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An Onion In A Parking Lot

Early yesterday morning, I was driving when I got an important call. Knowing that this call was one that was going to require me to make a few notes to myself, I looked for a spot to pull over. I spotted a church parking lot just in time to make the turn and pulled in. It was early enough that the whole lot was deserted.

I looked around while I was on my call. There, a few spaces away, was an onion. Nothing else. Just an onion in a parking space.

Focus, Or The Lack Thereof

Yellow onions

Twice as distracting as one onion. (Image via Wikipedia)

Stuff like an onion in a parking space disturbs me. My caller and I kicked around the issue of the day and just how we’d address it. I had to be totally focused on the call.  But The Onion kept calling my eyes and attention to itself even though it wasn’t the issue of the day. I worked hard to keep my mind on the call. How would I explain my distraction if the caller picked up on it?

“Well sir, you see, there’s this onion where I am and it’s raising a lot of questions for me.”

Why was it there? The rest of the lot was pristine. It had very obviously been tidied up for the Sunday services. There was nothing else in the parking lot, just me and The Onion. Beyond The Onion, nothing but black top and parking spaces.

Georgia Has Its Peaches, Idaho Is Where Potatoes Come From

Basket of onion ringlets,

What could have been. (Image via Wikipedia)

What state grows all the onions? I don’t know either, but I know it isn’t North Carolina. It came from somewhere else. That means that The Onion was one well-traveled bulb.

Some onion farmer raised The Onion to be part of a salad, grilled to go on a cheese steak sub or perhaps to even be the star of a crock of French Onion Soup.It had so much potential flavor and nourishment. But Destiny had planned a sadder fate for this tangy ball of savory goodness. Planted, watered, raised, harvested, washed, boxed, shipped and bought.

All for naught.

All for naught.

On The Other Hand

What a jerk (Photo copyright me, but seriously, use it however you want)

I am obviously wistful about the plate of onion rings The Onion never was. Just the same, I am not overwhelmed with affection for this particular onion.

Look at the way this onion is parked. What a jerk. He has the whole space available and where is he? All over the line. No one else is going to be able to park there now. I don’t know what state grows all the onions, but I think they have a thing or two to learn about teaching common courtesy.

So what have we learned today? I don’t know. It’s an onion. Alone. Far from home.

That, and I can write five hundred words about one solitary onion.

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50 Comments on “An Onion In A Parking Lot”

  1. Julie says:

    A Mattamuskeet Sweet would never act that way!

  2. We found him Captain!! says:

    You have failed to consider the spiritual message behind the onion, the CHURCH parking and you. Listen to the message God is sending you…….
    He is telling you to return tonight @ 7:30, They are having a Memorial day fried onion ring supper and you are invited.

  3. eiok says:

    Ha that’s brilliant, I am on my Holidays in Cyprus and on the beach yesterday my 2 year old son found an onion! YES an onion!? What the hell is that doing here I wondered as I took a picture of him triumphantly holding the onion aloft.

    Something funny is going on here regarding onions…

  4. shoutabyss says:

    Did you notify the authorities? All unattended onions must be reported immediately.

    Perhaps you should have apprehended and grilled the suspect.

    Actually, this sounds a lot like a scene from the movie, “The Gods Must Be Using Aromatics.” You didn’t see Alton Brown hanging around in the bushes, did you?

    Also, thanks for permission to use the photo. That’s going to kick my blog into orbit!

    /no layers jokes

    • omawarisan says:

      I didn’t notify the authorities. Since I am them, I immediately went into my default mode and went to activities designed to keep The Onion down, just as The Man expects me to.

  5. gmomj says:

    I was in the parking lot of my local food market when a male friend who has been out of work caught up with me. He was saying, God just don’t hear my cries anymore, I hardly have money for food. Suddenly I noticed behind him a perfect mango on the pavement.
    I think God just sent you a mango Ed!
    He put it in his bag and walked off.
    Hello!!! You got an onion!!! What did you say? No thanks, I’ll just blog about it. A church parking lot? Hello??
    I always say (for myself) if the Good Lord can’t get my attention with a feather , He for sure will throw a brick at my head. JMHO. Have a great day. Love your blog.

  6. Katybeth says:

    There is only one thing to do when you find an onion alone in a church parking lot….pick it up, name it and take it home. But you didn’t did you? Because who knew where that onion had been… had the person who dropped it washed their hands? Had it fallen out of the back of a dirty, yucky car back seat? or worse the trunk of a car. Had a pigeon turned it down…. Sigh.

    Cheers.

  7. jaerae1971 says:

    I think you should have attached it to your vehicle and made it a hood ornament, proclaiming the beginning of ‘Onion Sunday’, a weekly celebration of things that make one cry.

