Donald Trump Vs. Me – Don Begins to Falter.

A few weeks ago, I declared myself a candidate for President of the United States against Donald Trump. Though I have no money to spend on my campaign and have gotten no television exposure, my opponent is feeling the effects of my candidacy. Let’s analyze what we see, shall we?

Trump – Inescapable

Since my announcement, Trump has been even more of a presence in the news.

Seal of the President of the United States

Image via Wikipedia

He held a press conference at which he announced that he is proud of himself. Who actually says  out loud “I am proud of myself”? Your mom says she is proud of you. Other people can be proud of you. Saying you’re proud of yourself is like giving yourself a nickname, it just isn’t done. Despite this moment of self congratulations, Trump’s approval started sliding.

Donnie then went to a dinner where the expectation was that everyone made fun of everyone else. My candidacy was so heavy on his mind that he did not laugh. This made him look kind of foolish. There is no excuse for a lack of a sense of humor, even at dinner.

Confronted by the juggernaut that the Omawarisan campaign is, Don cancelled plans to drive the pace car for the Indianapolis 500. He says he had something else to do. We all know that something else is trying to figure out how not to be humiliated by a relatively unknown blogger.

Don, if you need it, my birth certificate is in Hoboken.

Trump Is Running Scared – Why?

Image of Hoboken taken by NASA (red line shows...

Don, this is a treasure map to my birth certificate. (Image via Wikipedia)

My opponent is a jerk. Only the most desperate of men pat themselves on the back. The rest of us leave that to loved ones to do.

I think it shocked Trump’s campaign  when I made my first appearance on my blog.  I made it apparent that while I do not have good hair, it is far superior to that of my opponent.

In addition, I won the photo caption contest at the top notch blog many of you know as The Good Greatsby. This will, of course cause my campaign to surge further…if in fact surge is a measurable thing. I think it is.

I would say I am proud of myself for winning that contest, but that’s not how I roll.

I do have to acknowledge one similarity with my opponent. Like Donnie, I will not drive the pace car at the Indy 500. While that sounds like a fun thing to do, I have something else to do on Memorial Day. I will be at work when the race is held. Work. Do you know who else works? Voters. Hey voters, guess who doesn’t work? Don.

Opinion Polling Begins On The Race

Two weeks into the race, my instincts are telling me that Trump is in trouble despite his advantage in money and media attention. Based on my instinct, I am calling on Donald Trump to say definitively that he is not running for president and that I am the reason. It would be nice for him to admit he is getting out to avoid me, but I don’t expect that kind of class from him.

Quit now Don. The first me versus you poll is now open. I predict a landslide.


38 Comments on “Donald Trump Vs. Me – Don Begins to Falter.”

  1. Elly Lou says:

    Can you promise to uphold the corrupt traditions of your birthplace? If so, you’ll do just awesome in political office. Prepare to go grey.

  2. Do you have a catchy slogan yet?

    • omawarisan says:

      I’m struggling there. I need a slogan consultant.

      I thought about “dont make me embarrass you” but I think voters would mistake that for me talking to them when I really am just trying to tell trump to leave.

  3. Todd Pack says:

    Given a choice of you or the Donald, I’d pick you, no question. One advantage the Donald has is name recognition. I suggest you invent a time machine, go back 25 years and start branding yourself, or adopt a name people know. Could be anybody’s, good or bad. The important thing is that people see your new name and think, “I’ve heard of him,” as in, “‘Aaron Burr.’ I’ve heard of him.”

    • omawarisan says:

      How about Aaron Brrr?

      I could introduce myself in a debate…

      Hi, I’m Aaron Brrr. Not the Aaron Burr that shot Alexander Hamilton, the other one.

      My campaign could be all about being the other one.

      • Todd Pack says:

        Burr did more than shoot the Treasury secretary. He was also accused of trying to start his own country out West and spark a war with Spain. Aaron Burr was no one-trick pony.

  4. We found him Captain!! says:

    I’m sure that Trump will withdraw as soon as he finds that you really were born in a hoboken, NJ. As soon as he drops out of the race, you can drop out and announce your candidacy for mayor of Hoboken. Your contacts there would be worth more than those you would have in the White House.

    surely you realize the biggest perk to being Hoboken’s mayor would be that your city hall office would be directly across the street from “The Cake Boss” and his bakery.

  5. Spectra says:

    Trump is running scared now. I heard he is crouched underneath his desk in Trump Casino in Atlantic City, trying desperately to reorganize his campaign strategy.

    When he gets wind of this ‘Poll Daddy’ results, he better be wearing an adult diaper. Because he is seriously going to whiz himself.

  6. shoutabyss says:

    I am proud of myself. I voted. Unfortunately “Alien Hair” wasn’t an option. (Sorry, you’d have come in second.)

    There is definitely a causal relationship between your announcement and the decline of Trump since then. Well done.

  7. Katybeth says:

    Despite the fact that your hair is debatable and some of your policies a little on the–well never mind. And while I do like to gamble….and Donnie is so rich…I would still without hesitation vote for you because that is how I roll.

  8. Laura says:

    Trump is pretty high on my “if this person wins the election, I’m moving to Canada” list.

  9. You got my vote..oh yeah Canadians can’t vote…hmmm I think you could win against our PM!!

  10. Amy says:

    He’s so proud of himself that he will never admit that he’s been bested. When he loses he will be all like “I didn’t want to be president anyway. Being president is stupid.”

  11. madtante says:

    Srsly. I will write you in for the primaries.

    “Don, this is a treasure map to my birth certificate.”

  12. We can’t make an educated decision until we see some pictures of your hair!

  13. Binky says:

    You need to get a reality TV show to compete on even grounds, since fame is now the measure of importance. Perhaps some sort of Live Blogging show.

  14. Make sure the Jolie doesn’t get tough with your secret service men!

  15. Jeane says:

    The Don doesn’t stand a chance. By the way, I am so proud of you! Now do something spectacular like declare bankruptcy, stir the tea pot, and get a spray tan!

  16. Gee…I hope the media doesn’t get wind of your involvement with a certain notorious action figure…oops…sorry…


    • omawarisan says:

      But….that is my main accomplishment.

      Speaking of The Jolie…coming soon – Newfoundland, Las Vegas, and (ironically enough) The Virgin Islands

  17. pattypunker says:

    first, you need to question his identity because most likely he gave himself the last name “trump” as a stage name. i’m pretty sure he gave himself the nickname, the donald, too.

  18. […] that I ran for president against Donald Trump. I announced my candidacy. A few weeks later, the Trump campaign went into a tail spin. A week later, I drove him out of the race. In just over a month, I vanquished one of the richest […]

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