a woman who was married to at least one of them came up and we chatted. After a few minutes the men went and sat down and the woman stayed a little longer. She asked if I was a Navy Seal. I was stunned by the question. The only thing I have in common with the people who earn the honor of that title is that my ears are on the sides of my head just like theirs are.
I issued a strong denial.
The woman was persistent. During the concert she went past me to go get a beer that she really did not need. She asked if I was sure I was not a Navy Seal. I told her I was. She pointed out that my shirt did say Seals on it and that I have short hair. Both of those were true, but I was still sure. She wasn’t. I was disappointed on behalf of all real Seals.
My son asked what was going on. I told him that the woman had identified me as a Navy Seal by my shirt and short hair. He had a great laugh about that.
The only kind of seal I may qualify to be balances a beach ball on his nose and eats buckets of fish. There were plenty of beach balls because it was a Jimmy Buffett concert.
I opted out of doing any balancing.