  8. Pie says:

    That story was so sad it brought a tear to my eye (no onion required). Why did you not pick it up and take it home? Why? The Omawarison is not there anymore. You have room. Look at it sitting pathetically on the line waiting for a nice owner like you to pick it up, put it on the back seat wrapped in a tissue and take it home to be used in the way nature intended. You wouldn’t have left a dog or a cat like that would you? Or would you?

    • omawarisan says:

      Oh man, you had to play the son card. He’s been home on a long weekend from taking a summer course, I could have made him onion soup.

      And I call myself a father!

  9. See an onion, pick it up, all that day you’ll have good luck.

    See an onion, let it lay, no onion on your hot dog day.

    Me, I would have picked it up! 🙂

    Happy Memorial Day, and I hope you have lots of onions for your hot dogs!

  10. Lenore Diane says:

    Note to Blurt: GA is also known for its…. wait for it…. onions. Yes, my blogging friend, it is true. GA is known for vidalia onions. Apparently, as sweet as apples, vidalia onions can be eaten like an apple. Though based on your picture, that does not look like a vidalia onion. Plus, vidalia’s have southern charm. They would not park themselves that way. ~ Lenore

  11. Kim Pugliano says:

    I am SO GLAD my husband has left to hang out with a buddy or I would be in a buttload of trouble thanks to you Oma. Here I am, reading your post, thinking it’s going to be an innocent post, and instead it ends up being hilarious, causing me to laugh out loud when really I should be working, my fingers typing quickly across the keyboards everything the doctors dictate. Highlights of my favorite parts:

    “Well sir, you see, there’s this onion where I am and it’s raising a lot of questions for me.”

    And then of course the rudeness of parking DIRECTLY on the white line. The audacity. Oh Oma, how will I concentrate on my work now?

  12. Jane says:

    Good thing you didn’t pick up the onion. It is likely that she parked on the line to draw attention to herself.

    Once you would have walked over, she would have probably apologized and groveled, followed by a story of losing her oldest and dearest friend, Garlic, to a vinaigrette. She may have claimed that she was trying to get minced by a mini-van, so that she could forget her sorrows.

    You would have thought that you should help her out and taken her home.

    That’s a well-known tactic used by members of the Society for Onion Dominance (SOD)to gain access to to personal information. The average SOD is willing to remain motionless for hours in order to complete her mission.

  13. Betty says:

    Okay Catholic school boy, ask yourself this: what would Jesus do?

  14. Binky says:

    Perhaps the onion lost his way and was looking for salvation.

  15. Laura says:

    I think the poor onion is terrified. It’s not parking over the line; it’s trying to stay on the line, outside of either parking space, so it doesn’t get run over by a car.

  16. jacquelincangro says:

    This onion symbolizes something more. Much more. The peeling back of the layers of society to reveal, at its core, the humanity of man. The way we must find what unites us together rather than what drives us apart.
    Either that, or it’s just an onion in a parking lot.

  17. I think that Onion is one of them Independent voters out that both parties are trying to win.

  18. madtante says:

    I’m wondering not just how it ended up parked askew but naked. The fact that it’s in a church parking lot brings to mind the idea somebody stripped it, did goodness-knows-what to it then dropped it in the lot.

    The onion may have actually needed our help but we thought it was the flake.

  19. Todd Pack says:

    Somewhere, someone was cursing the bagger at Kroger for forgetting to put in her onion.

  20. Artswebshow says:

    Very odd indeed, did the experience bring a tear to your eye

  21. […] Blurt Some words that have to come out of me. HomeAboutgooglef0107d13342d39be.htmlThe BlogsThe cover songsThe InterviewsThe Jolie Pez ProjectThe Policies. Twitter RSS Feed ← An Onion In A Parking Lot […]

  22. planetross says:

    I wish I drove an onion: parking spaces aplenty!!!

    note: doing doughnuts in a parking lot is illegal, but onion rings are probably okay.

  23. Spectra says:

    Washington State is known for it’s delicious Walla Walla onions, even sweeter than the Georgia Vidalia. I’ve had the pleasure of both. I know. And this, Sir,
    was no Walla Walla.

    I’da had to run over it, back and forth, just a few times, to test it’s skwash-Factor.

  24. This must be “Onions Gone AWOL Week”, Oma…I found an orphan onion on the floor of our family room a couple of days ago. I’m assuming that my dog took it from its bag in the kitchen and carried it to its new home…didn’t find any teeth marks, so I put it back in the bag…

    You are the only person I know who could come up with 500 words about an onion…of course, there is that website called “The Onion”…

    Wendy

  25. Hmm. Perhaps a misguided Christian was trying to ward off a vampire…after all, God hates fangs.

  26. […] parking lot, wondered about it, and took it on as a writing challenge.  I’ve written about a thing in a parking lot before, but it wasn’t such a dark piece.These are just the words that came out of me this […]


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