Boycotting The Royal Wedding – The Live BlogPosted: April 29, 2011
Well today is the day. Prince William, who is named after a county in Virginia, is marrying Kate Middleton in London. Ms. Middleton is not named after a county in Virginia.
One more long day of the media here in the states telling me how excited I am and “getting me ready for the big event”. Tomorrow we’ll have post game analysis by people who are somehow qualified to break all the action down for us and then, mercifully, we can begin to stop hearing about these people.
Let me be clear. I am certain these are two fine people who love one another. I’ve no issue with them marrying or that some people are intensely interested in how they go about becoming married. I am just sick of being informed that I am interested.
So here’s my plan. I am boycotting the wedding. I am pretty sure the happy couple will not be upset by that. My interest is simply to document my indifference because, well, I’m made that way.
Today is a day off from work for me. Throughout the day, I will be posting updates on my activities, none of which will be wedding related. I’ll pop on from time to time, update what is going on in the non-wedding world and answer your comments whenever I have a wi-fi connection or I’m home. I invite you all to participate. Stop by throughout the day to let me know what you’re doing instead of watching people get married.
Wedding fans, feel free to stop by and let those of us who aren’t playing know you’re having fun over there with whatever it is you’re doing. Watching the wedding isn’t my cup of tea. I don’t even like tea, but I certainly understand that you do. Come on over during commercials and time outs.
And Now, The Boycott
4 a.m.: The earliest coverage of the wedding that I am aware of starts at 4 am. I won’t be awake to catch it, so I’m setting this post to go up at that time so you all will know I’m still asleep.
Some of you are very visual people. I don’t know how to take a picture of myself sleeping and get it in the post. The best I can do is tell you that I am likely on my side, or maybe my back. I use two pillows and I keep the blanket up high over my shoulders.Unless something has gone horribly wrong, it is still dark where I am. I’ll be up around seven or so.
OK, there’s your first update on the progress of my boycott. I’ll update as events occur.
7:30 – Good morning! I am awake, refreshed and ready to begin consciously boycotting the wedding. ESPN is on. No mention of the wedding, but my Carolina Panthers have drafted Cam Newton at quarterback. I’m not sure that’s the best move. We’ve got someone at that position that is, at worst, serviceable. We’ve got no one at so many other positions. Hopefully I’m wrong
Yeah, 7:30. Sleeping in late. I wonder if that is sleeping in late to me because I’m getting older or because I get up at 4:30 on workdays? Time for some breakfast. Cap’n Crunch is on the menu this morning.
Happy to see I’ve got comments coming in already, I’ll look at them before cereal.
8:30 – Had some Cap’n Crunch on the back porch. Got a couple texts from my buddy Steve up in New York.
Sometimes I like being the only one at home in the neighborhood. It’s really quiet out here. Shower time. No video of shower time, as impressive as that would be…
9:45 – Errand time. Going to drop off an old computer desk that I’m getting rid of and maybe swing by the optician to get my glasses adjusted. Pretty sure I can remain wedding free there.
In other weird news, I went to get some socks out of my dresser. There was a $5 bill in my underwear drawer. What? Why? I scare me.
11:15 – So I get to the mall to go to Lens Crafters. I’m walking into the mall and this guy walks out. He is the clone of the prince that is not getting married. He even has the same hair.
I think people who look that much like other people don’t have good friends. If I looked like Prince Not Getting Married my friends would tell me I should probably cut my hair or something so that wouldnt be a problem.
I’m hungry. I’m going to go find a restaurant without a tv.
When I didn’t want to eat something when I was a kid my mother used to say “there are kids in China who would love that.” I don’t know why China was where all those kids lived. Be that as it may, I think there are people at the reception who would love some gumbo. I’ll bet you $5 they wont get any – the $5 I found in my underwear drawer.
3:20 – Laundry going and have my roux done for my gumbo.This wedding is making me productive.
I make a hell of a roux. Roux is the soul of good gumbo. I got the chance about a year ago to meet Bill Wharton, The Sauce Boss, who is a tremendous blues guitarist, showman, advocate for the homeless and the god of gumbo. I talked to him after a show and he helped me out with my gumbo recipe and especially with making my roux.
If you ever get a chance to see Bill play in your area, by all means do. Go see him, hear some great blues, have a bowl of the gumbo he makes during his show and bring a donation for his Planet Gumbo charity to help the homeless. He is a hell of a nice guy to meet. You’re not going to meet him at the royal wedding.Go see the show.
4:35 – You know, I have no idea what has happened in the world today. I know that whatever media exposure I have will be laced with wedding, so I have not watched TV or looked at news websites. This has been kind of cleansing. The boycott is a good thing. I’m relaxed. I havent heard any political foolishness, I don’t know what the highest grossing movie of the weekend is supposed to be. I don’t know the weather forecast. I don’t miss any of those things.
7:30 – Damn, I can cook. Got out for a walk, and have had a wedding free day.
Folding some laundry. I’m starting to really be behind this royal thing. Ignoring them makes me productive.
8:30 – Unbelievable. It is still on. They’re replaying it. Make it stop – please!
9;40 – Watching Fringe. I don’t watch this show enough to know what the heck is going on. People getting hit by lightning, some guy escaping a hospital in Massachusetts and taking a cab to New York. I’m shopping on line for music. A lot of commercials. Apparently there has been a wedding, film at eleven.
10:07 – Cardinals 3, Braves 3 – bottom of the ninth.
10:45 – time to get some sleep. Boycotts are tiring business